Relationships & Codependency

If you are having problems in a relationship, you may want to consider and ask yourself these questions:

    1. Does this person respect me?

    2. Is this a person I can really communicate with?

    3. Do we resolve conflicts well?

    4. Do we both compromise in a healthy give and take?

    5. Do we both take responsibility for the relationship's successes and problems?

    6. Is there room for me to grow and change in this relationship?

    7. Am I able to reach my own goals within this relationship?

    8. Can I be honest and share my true feelings?

    9. And last, but most important, is this a relationship that God can, and would, bless? Codependency involves a habitual system of thinking, feeling, and behaving toward ourselves and others that can cause pain. Codependent behaviors or habits are self-destructive.

The following are characteristics of codependent persons:

Care Taking
Codependents may,

    1. Think and feel responsible for other people---for other people's feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being, lack of well-being, and ultimate destiny.
    2. Feel anxiety, pity, and guilt when other people have a problem. 3. Feel compelled --almost forced -- to help that person solve the problem, such as offering unwanted advice, giving a rapid-fire series of suggestions, or fixing feelings.
    4. Feel angry when their help isn't effective.
    5. Anticipate other people's needs
    6. Wonder why others don't do the same for them.
    7. Don't really want to be doing, doing more than their fair share of the work, and doing things other people are capable of doing for themselves.
    8. Not knowing what they want and need, or if they do, tell themselves what they want and need is not important.
    9. Try to please others instead of themselves.
    10. Find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others rather than injustices done to themselves.
    11. Feel safest when giving.

Other characteristics include:
Low Self Worth
Repression
Obsession
Need to Control
Denial
Dependency
Poor Communication
Weak Boundaries
Lack of Trust
Anger
Sex Problems

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