Overcome

Do You Have a Diligently Kept Heart?

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23

Recently, I caught a documentary about the Japanese film director and animator, Hayeo Miyazaki. He’s creator of anime feature films including, “My Neighbor Totoro” and “The Wind Rises.”

Anyway, during this documentary, Miyazaki talked about his father and the impact he had on his world view:

“Being welcomed instead of being chased out probably shaped the way this man looked at the world.”
~Hayao Miyazaki

The power of this statement hit me. Looking at this man’s countenance, his joyful and peacefully optimistic demeanor shouts the sentiment loud and clear.

As I’ve been in recovery from both my disordered eating/image and abuse issues, I’ve had to look long and hard at the state of my heart. It’s unflattering and painful to do so, yet quite necessary.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalms 139:23-24

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Cross-Addiction: A Way That Seems Right?

Recently, a young girl reached out to me concerning her struggles with disordered eating; she informed me she just took up the habit of smoking.

For what I am doing, I do not understand… The Apostle Paul in Romans 7:15

She’s currently in a facility, being treated for bulimia, a mood disorder and self-injury behavior. I asked her what her treatment center thought about this habit. She told me she thought it was a better action than engaging in the eating disorder and self-injury behaviors.

But, to me, it smacks of cross-addiction. Indeed, someone afflicted with an addiction, obsession or disorder can often become convinced if they just switch it for another passion or behavior, he or she will be fine.

I did this myself.

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Recovery: Practice, Practice, Practice

When I was in kindergarten, I took dance class, with emphasis on ballet and tap. At least once a week, I attended these classes, held in Mrs. Taylor’s basement. My strongest memories were the gigantic black bow pinning the back of her bun hairstyle and the 45 records we were given to practice our routines. I especially remember “Alley Cat” and “Practice, Practice, Practice.” I spent hours in my tap shoes, striving for improvement on a square piece of plywood. After a while, I grew to dislike that song immensely. “Practice,” after all, was tedious, boring and frustrating.

Little did I know, however, so often, would life be as well.

According to the famous myth, the character of Sisyphus was condemned to an eternity of hard labor. For a crime against the gods, his assignment was to roll a great boulder to the top of a hill. Each time he completed this task, requiring tremendous effort, reaching the summit, the boulder rolled back downhill again.

Tedious, boring and frustrating…

I recently came across this famous Margaret Thatcher quote:

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Eating Disorders: It is all about the heart

I admit it. Whenever I hear anyone touting fitness and health, my uneasy radar goes up. As someone in recovery from eating disorders, it’s a sensitive thing. And, for as many people, who, indeed, strive to get healthier for health’s sake, how many others are only looking to lose weight?

And, how many develop disordered eating behaviors and mindsets during that pursuit?

I may come across as overly critical here, but it’s because the issue has hit so close to home. Not only have I personally battled disordered thoughts and behaviors, including anorexia and bulimia, I’ve also seen how it has spread within my family as well.

And, mostly, within that family context, the decision to diet or exercise is born out of a desire to be thin and to lose weight.

As a little girl, that was, indeed, my desire. I wanted to be good, lovable and pretty. And, I believed I wasn’t because of my overweight physique.

I speak about it in my book, Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder.

“…My first diet ended almost when it started, beginning an endless dieting roller-coaster. Diet after diet would start with this angelic-choir Hallelujah moment, followed by this new revelation that ‘This is the diet. Diet ye in it.'”

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The Power of Words

…I am fearfully and wonderfully made…Psalm 139:14


I love E. B. White’s classic, “Charlotte’s Web.” It’s the wonderful children’s story about the relationship between a county fair pig, Wilbur and Charlotte, the farm spider. Perhaps you’ve caught the 1970’s animated film of this sweet story.

Anyway, throughout the tale, there are various life lessons discussed, not the least of which is the self-esteem issue. Wilbur has been challenged in that area. In response to a threat against his life and welfare, as a prized fair pig, ready for slaughter, Charlotte takes it upon herself to write such words as, “Terrific” and “Some Pig” in her webs. These web inscriptions garner much attention and therefore, saved his life.

The power of words. Scripture teaches us about their impact:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21

Indeed.

And it’s no small matter to navigate in life. After all, how many of us have been bullied, teased and abused because of our appearance? For many of us struggling with disordered eating and image issues, many toxic words like “ugly,” “fatso,” and yes, “pig” have been hurled against us. It’s a painful thing to overcome.

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Are You Reactionary or Reflective?

Proverbs 20:5 NRSV
The purposes in the human mind are like deep water,
but the intelligent will draw them out.

As believers, we should ask ourselves whether we are reactionary or reflective? When someone is reactionary, they depend upon their reactions to circumstances or their emotions to make decisions. They have difficulty acting in a prescribed or strategic manner, but rather respond to the situation around them. When someone is reflective, they are self-aware and able to make deliberate decisions based on an outside source (the Word); they are able to withstand influences that come from others or even from their own emotions.

As believers, we need to be reflective. We need to know ourselves, to know what makes us tick, to know what pushes our buttons, and then, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to respond differently than we are inclined. We need to choose our behaviors, rather than allowing ourselves to be pushed and pulled by the circumstance of the moment.

James tells us that there are those believers who cannot control themselves and that this loss of control is due to doubting:

The one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind; for the doubter, being double-minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord. James 1:6-8 NRSV

I agree! When we don’t have a solid idea of where we are headed (heaven) or what we want (God’s will), we will have a tendency to react to circumstances, rather than being reflective and making decisions based on what we have learned from the Word and from the Holy Spirit.

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The Power of His Resurrection

The fact that Jesus Christ rose again from the dead tells us something very important: our God is in the resurrection business. The resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead is declared by St. Paul to be the assurance of our own resurrection on God’s appointed day (1 Cor. 15:12-20).

The goal of our lives therefore should be to know Christ and “the power of his resurrection” (Phil 3:10). This means that we cannot lead defeated lives, nor can we evade our responsibilities under God to bring every area of life and thought into captivity to Jesus Christ.

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The Superstitions of Eating Disorders

“Eating rituals: Refers to compulsive behaviors surrounding eating. When the ritualistic behaviors are interrupted, patients often experience intense anxiety and may refuse to eat at all. Examples of rituals include: weighing and measuring food, sometimes repeatedly, eating specific foods and in a particular order, use of a particular bowl/plate/glass, cutting food into small pieces, disassembling food, eating a rigid amount of calories and stopping once that amount is reached, eating only at specified times. Rituals are often evident in binge eating; such as a specific pattern of purchasing/gathering large quantities of food, which is usually consumed in secrecy during binge episodes. Rituals are also seen in EDNOS and bulimia nervosa. In bulimia, rituals include amassing and ingesting large quantities of food, followed by purging (compensatory behavior), usually in secrecy.” http://glossary.feast-ed.org/2-eating-disorders-symptoms-and-behaviors/eating-rituals

Most of us are aware of the superstition concept. Whether it is such things as the number 13, black cats or the danger of walking under a ladder, there’s the guarantee if we heed a particular superstition in the right way, we will be safe.

It reminded me of eating disorder behavior. Often, the rituals involved can serve as a comforting, protective superstition.

For instance, when I was at the height of my anorexia, each morning, I had an exacting routine, including, but not limited to, physical exercise and diet. Starting out, I prayed each morning to God to die early. I know, morbid. Nevertheless, I had both an overwhelming worst case fear of God and a simultaneous plea of Him for relief. I wanted the pain and the struggle to end. And because of these thoughts, I, likewise, believed if I skipped even one morning of this routine, I’d be eternally doomed.

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You Belong!

The longing to belong is very powerful and foundational to our sense of self. But there is an infinitely greater pull — Father’s. He is constantly seeking us out and calling our heart to his!

“My son, give me your heart.” Proverbs 23:26

When we respond to this call it becomes a homecoming. The prodigal came to himself while slopping hogs and experienced a homecoming that he never imagined possible. How about you? Do you know beyond a shadow of doubt that you belong? Don’t allow anyone to tell you something else.

Make sure no outsider who now follows God ever has occasion to say, “God put me in second-class. I don’t really belong.” Isaiah 56:2 Msg

There are religious outsiders who will judge you. Their only agenda is dissuading your journey to Father’s heart. As a matter of fact they don’t even understand the conversation of the heart. Belonging empowers you to embrace and live in Grace. Belonging is the path to love. And belonging is bigger and louder than the voices of rejection.

To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means. (Brennan Manning)

Even the darker parts of our journey become a homecoming. In the state of belonging we can truly rest. Read the following scriptures and settle in to belonging.

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Are Negative Emotions Controlling You?

Emotions play a big role in our life. They are active and alive twenty-four hours a day, even in our dreams. Emotions literally tell us what to do with our marriage, family, job, career, self, and how we love others. If we don’t control the course that our emotions run, we might be heading down the road towards destruction.

Are you allowing emotions to control your life?

When was the last time you got angry? What do you do when your friend turns their back on you? What do you do when your spouse disrespects you? What do you do when your children continue to misbehave?

What happens if your emotions tell you that you don’t love your spouse anymore? What are you going to do? Do you let jealousy and resentment tell you what to do in certain circumstances?

Before we can understand the full potential of our self and our emotions we need to understand a little bit about who we are, and why we do and say the things we do. How do we handle our selves with certain issues and particular circumstances?

What do we do when conflict rears its ugly head in our marriage? We get emotional, right? We lash out with anger, or we clam up in resentment, or express our self improperly. Are we letting our emotions rule our marriage, our self, and our life?

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