First of all let me say this, I don’t condone adultery. And just because it is forgivable by God, if a spouse repents and turns from their sin, doesn’t make it justifiable in any way shape or form. Infidelity always hurts someone and causes much unneeded animosity between couples. It’s best to be healthy minded spiritually and mentally so you won’t be tempted by lustful desires in the first place. But unfortunately many Christians today are not keeping as spiritually fit as they should.
I got an email yesterday by a grieving man who couldn’t understand how I could write articles on forgiving a spouse of adultery. He is still going through such a hard time of it, trying to forgive his wife, which at this stage of his grieving, would be worse than death itself. He is in the denial stage of forgiveness. Anger keeps us living in our horrid feelings and we deny forgiveness even exists. But the fact is, if Jesus would forgive adultery then we as believers need to do the same.
I explain to couples all the time about the basic principles on how to forgive their spouse of adultery. Why do I do this? Why do I waste my time on trying to explain to people how to forgive when they are in so much pain and suffering? I do it because it is scriptural! It’s not about what I write in my articles and books. I don’t tell people to forgive, God does! What I write comes from the word of God. If you see my opinion in an article I will usually say, “I believe”, or “I think.”
Just last week I get an email from someone who wants me to tell them it’s okay for them to divorce their husband or wife because of unfaithfulness. But I don’t give them what they want. I don’t tell them what their ears want to hear because that is not what scripture says. Many times I have to tell people things that they don’t want to hear.
Infidelity is not a loophole for divorce! (Matthew 5:31-32) (Matthew 19:3-12) (Mark 10: 2-10) (Luke 16:15-18) (Romans 7:2-3) (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
I would never advise anyone to divorce his or her spouse because of infidelity. That is not what the bible says! I don’t have this Christian marriage ministry to make friends. I have been given this marriage ministry to help people! In my articles on forgiveness I show couples how to forgive and work on healing themselves and restoring their marriage.
Adultery is common in Christian homes today and it is because they are not interacting with God about these moral issues but are relying upon their own understanding of things, which is most likely, based upon their feelings and what feels good. Most of these individuals are not bad people; they have only gotten lax with their beliefs and spiritual efforts in Christ Jesus. As Christian’s, don’t forget, we are the example to everyone else; isn’t that important to you? The Christian life is not about going after what WE desire; at least it isn’t for the believer. Christ Ones have a responsibility to Him that overshadows everything else. The believer has a responsibility to God before anything else in his life. If a Christian is not FIRST living up to his or her responsibilities in Christ, then how can you expect him to be responsible in his or her marriage? It isn’t going to happen! For the Christian, there is only one way and that is God’s way.
Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him. John 14:21 NIV