If you really want to save your marriage, you must start with a clean slate. That means to get rid of the worldly attitudes and practices that have polluted your marriage and follow God’s plan for your marriage instead. We’re so used to treating our marriage like everyone else does, or the way we were taught, or from what we think is the right way to handle it, but look where all that has gotten many of our marriages of today.
We have to change our attitude. Why is it so difficult for people to recognize the need for God’s design in their marriage? I think it is because of lack of faith. If we had more faith in the power of Christ working in our lives we would be applying Christ’s principles into our marriage. We have to change the way our heart thinks. We do this by asking God into our lives and letting His ways be our guide.
Reality dictates that a person can never truly change themselves for their spouse and so going to marriage gurus for advice usually doesn’t work. They tell us what we need to do to change something about ourselves for our spouse. But it won’t work! We have to go to God! For example: If a spouse is acting immorally do you think they can change themselves to not behave in that way just because their spouse has asked them to? I don’t think it will work in the long run. If it doesn’t come from the heart of the doer than how can they change?
But when we know and study God’s Word and change our own patterns and negative attitudes for ourselves we help pull the marriage back together. It’s not that we don’t want to be good spouses—its just that because as imperfect as we are, we still need God in our lives to help us lead a Godly life. He is our Source for everything! Christian living is not about going to church once a week it is a lifestyle, and we have to change our ungodly ways because we love God with all of our heart, mind, and soul.
God gives us the power through the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ to lead our lives with wisdom and righteousness. But if we are too proud to go to God with our attitudes and ungodly ways, we’ll never have a clean slate. We’ll never learn how to perceive how marriage is supposed to be based on the One who created it, because we’re so busy creating our marriage the way we think it ought to be!! In other words, we’re managing our marriage, which was created and established by God without God! Can that be possible?
Marriage absolutely needs a firm foundation for support but if the foundation is rocky with wayward patterns, views, and attitudes it will eventually come tumbling down. For instance if a wife or a husband make their career more important than each other, the marriage will obviously be supported on the “Me, Me, Me attitude”. They don’t realize that making a career more important—working longer hours for more money is not the way to having a happy marriage. It is the opposite way to be happy in marriage.
We have to keep our focus on Jesus and then make changes in ourselves and for the marriage—otherwise it won’t work and your marriage will end up with the rest of the divorce statistics. You can start with a clean slate by giving up old behaviors and patterns. Give your old attitude to God. Let Him bury it for you. Then ask Jesus Christ into your marriage and make Him and His principles the most important part of your life.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10