Info & Help

Understanding the Phases of Grief

The Four Phases of Grief
1. Numbness – This is the phase immediately following a loss. The grieving person feels numb, which is a defense mechanism that allows them to survive emotionally.

2. Searching and Yearning – This can also be referred to as pining and is characterized by the grieving person longing or yearning for the deceased to return. Many emotions are expressed during this time and may include weeping, anger, anxiety, and confusion.

3. Disorganization and Despair – The grieving person now desired to withdraw and disengage from others and activities they regularly enjoyed. Feelings of pining and yearning become less intense while periods of apathy, meaning an absence of emotion, and despair increase.

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Is Bulimia or Addiction Your “Temper Tantrum at God?”

Last week, David Powlison of the CCEF posted a superb series entitled
“Making All Things New: Restoring Pure Joy to the Sexually Broken”. The 2-part article went into some depth in giving biblical counselors insight in identifying problem patterns in those who struggle with lust and pornography, as well as helping the counselee truly grasp the grace Christ offers and allow himself to be transformed from within. I highly recommend you read the series (there are many parallels between the life-dominating sins of sexual lust and eating disorders).

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Little Slips

“Whoever is faithful in very little–is also faithful in much; and
whoever is unrighteous in very little–is also unrighteous in much.”
Luke 16:10

We are apt to under-estimate little failures in duty.

It seems to us, a small matter:
that we do not keep an engagement,
that we lose our temper,
that we say an impatient or angry word,
that we show an unkind or harsh spirit,
that we speak uncharitably of another,
that we treat someone with discourtesy, or
fail in some other way which appears trivial.

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When My Prayers Seemed Unanswered

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me! But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you–for My power is made perfect in your weakness!'” 2 Corinthians 12:8-9


Many prayers which seem to be unanswered–are really answered. The blessing comes–but in a form we do not recognize. Instead of the very thing we sought–something better is given!

The burden is not lifted away–but we are sustained beneath it.

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The Role of Hope in Counseling Eating Disorders

In the biblical counseling course I am currently taking, the point is made that counselees will often say that they have prayed about the problem (read: sin), but that is all they have done. Their general hopelessness comes from the fact that nothing in their situation has changed; they are still enslaved; from all appearances, God has not moved. Does He not see or care? From their vantage point, prayer must be ineffectual. This often leads to hopelessness.

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Want to be Free of Bulimia? Then F.L.E.E.!

As I study more deeply the theory and practice of biblical counseling, I find much material has already been produced that articulates the inner struggle bulimics deal with daily – how to fight and win against temptation. This battle is certainly not unique in any way to eating disordered individuals; all sin follows a similar pattern until, unchecked, it becomes a life-dominating problem.

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Lessons in Faith – Life After Bulimia

As of May 2010, it is six years since God set me free from the life-sucking bondage of bulimia. Through daily drawing near to Him and immersing myself in His life-giving Word, the Lord Jesus not only renewed my mind entirely, He proved Himself my dearest and most faithful Friend.

I’d like to take a short break from posting from my biblical counseling studies (although I’m finding great value in the nouthetic courses I’m taking, and wish more counselors for eating disorders had this insight) in order to just share a bit from the heart. Many of you have read my testimony of deliverance (under the June 2009 archives), but our lives are an ongoing testimony to God’s grace. The story simply doesn’t stop there.

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Don’t Be Afraid

The disciples were sitting in a boat. [Matthew 14:26-32] After a long night battling the wind, they saw a man walking toward them on the water. Tired and bleary-eyed, they imagined that a ghost approached from the mist. They cried out in fear.

walk-on-water

It was Jesus, and He said, “Take courage. It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

Don’t be afraid.

Really?

Wouldn’t you be afraid? Did Jesus seriously expect them to suddenly stop feeling fearful?

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Compromise: Left, Right, Or Something Else?

Which are you—left, right, or somewhere in the middle?

spectrumWe’re apparently programmed to think of nearly every aspect of our lives in terms of a linear continuum.

Politics provides the most obvious example. Left/right, liberal/conservative, red/blue. While most of us don’t reside at an extreme, we’re certainly conditioned to think of ourselves at least on one side or the other of center.

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What Perception Do You Cling To?

What do you think when you see this little blue guy?

blue guy

I asked some middle school kids that question. Hands went up, signaling a number of insightful comments. The sign reminded some of friends or family members. A few said they wondered about the people who needed those parking spaces. One appreciated that we care enough to provide this simple aid for folks in need.

After they seemed about finished, one boy who might have been a stand-in for Dennis the Menace raised his hand.

“Technically, the little guy’s white. The background is blue.”

We all chuckled as he protested that he was just being observant.

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