Relationships

I Have Forgiven My Husband’s Adultery but He is Distant

Ask Angie: I forgave husband of infidelity and adultery now he won’t talk to me nor sleep close to me what am I doing wrong?

Marriage Guidance: How can forgiveness be wrong? Forgiving others their trespasses against us is always the right thing to do, even if they continue trespassing against us. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. All you can do is your part in the marriage and it looks like you are attempting to do that by forgiving your husband. You didn’t tell me if he has repented of adultery or not so I can only speculate that he has not.

Let’s talk about ways in which we can heal ourselves and restore marriage after adultery.

Make God First in Marriage

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Putting Aside Arrogance and Embracing Humility

Luke 12:16-21 NKJV
Then He spoke a parable to them, saying: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded plentifully. And he thought within himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no room to store my crops?’ So he said, ‘I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there I will store all my crops and my goods. And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry.” ‘ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?’ So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”>

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Our Lives Should be More Like Jazz

I don’t know much about jazz except that I usually like it, especially live. I’m thinking that our lives might be a little richer if they were a little more like jazz.

Jazz music is sort of unscripted. Each song has a basic melody and sometimes words, but the performance is spontaneous. Real jazz isn’t rehearsed like a lot of other music—it’s more of a live interaction between the musicians. They practice and develop their individual skills, but the music happens when they play off one another.

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Save Your Marriage By Starting With a Clean Slate

If you really want to save your marriage, you must start with a clean slate. That means to get rid of the worldly attitudes and practices that have polluted your marriage and follow God’s plan for your marriage instead. We’re so used to treating our marriage like everyone else does, or the way we were taught, or from what we think is the right way to handle it, but look where all that has gotten many of our marriages of today.

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Heal Marriage After Adultery

Do you want your marriage nursed back to health? If you want your marriage restored it will take some effort on your part. Stop peering over the fence at your neighbor, and put your eyes back in your own yard where they belong.

First, the offended spouse needs to forgive completely (see my article, forgive a cheating spouse), and secondly the offender has to understand why he strayed from the marriage bed in the first place. Infidelity is only a symptom of a greater problem within the framework of the marriage.

If you have been unfaithful or have anything else pulling you away from your spouse, ask yourself why? What am I doing that would cause me to be disloyal? Don’t blame your spouse for your weakness. Grow up and take responsibility.

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How to Handle a Cheating Husband

Ask Angie: Is divorce the only answer for a repeat cheater?

Ask Angie: How do I stop him from cheating on me?

Ask Angie: My husband confessed to cheating I was so hurt I threw him out of our home and we are now separated, he has been treating me worse than ever and is acting like he was when I suspected his cheating what should I do? I’m so confused.

Ask Angie: My husband left me and moved in with a woman, for the second time! He came back complaining about her but left again. I am a Christian and want my husband back. He’s been gone 5 weeks with no contact. We have 3 children. The woman he is with is married too, and to number 4? Is restoration a reality?

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