Incest

Asking for Support: Getting the Help You Need – Part 2

by Dale & Juanita Ryan | see: Part 1

We resist getting help

In spite of the abundance of God’s love and grace and the many ways in which love and grace are available to us, we do not easily reach out for the help we need. Even when we have acknowledged our need for help, we may find ourselves hesitating, finding excuses, resisting. Resistance to getting help is often the result of a mixture of fear and despair and shame.

Fear

It can be frightening to get help. In the process we feel vulnerable and exposed. Jim’s Dad had made cutting remarks about him all his life. Jim was so accustomed to hearing that he was lazy and stupid and irresponsible that every time he shared in his support group, he expected to hear these same hurtful comments in response. Even though people didn’t respond this way, Jim imagined that everyone must be privately thinking these things about him. As a result, he would sometimes begin to share only to freeze with fear and find himself unable to talk.

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Asking for Support: Getting the Help You Need – Part 1

by Dale & Juanita Ryan
See: Part 2 | Part 3

The God of the Bible is a God who saves and heals. The Bible is clear about this: He will deliver the needy who cry out, he will rescue them from oppression and violence. Psalm 72: 12,14) When we see our need, acknowledge our inability to save ourselves, and cry out, God delivers us. God rescues us from oppression and violence. Whether it is the oppression and violence of our compulsions and addictions or the oppression and violence of abuse and neglect, God delivers us and heals us. God is powerful enough and loving enough to deliver us from all of the oppression and violence we face.

This is the good news proclaimed in Scripture. And it is the basis for our hope on the recovery journey. We cannot save ourselves. Or heal ourselves. But God can. And God will.

Sound simple? It turns out to be anything but simple. There are several reasons for this. First, we find it hard to believe that God is

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Rape or Sexual Abuse and the Victim’s Sexual Purity

by Derek Carlsen  »  Bio
Faith For All of Life “Historical Revisionism: Why All the Fuss?”

One of the scourges of our day is the crime of rape or sexual abuse. Many live in fear of becoming the next victim. The horror and trauma of being sexually abused is known firsthand by an excessive number of people. Even worse, the shame and stigma that society associates with such crimes means that the victims suffer in almost solitary confinement. This ought not to be!

My desire in this article is to address the sense of guilt and moral pollution that often attaches to victims of rape or sexual abuse. I believe God’s Word provides instruction so that these victims might be set free from their feelings of guilt and moral pollution (John 8:32). For the church to be able to minister to these victims in a godly way, believers need to have their thinking conformed to the mind of Christ. While what I say will appear obvious, the stigma that too often follows the rape victim shows that the church’s understanding of this matter is in need of reformation. My position comes from my own wrestling with the Scriptures to find healing balm for those who have been sexually violated. There is a great need for it today.

Thesis Stated

If a maiden – that is, a virgin – be raped, believers ought to look upon her and treat her as a virgin. Why? Because, according to Scripture, she is still sexually pure.1 I believe this is what the Scriptures teach. It is then a natural and necessary consequence to apply this same reasoning to other forms of sexual abuse.

Thesis Defended

Scripture teaches, “If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the bride-price of virgins” (Exod. 22:16-17 NKJV).

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Do I need to forgive someone who is not repentant?

Do I need to forgive someone even if it doesn’t seem that he is sorry?

Luke 17:3-4 answers that question this way:

“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

Jesus said that without genuine repentance there is no forgiveness. One example of this principle is when he says:

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation.2 Corinthians 7:10

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Workshop: Father/daughter, Mother/son Relationships

Looking at how the strengths, weaknesses, and dynamics of relationship with our opposite~sexed primary caregiver affects us as we enter adulthood and pair up with a partner.

  • How our earliest relationships affect our mate selection
  • How we learn from that and look for healthier traits in our adult relationships
  • Why we are attracted to certain kinds of people

Lead by Tracy R. Warring Against Relational Sabotage

Host Welcome to the workshop on Father/daughter, Mother/son relationships Workshop Leader will be sharing with you on … Reactive Attachment Disorder and …Looking at how the strengths, weaknesses, and dynamics of relationship with our opposite-sexed primary caregiver affects us as we enter adulthood and pair up with a partner. I will open with prayer..

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Be a Friend to an Abused Woman

1. Please listen to the abused woman.

2. Please don’t blame her for the abuse.

3. Please avoid interrupting her.

4. Please don’t act shocked or doubtful of the truth of her situation.

5. Please pray for her.

6. Please offer her Scripture that comforts and strengthens her.

7. Please let her know that she can call or visit you again.

8. Please share tea or coffee with her to put her at ease.

9. Please find out if she is danger.

10. Please give her the name of the nearest shelter.

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Forgiveness Workshop Transcript

Obie-HostIt is my great pleasure to introduce to you today Yvonne Ortega.She serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery and leads her own ministry which she will tell you about. Today she will be speaking on Forgiveness.

Every time Yvonne leads a workshop we are all greatly blessed by her insights. Let us open in prayer…..

Heavenly Father,
We pray for our workshop leader Yvonne today.Anoint her with the Holy Spirit. Give her Your words of wisdom to share with us —
words of healing. Open our ears, hearts and minds that we are teachable and also open to the Holy Spirit. In the name of Jesus we all pray. Amen.

Yvonne will speak for several minutes and then we will have a question and answer period where you will be able to ask questions. Yvonne, you now have the floor!

Yvonne Thank you.
What does it mean “to forgive”?
It means to give up feeling angry or wanting to punish, to show mercy, to pardon.

Countless adults have told me they can’t forgive themselves. One woman had an abortion and said, “I’m a murderer. I can’t go back to church.”

An alcoholic lost his wife, his children, his job, his car, and his home. His children refused to have anything to do with him. He said, “It’s all my fault for drinking like I did.”

A married woman got drunk and had sex with a male acquaintance. She was beside herself with shame and guilt.

A man fell asleep at the wheel and hit a guardrail. His daughter was thrown from the van and died. He was overwhelmed with grief and beat himself up repeatedly for the loss of his daughter.

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Traumas and Addiction (Workshop Transcript)

Obie-Host: “Welcome to our Workshop on Trauma and Addiction. We will be discussing trauma, abuse and as well as addiction. Would someone like to open us in prayer?”

“Yahweh, thank you so much for the freedom we have to gather together in fellowship with you and each other – Thank you that Yvonne is giving us her time to teach us -Holy Spirit open our eyes and ears – that we may see and hear what you would impart to us today – Have your way – may your will be done. Amen”

Obie-Host:“Welcome everyone to the Workshop on Trauma and Addiction – our leader today is Yvonne Ortega. She has credentials as long as my arm, as well as personal experiences in everything she talks about. Yvonne, please introduce yourself and tell us a bit about yourself.”

“Hi you all! Thank you for having me. It is a blessing to share with you all. Yes, I have credentials, but, I’ve also learned through the school of hard knocks.

Trauma refers to situations in which a person is rendered powerless and great danger is involved. The situations involve death and injury or the possibility of death and injury.
Those events evoke a state of extreme horror, helplessness, and fear. They are events of such intensity and magnitude they would overtax any human being’s ability to cope.

Such events can be childhood physical abuse or sexual abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault and rape, natural catastrophes such as hurricanes and tornadoes, car accidents, war and combat, and a life-threatening disease. Just as the body can be traumatized, so can the psyche.

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PSTD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

** Have you, or someone you love Been through combat?
** Lived through a disaster?
** Been raped?
** Experienced any other kind of traumatic event?

Have you ever thought that painful memories of that experience were still causing problems for you or a loved one?

You may have heard of PTSD—posttraumatic stress disorder—on the news or from friends and family, and wondered what it is, or whether you or someone you know has it. This booklet will help you understand what PTSD is.

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