Guidance

Jairus’ Daughter – a Bible Story that Sparked My Eating Disorder Recovery

Could a simple Bible story spark eating disorder recovery? Well, for me, it did. The account of Jairus’ daughter, found in Mark 5:35-43, became the catalyst to hope, life, freedom, and yes, my recovery. I chronicle my eating disorder odyssey, recovery included, in my book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder.” From this scriptural passage, I encountered tangible proof that God’s Word was relevant and applicable. I learned some good news, all right.

Nothing’s too difficult; no one’s too impossible for God.
I saw that in Jairus’ daughter. I have, likewise, seen it in my own life, as well as the lives of others. And this simple Bible story is now a declaration of hope to all young girls and women, dealing with eating disorders, food, weight and body image issues. You, too, can arise!

    “Little girl, I say unto you, arise.” Mark 5:41

I had done and been so many horrible things. As far as I was concerned, I was on my way to hell. But I couldn’t shake the thoughts of this story. Was there hope that I wasn’t doomed after all?

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Professional Distance in Addiction Counseling

Sooner or later, every counselor will face the fact that he or she is not able to help everyone who becomes involved with their program. Recovery programs can have a very high turnover rate among their residents. Among rescue mission workers, some have reacted to this situation by becoming discouraged, “burned out,” or even skeptical about the chances of any homeless addict “making it.”

Why Professional Distance is Needed
Often, when people first hear the term “professional distance”, they think it means are to be cold, unloving and uninvolved with those we counsel. Actually, it is just the opposite! Over involvement on an emotional level causes counselors to lose their objectivity. They cannot exercise proper judgment in their dealings with those with whom they are seeking to help. Instead, counselors can practice favoritism toward some residents and even end up feeling rejected by them when they don’t respond favorably to their attempts to help them.Mostly, a lack of professional distance is manifested when workers have an improper sense of responsibility for the actions and decisions of their clients. And, it is important to remember that, since so many of those we work with at rescue missions have a background of addiction and codependency, they know how to make others feel guilty about not “taking care of them.”Mission workers must be committed to being part of the solution and not a part of the problem. Their own unresolved issues will inevitably hinder their ability to minister effectively to others.

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Understanding and Living our Relationships According to God

… diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Who do we have relationships with? What are our most important relationships? How should we handle our relationships with others? Is our interaction with others pleasing to God?

Who do we have relationships with?

    1. God/Christ
    2. Spouse
    3. Children
    4. Extended family (parents, grandparents, uncles, nieces — etc)
    5. Friends
    6. Co-workers and acquaintances

What are our most important relationships? (In this order)

    1. God / Jesus Christ
    2. Spouse
    3. Children
    4. Family
    5. Friends/Others

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Married to an Unbelieving Alcoholic

Ask Angie: My husband is an alcoholic. Although I have committed to staying with him, I can’t help but regard him with disgust even AFTER he’s been drinking. Thanks to the biblical principles you teach, I’m learning how to detach when he’s drinking, but in the days following a drinking binge I don’t feel any affection for him. In the early days of our marriage (we’ve been married 20 years), I was able to warm up to him once the drinking passed. Now I am just filled with disgust. Please give me some advice. Thank you.

Marriage Guidance: We commend you for your commitment to your marriage. This shows your love for God and your willingness to please Him and do His will. You are an inspiration for others who are living with an alcoholic spouse.

Your feelings are understandable seeing that some alcoholics can be sloppy in behavior and unclean in appearance and habits. The behaviors and appearance of the alcoholic can cause much resentment build up, which is what’s happening with you. You are just now learning to detach and part of detachment is separating the alcoholic behaviors and sickness from the person you met, loved and married. When we allow the alcoholic behaviors to overtake our own thoughts we will become disgusted and resentful over the alcoholic, even during bouts of sobriety.

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Another Look at Codependency

Some who work in the recovery field are hindered in their efforts to minister to others because of their own codependency. Here are a few common symptoms experienced by these “wounded warriors”:


Inability to detach. Staff members who lack personal acceptance and a good self concept tend to look to their clients for affirmation and a sense of worth. They take their work home with them and tend to feel terribly guilty and personally responsible when a client leaves the mission and messes up his or her life.

Caretaking & Enabling. They do not allow their clients to become responsible for their own actions and attitudes. Instead, they cover up for them, make excuses, and blameshift. By doing this, they become “enablers”, allowing people then to stay in their sins, addictions, and other problems.

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Organizing the Addiction Counseling Process – Part 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

In our last installment in this series we discussed, briefly, the importance of meeting the needs of each individual in the recovery program. To do this most effectively, a process of documentation is essential, using paper forms or computer-based data collection. In residential recovery programs for the homeless, it is also important to adopt a team approach to working with our clients.


    A. Developing a system of documentation.
    The essential elements include:

      Regularly updated recovery plans/contracts
      Daily progress notes
      Summaries of one-on-one counseling sessions

    When all of these elements are in place, supervisors can get a good picture of what each counselor or chaplain is doing with each of the individuals with whom he or she is assigned work. Besides serving as a measure of job performance, proper documentation makes it easier for another counselor to step in and keep working with the client if that is necessary. Good documentation provides a permanent record that can be accessed if the individual leaves the program and returns at a later date. And, it provides valuable information that may be used by other ministries or agencies that work with the client in the future.

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Organizing the Addiction Counseling Process – Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 5

Most rescue recovery programs for homeless addicts have no trouble filling up their beds. Yet, it is better to have a smaller program with committed participants than to have a large one filled with people who are not serious about changing their lives. A well-organized long-term recovery program is — “A planned, organized, and systematic delivery of services — using both internal and external resources– with the goal of meeting the unique needs of each individual.”

A 30-day “pre-program” can be instituted to serve as a trail period where prospective program members can demonstrate their commitment to recovery. Inevitably, this approach will promote stability in the long-term program by avoiding the turmoil that occurs when men and women come and stay for just a few days or weeks. A more consistent, serious group of people who can support one another on the road to recovery will surely develop.

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Organizing the Addiction Counseling Process – Part 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5

Because they do not receive government and insurance monies, rescue missions that serve the homeless are not bound to strict time limits on the days of service they can render. There is no magic to 30-day, 90-day 120-day programs. These have always been set by the people who provided the dollars.

That’s why I recommend a program for homeless addicts that is based totally on accomplishing a set of treatment goals — instead of one based on the calendar. Still, there are some special considerations for the first 30 days of sobriety to which we need to pay special attention. If we make a special effort to help a newly recovering people through them, more of them will stay around longer and go forward in recovery. A “pre-program” program has definite advantages.

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Organizing the Addiction Counseling Process – Part 2

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

In this installment, I would explore a very basic question; “Just what can we expect to accomplish in the life of a homeless addict during their stay at a rescue mission program?” The answer comes from recognizing some basic needs that need to be addressed so those we work can develop productive, satisfying sober lives.

The answer comes from recognizing some basic needs that need to be addressed so those we work can develop productive, satisfying sober lives. The goal of a written recovery plan is to set down these goals, in order of priority, and then develop a strategy for working through them while in the program. This plan, then, becomes the basic road map for the counseling process with the individual. Weekly one-on-one sessions should always begin with revisiting the written plan and discovering what progress has been made toward accomplishing its jointly agreed upon goals

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