Info & Help

Loving Your Alcoholic Wife

If anyone knows what it’s like to live with an alcoholic wife it would be my husband, who for several years, battled with my addiction with me. That’s right, he battled alcoholism with me. Because I have been sober for fifteen years I can write about addiction with confidence. Alcoholism is a family affair and without knowing how to handle addiction, being married to an alcoholic is an ongoing battle. It does not matter who is the alcoholic, wife or husband – what matters is how you handle the affects. If your wife is an alcoholic there is great hope in her recovery by how you manage the addiction.

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He is an Alcoholic and Asked Me to Marry Him. What Can I Expect?

Ask Angie: The alcoholic man I love, is kind, smart, funny and spiritual. He has to drink most days. He can’t have 1 or 2 beers. When he drinks, he drinks until he is drunk. Then he becomes the other man I live with. Verbally demanding to the point of abuse. He complains he does not get enough attention or sex, that he needs it every day. I love him, but I am worn out. My friends and family think he is a great man. He works hard, he loves his children and me more than anything…. he has only 1 fault… he is an alcoholic. He has asked me to marry him… I can’t commit until he proves our relationship comes first, not alcohol. I have detached. I don’t argue or fuss. I just calmly just let him know that I will marry him, when “he” is ready.

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What Do Couples Need From Each Other In Marriage?

What does a wife need from her husband? I can’t answer that question for all women, but I do know what I need. I need my husband to be supportive of my endeavors and ideas. I want my husband to realize that the marriage does not center only around him and what he needs, but on what we both need. I want for my husband to make time for me. I want to be put on the top of his priority list, after God, and not on the bottom. Does that sound selfish? It’s not selfish when you know that he gets the same treatment from me.

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Why Do Marriages Fail?

Marriages do not fail; it is the people in marriage that fail. God would never design a marriage program that failed. God is perfect and He has established perfection in marriage. Marriages fail because we are not taking responsibility for ourselves in the marriage. If we don’t work the program, we won’t know what to do when trouble strikes, and ultimately we will fail the marriage class.

Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. Proverbs 8:33,34 NIV

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The “Musts” of the Big Book

The following are quotes from the book Alcohlics Anonymous (also known as The Big Book).

“Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.” Big Book, page 164

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Who told you that?

After the fall, Adam began to explain to God how he was ashamed and afraid because he was naked. I love the way God responded:
Who told you that you were naked?” Genesis 3:11

Obviously Adam had been influenced, informed and instructed by a voice other than the voice of God. God was perturbed about it!
“You think you need to hide in shame and be afraid?
Who told you that?”

I wonder how many times God has the same objection when He hears the lies we believe:
Who told you that?

Who told you weren’t capable?
Who told you one little compromise wouldn’t hurt?
Who told you you’d never accomplish anything significant?
Who told you it was too late to start over?
Who told you that you couldn’t be forgiven?

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Where is Your Faith?

Over the last eighteen years, I’ve been privileged, to be able to share my Spiritual experience to a vast number of people from all walks of life. I, like many of my readers struggle with everyday issues of life and in no way do I ever want to project a holier than thou persona.

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When the Wheels Come Off

I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s when parents still told their kids to go outside and play. My friends and I would spend all day in the yard and when we got hot and sweaty enough we’d run to the back patio, open the water spigot on the side of the house and get down on our hands and knees so we could get low enough to turn our mouths up for a drink of water that splashed all over our faces and down our necks. In the evenings I remember seeing my parents shaking their heads as they watched the oil crises in the 1970’s unfold on the nightly news. Gas prices skyrocketed to 73 cents a gallon! “Turn it off,” my mother would say to my dad. “Good grief! The wheel’s are coming off but they make it sound like the world’s ending.”

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How Can I Trust My Husband Again?

Ask Angie: I am finding it hard to trust my husband again. We’ve been married for 31 years. this Valentine’s day and in year 28 I found out he was heavily into drugs, which he now claims to be free of, but I still have a hard time believing him because of the extent he wants to hide his use. All the lies, deceit, and now the unwillingness to discuss it with me, leaves me with many unanswered questions.

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