Unbelieving Spouse and Marriage - Christians in Recovery

I am a Christian but I am married to an unbeliever for almost 7 months. My husband left home about 4 months ago. God wants to restore my marriage?

Marriage Guidance: You’re right. God does want to restore your marriage. So please print this marriage column out and read it with your husband so you both can be responsible for your “part” in the marriage. Let’s start from the beginning.

Since we know that it is God that does all of these things then we know that we need to go to Him with our marriage problems. So then how do we go to God with our marriage problems, you may be wondering? We have several outlets available to us for seeking God for daily guidance.

Communicate With God Through Prayer

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16

We can ask God for our hearts desired, but that doesn’t mean we’ll automatically receive what we ask for. Often times we pray only when we need something. This is praying selfishly. We don’t realize that we are doing this, but some of us have been taught to pray for ourselves rather than others. Its not that we shouldn’t pray for ourselves but marriage, for instance is not just about us, so why only pray for what we want and need?

Perhaps we pray for God to make us feel better instantly. Or we pray that God do something to change our spouse so we can be happy. Sometimes we pray for money and gifts to come into our lives, is that right? Why do these kinds of prayers go unanswered? Because we aren’t praying for God’s will for our lives. These kinds of prayers are not prayers that help us to get to know our Savior. What does God want for you? What does God want for your marriage? This is how we should pray.

Prayer is one of the best ways to become closer with God and develop a growing relationship with Him. But when we pray selfishly God isn’t going to make us feel better instantly, or He isn’t going to change our spouse to make us happy, and He certainly isn’t going to let us win the lottery.

Have we ever asked ourselves “what does God want for my marriage”? Have we ever prayed and asked God what is His will for our marriage? Probably not, and that’s the problem. You see God wants to heal our spouse, not change our spouse so we can be happy. God wants us to feel better, but sometimes we have to ride out the bad with the good so we can learn from our mistakes—this is what makes us stronger people in Him. God wants to give us all of His blessings when He knows that we won’t take those blessings for granted.

God certainly wants us to pray for our marriage but not from our own will (selfishly) but from His will. God wants us to pray for our spouse not for ourselves. God wants us to go to Him and seek out His will for our lives. Then our prayers will be answered!

What Is Gods Will For Your Marriage?

Knowing that these things are God’s will for marriage, how will you pray now? How about something like this. “God please help my husband and I to always seek your will for our lives, and to seek your perfect teachings for our marriage”. “God, please help us to get to know you better, so we will only put our trust in YOU for our marriage.” Amen!

Read and Search The Bible For Answers and Truth

Trust is a big issue in many marriages. Before we can trust our spouse again many steps must be gone through. The first step is forgiveness. We know what the bible says about forgiveness, don’t we. So then are we living out our life doing our will (unforgiveness) or God’s will (forgiveness)? It’s hard to forgive isn’t it? But if we know that our spouse has repented and turned from the sin, then we have to forgive so we can move on!

The principle here is to “forgive so God will forgive you”. That makes sense, doesn’t it? Think about this for just a moment. You don’t want to forgive your spouse for something they have turned their back on, but you expect God to forgive you your sins? I’m crinkling my nose now because such a thing is not possible according to God. In fact this kind of attitude is quite pigheaded, isn’t it?

For if you forgive me when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

The bible has lots and lots of good advice and teachings on forgiveness. Pray about these principles and truths and then ask God to help you with implementing them into your heart and into your marriage. If you want trust and the bond between your spouse to come back into the marriage you have to let the hurt go and learn to forgive. Let the bible become your guide. The bible has the answers! God has the answers!

Seek Encouragement From Godly People

For encouragement we can talk with others whom we know that we can trust. Marriage is going to have good days and some bad days. I wish they could all be good days but that wouldn’t be reality. For those days when we need that extra support we can read inspirational articles, books, and ebooks. We can talk with other who seek their own life answers from God. We can get close and communicate with God through our prayers. Remember it is His will and not our own we should be praying for. The focus is to keep our marriage based on God’s teachings by making God a priority in the marriage.

Yes, God wants to restore your marriage but he needs your help!