Adult Children, Info & Help

Why Bother Helping People Who Hurt You: Puppies & Porcupines

Yesterday I asked How Do You Help An Injured Porcupine? Today I’m thinking of a different question:

Why bother?

Ever cuddle a puppy? They curl up in your lap and lick your face. Everything about a puppy is somehow warm and soft and fuzzy.

Cuddling a puppy is fun and rewarding. Puppies do cute stuff—even their mischief elicits smiles. They appreciate and respond to kindness. They trust. If you get angry they forgive.

Even non-dog-lovers have a soft spot for puppies. If hurting people were like puppies, helping them would be easy. Folks would line up for the opportunity.

Shine Your Light: Don't Force Unbelievers

If you accidentally married, or are going to marry someone who is an unbeliever, or who says they are a believer, but behaves differently, you cannot make them believe like you after marriage. You cannot plead, coax, bribe, yell, intimidate, or push your spouse into going to church, reading the bible, or accepting Jesus for their life. The more you push, the more they pull away.

How To Change Another Person

river runs through itWhy is it the people who need the most help… won’t take it? Norman Maclean (A River Runs Through It)

Who’s that person in your life who needs to change?

Perhaps a boss bullies and controls or fosters chaos through indecisiveness. Maybe a coworker refuses to communicate or a friend follows a self-destructive path. Possibly a child breaks your heart with obviously bad decisions or a spouse drifts silently away.

Why is Life So Unfair?

Do you ever wonder why life is so unfair?

Understanding Verbal Abuse and Anger

Understanding Verbal Abuse and Anger

When is Counseling Needed?

Learn how to identify when professional counseling is needed.

Healing Relationships

Is an important relationship broken? Learn important principles on how to rebuild it in a godly manner.

Why Does Violence Happen?

have you or a loved one been affected by violence? Learn why it happens and how to overcome its ramifications.

Does Your Life Need Transforming?

You can Experience a Transformed Life! Learn how using Biblical principles.

ACOA Fantasies

1. That I can control my emotions.

2. That I can control someone else's emotions or actions or thoughts.

3. That I deserve:

. . .to get something good.

. . .to get something bad.

. . .to be punished for mistakes.

. . .to be rewarded for perfection.

. . .to be rewarded for good behavior, intentions, thoughts, feelings, whatever.

4. That I can "make" sense out of anything. ("Making" sense is not the same as "discovering" sense.)

5. That I am responsible for

. . .for outcomes.

. . .for other people's feelings, thoughts or actions.

6. That I am not responsible for my own actions��that it is all someone else's fault.

7. That my feelings have to be acted on. (e.g., when I'm afraid, I should attack or flee.)

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