Couples who reject each other’s feelings are probably not very good communicators. Part of the communication process is to accept what our spouse has to say, whether we agree with them or not. It is perfectly okay to disagree with your spouse but to do it in a way that doesn’t put them down in the process. Understand that acceptance is not the same thing as agreeing. For instance, you can accept another person’s faith but that does not mean you have to agree with it.
Feelings and thoughts on different issues and on all levels are important and appropriate for a person to feel and to express to others. But many times, couples poke fun of each other’s feelings, and that makes for a communication break down. If you are the kind of person who often rejects or laughs at your spouse’s feelings then eventually they may be afraid to speak up and say how they feel, about anything. Every time you reject your spouse’s opinion or feelings, you are essentially rejecting them. It is like telling them their opinions are not good enough, and do not matter. Do you know what that does to their confidence level, let alone their self esteem?
Are you not at all curious as to why your spouse might feel differently than you on a subject? Instead of rejecting your spouses feelings and opinions why don’t you ask them “why” they feel a certain way about an issue so you can understand their viewpoint better. Don’t be afraid to find out that there is more than one way to view issues in life. Tolerance and appreciation are vital to a healthy communication between couples.
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)
Next time you feel like intercepting your spouse’s feelings with your own, think about the long-term consequences and the undue pain you might be giving to your spouse. Here are a few things you can try next time you feel like interjecting with your own opinions and thoughts.
Explain yourself in an appropriate manner first before butting in with your own opinions. Accept what your spouse has to say by letting them know that their feelings and opinions do matter and are appreciated but that you tend to differ on the issue. Don’t tell them they are wrong to feel the way they do. If it is something that is not a fact but an opinion, then how can their opinion be wrong anyway? If there is fact to back up the issue then bring it out in the open in a good way; don’t throw the error in your spouse’s face; be loving and kind.
I encourage you to continue learning to love the person you married. The process takes you through your mistakes, which ultimately makes you a better marriage partner in the long run. Stay steadfast in the promise you started and work on what you have been blessed with. This is what God wants you to accomplish in your marriage. Ask Him and you shall receive even more blessings from above.
Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brother kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1:5-8)