Guidance

Loving Your Alcoholic Wife

If anyone knows what it’s like to live with an alcoholic wife it would be my husband, who for several years, battled with my addiction with me. That’s right, he battled alcoholism with me. Because I have been sober for fifteen years I can write about addiction with confidence. Alcoholism is a family affair and without knowing how to handle addiction, being married to an alcoholic is an ongoing battle. It does not matter who is the alcoholic, wife or husband – what matters is how you handle the affects. If your wife is an alcoholic there is great hope in her recovery by how you manage the addiction.

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The Alcoholic Christian

Alcoholism is running rampant today, even in Christian’s homes! Scripture tells us we are not to get drunk on too much wine because it causes sin. But the bible says a believer in Christ is saved through the death of Jesus. Does that mean the alcoholic Christian is saved too? Understand that living a righteous life in Jesus Christ is what gives the Christian eternal life. Being “saved” is a rebirth process and lifestyle change from walking in darkness to walking in the light. Do you think an alcoholic walks in the light or in the dark? Ok, then, there’s your answer.

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Ephesians 5:18 NIV

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He is an Alcoholic and Asked Me to Marry Him. What Can I Expect?

Ask Angie: The alcoholic man I love, is kind, smart, funny and spiritual. He has to drink most days. He can’t have 1 or 2 beers. When he drinks, he drinks until he is drunk. Then he becomes the other man I live with. Verbally demanding to the point of abuse. He complains he does not get enough attention or sex, that he needs it every day. I love him, but I am worn out. My friends and family think he is a great man. He works hard, he loves his children and me more than anything…. he has only 1 fault… he is an alcoholic. He has asked me to marry him… I can’t commit until he proves our relationship comes first, not alcohol. I have detached. I don’t argue or fuss. I just calmly just let him know that I will marry him, when “he” is ready.

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What Do Couples Need From Each Other In Marriage?

What does a wife need from her husband? I can’t answer that question for all women, but I do know what I need. I need my husband to be supportive of my endeavors and ideas. I want my husband to realize that the marriage does not center only around him and what he needs, but on what we both need. I want for my husband to make time for me. I want to be put on the top of his priority list, after God, and not on the bottom. Does that sound selfish? It’s not selfish when you know that he gets the same treatment from me.

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Why Do Marriages Fail?

Marriages do not fail; it is the people in marriage that fail. God would never design a marriage program that failed. God is perfect and He has established perfection in marriage. Marriages fail because we are not taking responsibility for ourselves in the marriage. If we don’t work the program, we won’t know what to do when trouble strikes, and ultimately we will fail the marriage class.

Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. Proverbs 8:33,34 NIV

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The “Musts” of the Big Book

The following are quotes from the book Alcohlics Anonymous (also known as The Big Book).

“Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.” Big Book, page 164

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How Can I Trust My Husband Again?

Ask Angie: I am finding it hard to trust my husband again. We’ve been married for 31 years. this Valentine’s day and in year 28 I found out he was heavily into drugs, which he now claims to be free of, but I still have a hard time believing him because of the extent he wants to hide his use. All the lies, deceit, and now the unwillingness to discuss it with me, leaves me with many unanswered questions.

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How Can We Balance Recovery and Our Marriage?

Ask Angie: Hello friend in Christ…just wanted to tell you my husband and I have been having issues for a while now. He is in recovery and I am not (although I am not an addict) I need Alanon in my life but find it hard to arrange a ride (no car) and sitter for my 6 yr. old. My husband lives three houses away from our home. I try not to hassle him about time with us but he seems to need time with the AA family more and we really need him to show us emotionally he cares to keep the family together too. I understand he has to stay sober to be a dad/husband of any kind, but to me there is a huge vacancy in our life. I love him with all my heart. We need counseling terribly and church makes me so happy. I’m without a vehicle so life is kind of challenging now.

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Living with an Alcoholic: A Healthy Detachment

The best thing you can do when dealing with an alcoholic spouse is to detach from the abuse of the alcoholic. You can do this if you truly love your spouse and want to help them to possible sobriety. The more you focus all your energies on the alcoholic, the less likely he is to get sober. This article focuses on how you can detach and remain healthy mentally.

Don’t Make Alcoholism Your Problem

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