Marriage

Long-suffering In Marriage

I saved my marriage when I finally gave up trying to be in control of my spouse. We all think that once we get married that we can change our spouse to be what we want them to be, or we may even think they will change on their own, but what faults bother us about the person we’re thinking of marrying will only become bigger faults after the wedding. It’s wrong to think we can change people or control them to be the people we want, and if we think like this before the “I do’s” were going to be in for a big surprise.

After marriage if we dwell on the faults of our spouse it will only make us feel more superior to them, and then we start to justify reasons why we should leave them, or worse why we should have an affair. People think like this – they really do! I have my share of wives and husbands that tell me they think they married the wrong person. Can an attitude get any worse than that? I don’t think so. We must always come back to the long-suffering that God talks about.

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Married to an Abusive Alcoholic: Am I Helping My Spouse to Drink?

It can be very difficult when living with an alcoholic. You never know what to expect from one moment to the next. If you are married to an alcoholic then you need to set boundaries for your personal self. You NEED to take care of you now. You do not have to allow the alcoholics verbal abuses to take control of your emotions another minute longer!

We’ve all heard the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me”. Well, this is pretty much what it’s like when living with a verbally abusive alcoholic. Learn to not let “the names” hurt you by emotionally detaching. You should never allow the alcoholic behavior control how you will behave because by doing this it shows that you are controlled by alcoholism just as much as the alcoholic is.

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How to Not Change Your Spouse

Loving our spouse is giving them the freedom to be who it is they are. When we love without WANTING anything in return, that is when we have accepted our spouse for being who they are, faults and all.

This of course, doesn’t include iniquitous behavior because if anyone is carrying on and regularly doing things in err against spouse or God, they certainly are not being the person they were meant to be. Therefore, this article does not apply to them.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change!

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Learning Not To Take Offense

According to John Bevere in his book,The Bait of Satan, the bait of taking offense is the number one trap that the enemy – Satan – sets for Christians. And the closer the relationship between the people involved in the offense taken, the deeper the wound and the deeper the offense, as seen in the depth of David’s suffering when he expresses his suffering after being betrayed by one near and dear to him in Psalm 55:

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What it Means to Detach From the Alcoholic

Ask Angie: What can I do as a Christian woman to stop my husband from drinking too much beer? He doesn’t think it’s a big deal because he is not drunk and because in his eyes he is a good man.

Ask Angie:What about love? I get the detachment thing, but will the love I still have in me disappear too? That is a fear.

**This marriage column has three marriage videos that go along with it. Listening to these videos will help you get a better understanding about what detachment from addiction really means for you and for the alcoholic. These videos talk in more detail about how to detach with love and to let go…<.em>

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Detaching From the Alcoholic

Ask Angie: Hi Angie, I was reading your article titled “Do You Love an Alcoholic – Setting Boundaries for You”. I’d like to follow these suggestions, but I have some questions. How long should I detach myself before I should move out? We have two kids (3 and 5). How do I go about detaching when we all live together? Should I move me and my kids out for a while? How do I explain to them what’s going on?

Marriage Guidance:

How Long Should I Detach Before Moving Out?

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Why Should a Wife be Submissive to Her Husband?

Why do some Christian women have a difficult time dealing with the submission issue in marriage? It is because over the years the scriptures have been abused to mean something other than what God meant. Unfortunately, many Christians lose the greatest relationship on earth and in heaven because of their own unwillingness to follow Christ and realize HE IS THEIR SOURCE!

“Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Corinthians 11:3

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If You Have Committed Adultery

The adulterer is hurting themselves more than the people they have betrayed. They too are suffering and need God’s love healing.

We all know about the commandment to not commit adultery but obviously we have not taken it very seriously. Why is that? Why are Christians committing adultery? It is because they are dispassionate Christians who have not learned, nor have been taught to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and that Christianity is a lifestyle. They do not know that the Kingdom of God is already here!

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