Guidance

On Stormy Waters?

(Based on Matthew 14:22-34)

Experienced fishermen shuddered when the wind howled out of the mountains and onto the sea. Then the waves became choppy and unpredictable. Men who worked these waters knew to haul their sails and make for harbor.

But sometimes-and this night was one of them-high seas would not permit sailors to gain the shore.

The small boat circled the middle of the sea, an eerie spot, wild, unsettled, dangerous-and according to some reports-haunted. In watery graves below lay the sailors’ fellow fishermen waiting for them to join them, their boats reduced to waterlogged splinters,their bones picked clean by the same denizens of the deep they had come to harvest.

By three in the morning, as a false dawn dimly lit the sky, the men had been pulling on the oars for hours against the wind. No nearer shore, shelter, or sanctuary, exhaustion was setting in.

Then one man caught a glimpse of something unsettling on the seas. For a few moments, a trough obscured his vision, and while he waited for the lift of the next wave, he pondered whether he was seeing things. When the wave lofted them upward, he looked steadily over his shoulder. There it was again!

He gave a shriek of terror and pointed as the boat was again swallowed by a curl of water.

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What Happens if I Relapse?

You have not failed because you relapse. You are normal because you relapse. We all have relapsed when trying to find our way out of the alcohol and drug trap. Never allow a relapse to discourage you from coming to sobriety. As a matter of fact, when we succumb to our addictions we can actually learn from them. Most of us fall back on our addictions for many reasons and here are three of those reasons. See if they ring a chord with you as well.

Not Committed

The first reason is because we just weren’t ready in our heart to stop the addiction – we felt anxious and fearful being without our best friend, and so our uncommitted heart caved in under pressure. We have all done it. Think of addiction as a “hard to break bad habit.” But don’t fret too much over it. Just because you’re not ready to quit now, certainly does not mean that you won’t be committed later. Keep trying and don’t give up!

Have you ever listened to the little voice in your head telling you that your addiction is ok? You know the voice – the reliable little guy that keeps telling you reasons why it’s okay to keep feeding your addiction. It goes something like this. “I’m not really addicted, I can stop at anytime” or about this one. “If I was not married to so and so, I would not need to drink anymore.” We have all heard this one. “My life is just too stressful and I only need it to unwind.” We hear the voice and we listen because the voice is a symptom of addiction.

Same Friends – Same Places

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Panic Attacks and Addiction

Have you ever felt panicky and afraid? Your breathing becomes erratic and your heart beats in flutters and moves about wildly in your chest. It feels like you might be having a heart attack. It’s probably not a heart attack, but a panic attack. You can tell the difference. During a real heart attack, the primary symptom is a crushing sensation inside the chest that causes a person to double up in pain. Panic attacks do not hurt physically. During a panic attack, the heart beats rapidly and you may even be able to hear your own heartbeat.

Panic attacks are scary because you don’t know what is going on with your body. I know a little bit about panic attacks because I used to get them periodically. The first time I ever had a panic attack, my dad called an ambulance because he thought I was having a stroke or heart attack. Panic attacks are not a serious health threat, and they have nothing to do with the health of your heart.

Some people may not get full-blown panic attacks, but might feel anxious, nervous or fearful instead. The good news is, panic attacks can be completely eliminated from your life for good by getting to the bottom of why you may feel panicky and or anxious in the first place. Panic attacks are only a symptom of something going awry with your emotions and, or physical health.

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Do You Love an Alcoholic? Setting Boundaries

Loving an alcoholic is not about taking care of them, but about taking care of you. You have a responsibility to protect yourself from any of the alcoholic’s negative and destructive behavior. Setting boundaries for you is how to become healthy, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You may have to change a few personal things and schedules around the house a bit to accommodate your boundaries, but this is how you protect yourself from the insidious disease of alcoholism. All the boundaries I suggest are always detaching from the alcoholic in a loving way.

Don’t be around the alcoholic when they are drinking. Does this sound difficult to do. Well it isn’t if you have your own bedroom, or other room, with a television, desk, phone, cell phone, laptop, etc. Be prepared to leave any room the alcoholic is drinking in. When the alcoholic asks you why you are leaving the room, let them know the truth; you are powerless to control their behavior and you do not want to be around them while they are drinking; it’s as simple as that. You are taking care of you!

Don’t argue, plead, or yell at the alcoholic no matter how difficult it gets. This is what the alcoholic wants you to do. If you argue, fuss and fight, it takes the focus off of them and their drinking and on to you. See how that works? This is how the alcoholic drives you into the disease with them. Every time you try and control the alcoholic through words or argument, you actually lose the battle; they won! You stay in control by staying silent. You are in control when the alcoholic wants you to argue with them, but you walk away instead. This is taking care of you!

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New, Cool Eating Disorder. Healthy Or Orthorexic?

In the November 2014 issue of Harper’s Bazaar UK, actress, Jennifer Lawrence took aim at the Hollywood trend of gluten-free diets. She called them the “New, Cool Eating Disorder.”

Our society has become obsessed with healthy living, often to the point of being un-healthy. We now live in a culture of low calorie, low carbohydrate, low fat and high protein diets, along with sugar free and gluten free options to boot. But are these lifestyle approaches healthy… or something else?

When we hear the words “eating disorder, ” we most often think of anorexia or bulimia. But there’s another more subtle form also out there: Orthorexia.

According to Timberline Knolls Eating Disorder Treatment Center’s website:

“A person with orthorexia will be obsessed with defining and maintaining the perfect diet, rather than an ideal weight. He/She will fixate on eating foods that give him/her a feeling of being pure and healthy. An orthorexic may avoid numerous foods, including those made with:

  • Artificial colors, flavors or preservatives
  • Pesticides or genetic modification
  • Fat, sugar or salt
  • Animal or dairy products
  • Other ingredients considered to be unhealthy

In addition, orthorexia’s behaviors also include:

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Our Anchor In Every Storm

When we feel the stress of the storm we learn the STRENGTH of the anchor!

…we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil…. Hebrews 6:18-19 NASB

1. Mark’s gospel describes the disciples’ vivid lesson about who Jesus is and what He can do. While they were frantically trying to save a sinking boat, Jesus was asleep. Didn’t He care that they were all about to die? (v.38). After Jesus calmed the storm (v.39), He asked the penetrating question, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” (v.40). Then they were even more afraid, exclaiming to each other, “Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!” (v.41).

2. Thank you Lord Jesus for giving me a ‘safe dwelling place’ during life’s storms. Without your comfort, and calming effect on my heart, I would be lost and scared. Thank you Lord for guiding me through a life that I don’t need to be afraid of. With You by my side, I can withstand any and all of life’s storms.

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I Have No Idea Where I am Going (Prayer)

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,

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My Husband is Looking at Porn. What Should I Do?

Ask Angie: Angie, my husband is a Christian, and I just found out that he has been looking at porn on the Internet for about a month. How do I have a relationship with him after this? We went through this when we first got married 19 years ago…I don’t think I can do it again!

Marriage Guidance: You have to see your husband underneath the cloak of this addiction. Addiction is not who he is but what he has allowed to filter into his heart and mind. You need to pray about his recovery and ask God to give you the strength to get through these hard times in your marriage. Some husbands lie to themselves and believe its ok to look at naked women and men. But the truth is its not ok if you have stopped enjoying your wife. It’s not ok if you look forward to viewing women on the Internet instead of the woman you married and that God has blessed you with. It would be a good idea to print this marriage column out and read through it with your husband. Work together on this issue by being supportive and encouraging. Try and be your husbands other half (help mate) rather than an antagonist. You both need to sit down and talk through this with respect and consideration of each others feelings. Some husbands are in denial and believe they don’t have a problem with porn. But since you said your husband is a Christian or trying to be a Christian then he is not in denial and should work towards inner healing. Help him do that.

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Looking for God’s Answers To Our Prayers

1. “Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you.” Such longings and prayers are sincere and God loves them and loves to answer them. We do not know ourselves very well, nor the depth or pervasiveness of our sin, nor what it really requires of us in order to receive what we ask for.

2. We can’t help but have unreal, romantic imaginations and expectations about what God’s answers to our prayers will be. We are often unprepared for the answers we receive from God. They are not what we expect and we often do not see how they correspond to our prayers. Prayer does effect what God does! This is so important for you to grasp! God will do things when we pray that He will not do if we don’t pray!

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Signs of Spiritual Attack

We have a very real enemy, Satan, who wants nothing more than to destroy our lives, our thoughts, our walks with Jesus (John 10:10). He, along with his hoard of demons,
roams the earth, seeking ways to wreak havoc on God’s kingdom (1 Peter 5:8).

Many Christians seem to be blindsided by Spiritual Attacks. When it comes to a spiritual attack, it is crucial to recognize the warning signs for survival:-

1. Loss of spiritual desire.
The goal of any spiritual attack is to turn you away from what God wants to do in your life. That is why the first warning sign of attack is a loss of spiritual desire.

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