Getting My Eyes Off of Myself
A cheerful heart is a good medicine,
but a downcast spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22 NRSV
We visited a church with our kids on Sunday. The pastor, in trying to make a point about honesty, addressed the dynamic that occurs when friends meet together: “How are you?” “I’m fine.” He concluded that often the “I’m fine” is actually a lie because we aren’t fine.

But are we?
As Christians should we have any opportunity for griping or complaining, moaning or groaning? Or are we actually stating a truth when we say “I’m fine,” a truth that perhaps we really don’t embrace but which is a truth nonetheless? Paul wrote:
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who at one time would have been hospitalized for their problems. As many as half of them are also addicted to alcohol and/or drugs. Many are “self-medicating” — using addictive substances to cope with their mental problems. Social service professionals usually do not like working with these “dually diagnosed” people because they can be so demanding and time-consuming. They can be too destructive and troubled for the typical addiction recovery program. And, mental health workers shy away from them because they often do not stay sober long enough for treatments to be effective. So, they end up at the rescue mission.
A Christian friend once told me, “Well, why even talk about feelings, because you can’t trust them anyway. The Bible says, Have faith and don’t trust your feelings.” Well, that’s not really a healthy attitude at all, because feelings are real. Denial is all of these repressed and stuffed emotions, and part of sobriety and getting better means that all of a sudden all of the pain that has been pushed down. And anger, and everything else that has been there, is going to start rising to the surface, and these people will start feeling depression and loneliness and fear. And we need to be prepared to hear those things and to respond to them in a supportive, kind way. It doesn’t mean that — and some of those feelings are not accurate at all, but still need to be respected and accepted. It has to be there.

And always, I felt inexplicably sad. Nothing made me happy. Most frightening of all, I made intricate preparations for my death. 1