Self-Image

Depression and No Self-worth

I’ve struggled and been in horrible, depressing bondage most of my life because I had no concept of self-worth and somehow that became tied to my appearance. I’ve struggled since a young teen with BDD, “body dysmorphic disorder”, a totally disabling disorder where the person sees themselves as so ugly and hideously deformed, they feel they have no right to even be alive and fear to be around others. I eventually turned to drink as my ‘coping mechanism” because that was the only way I could be around others and feel somewhat human. I’d been in and out of the hospital 7 times and had seen more Dr’s and taken more meds (often while still drinking) than I can remember. I even had shock therapy to try and overcome the overwhelming depression and hatred for myself.

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I am Freed from Being a Lesbian

Some of you, my friends, have asked me, “How did God or what circumstances did He use to free me from being a bi-sexual/lesbian?”

When I first came on the Internet, I didn’t really tell anyone right away about my problem of being a lesbian. All my life I had wanted to change this part of me. I couldn’t stand being a lesbian, with all those perverted thoughts and images and (yes doing the act with a woman) going on in my head. I knew there had to be a way to be free from it, but didn’t know how to be set free. I couldn’t talk about it to anyone for fear of being rejected, unloved, and even neglected especially by GOD.

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Living a Double Standard

My feelings of guilt and shame towards a same-sex attraction began at an early age. I experienced frequent sexual abuse from an older male friend during most of my teen years, and hustling for money soon followed.

Years later, I was baptized in a Mennonite Brethren church as a public declaration that I would follow Christ. My secret desire was that maybe now my attraction and sexual fantasies towards men would disappear. They didn’t, and the fantasies soon turned into years of acting out behaviours.

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Forgiveness of Yourself

You are not a failure. You are a Christian in recovery who failed. Satan wants you to forget what you have accomplished so far and to focus on a few moments of inappropriate behavior. Jesus wants you to focus on Him!

“I am in a Bible study and I feel I should give up this privelege.”

No way! That is Satan talking to you again. Stay in the Word.
Pray and commune with God. Ask for forgiveness and then accept His grace and mercy.

  • Ask the LORD to forgive and cleanse you of your error.
    Isaiah 1:18
    Come now, let us reason together,"
    says the LORD.
    "Though your sins are like scarlet,
    they shall be as white as snow;
    though they are red as crimson,
    they shall be like wool.

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The Need To Be Right


Am I the only one who struggles with the need to be right?

Actually, that’s not quite correct. My real issue involves needing others to acknowledge that I’m right.

I get passionate about something, an idea, a cause, a program—nothing wrong with that. But the next thing you know I’m immersed in a knockdown argument with someone who disagrees. I perceive it, but I can’t let it go. Just one last comment, one more tweet, and my desire for the last word becomes an endless series of “one more” responses.

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The Domestic Slave


There are various kinds of slavery in the world, and many classes of victims of this cruel bondage. There is among others, the domestic slave, whose tyrant is her husband–and the scene of her bondage, her home!

His stinginess allows her scanty supplies for bare necessities. His selfishness is so engrossing and exacting, that his demands for his own personal ease and indulgence are incessant, and leave her no time for the consideration of her own comfort. His disposition is so bad, that all her diligence to please are unavailing to give him satisfaction, or to avert the sallies of his irritability, discontent, and complaints.

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Freedom From Bondage

Today is the day we celebrate our nation’s freedom yet there are so many people who are still in bondage. They are in bondage to schedules, deadlines, television, sports, alcohol, drugs, sex, profanity, and all the other things that come before Jesus and keep them from serving Him and spending time with Him as He has commanded us to do. He has told us that we should have no other gods before Him. However all too often we allow things that will one day mean nothing come before Him and our service to Him.

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