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Divorce Proof Marriage

Divorce-proof Marriage?

No marriage can be made absolutely divorce-proof. No marriage is without difficulties and crises. Yet, a strong and intimate relationship can be built through what I choose to call crisis survival. Pain and suffering can provide creative growth. Romance and moments of ecstasy are wonderful, yet the stressful experience can also provide a setting for blessing. There is truth in the cliché, “No pain, and no gain.” Some of us flee from discomfort and never discover the benefits of “seeing it through” and forging even closer bonds in the shared traumas and trials.

The following seven building blocks are designed to nurture divorce- resistant partnerships:

1. Build each other up.

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When Heaven Goes Silent

The emergency room was deathly still except for my husband?s anguished weeping.

Tearless, I held our little son Timmy’s chilling body to my breast, trying to warm him, unwilling to let him grow cold. Bruised from futile resuscitation efforts, he was naked except for a rough blanket wrapped around him and secured with a diaper pin.

The mortician peeked in. He was waiting. I wanted to run into the night with Timmy’s body and hide him somewhere where I could keep him safe.

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Grief and Depression: The 6 T’s of Moving Through Grief

One of the most moving scenes in musical “The Man from La Mancha” came as Don Quixote dying was roused by his lady Dulcinea to hear the words of the song, The Impossible Dream again.
“Tell me the words,” he asks.
“But they are your words, my Lord,” she responds.
He remembers then and sings the magnificent song that embodied his dream.

For years at funerals and during times of loss and grief, I have shared with those who are in the midst of their mourning these special blessings God gives us to cope with our sorrow and pain. They are Tears, Talk, Touch, Toil, Trust, and Thanksgiving. In my heartbreaks, my own words of comfort return to me as a benediction of grace. It was as if I heard an owl say, They are your own words, Philip. Listen to them.

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Holy Hope

I am convinced that God never ceases to form, reform, and transform all of creation. I am further assured and reassured that God in Christ works to lift our personal burdens and set us free from the chains that bind us. I therefore believe:

WE ARE RESPONSIBLE

To the extent that we assume our own responsibility, our serenity and joys increase. This response-ability is ours and belongs to no one else. It is also the basis for our personal morality and social ethic. As God’s earthly flock, we are not to be condemned for our natural human weakness, sickness, or waywardness. But we are accountable. We have the choice to be willful or to become willing and allow our divine Shepherd to tend us. We can always turn and return to God for health and salvation.

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ACOA Fantasies

1. That I can control my emotions.

2. That I can control someone else’s emotions or actions or thoughts.

3. That I deserve:

. . .to get something good.

. . .to get something bad.

. . .to be punished for mistakes.

. . .to be rewarded for perfection.

. . .to be rewarded for good behavior, intentions, thoughts, feelings, whatever.

4. That I can “make” sense out of anything. (“Making” sense is not the same as “discovering” sense.)

5. That I am responsible for

. . .for outcomes.

. . .for other people’s feelings, thoughts or actions.

6. That I am not responsible for my own actions��that it is all someone else’s fault.

7. That my feelings have to be acted on. (e.g., when I’m afraid, I should attack or flee.)

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Christ-Centered Intervention

By Glen Kerby

Steps to an intervention from a Christian perspective:
1) We get everyone that is involved in this person’s life to agree to meet for prayer in this matter. We need to remember that if it is that person’s time then God is working in his or her life as we prepare to meet them.

2) We get the family to agree to the two choices and the only two choices that this person has to pick from.

3) We do an intervention plan, we pick a safe place for everyone to gather.

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The Awakening for Women

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shutter once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

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