What Was I Thinking?

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child... 1 Corinthians 13:11


Many of us, looking back on childhood photos, stare in horror at our various hairstyle and clothing choices. Sometimes, they were made by our family members; sometimes, they were made by us.

Regardless, with hindsight, we reach the conclusion, "what was I thinking?"

Complicating that question further, is the reconciliation/forgiveness/better choices we embark on as we proceed with our lives.

It starts by acknowledging and applying the wrap-around scriptures, encasing 1 Corinthians 13:11...

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 1 Corinthians 13:9-10

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

These scriptures require us to admit we won't get every answer we want in this life. And, if there are challenging issues like abuse and addiction involved, answers, indeed, will not come completely and satisfactorily.

Dr. Maya Angelou once stated:

"When you know better, you do better."

But this is not a cut and dry reality. For life, as we know it, is not ideal. Therefore, realization and recovery are often slow and gradual. Answers and healing often come at a more delayed pace than we'd like for them to occur.

Try as we might, we just cannot rush the process of healing, revelation and individual process.

I know; it's maddening.

But Jesus, Himself, spoke of giving us what we think we want before we're ready to experience it...

But Jesus answered and said, "Ye know not what ye ask. Are ye able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of, and to be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?..." Matthew 20:22; Mark 10:38

"I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now." John 16:12

Indeed, most of us think we're more prepared, mature and ready for what we define as "blessings" to be released in our lives.

But, just like we go back and look at our baby pictures, with their questionable hairstyles and wardrobe choices, now knowing we'd make much different decisions, do we, likewise, REALLY have enough hindsight, let alone, wisdom and maturity to make the correct choices when it involves the significant things in our lives?

I think not.

Again, it's maddening.

But, if we desire any measure of peace and, yes, blessing, we need to allow for the mystery of God's tailored, unique process unfolding in our lives.

We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God-those whom he has called according to his plan. Romans 8:28

"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come." John 16:13

It's not on our impatience timetable; rather, it's God's perfect, wise and loving plan. We are being led; we are being guided. That reality, however, does not automatically mean we will get everything our way, according to our specifications.

But what we will get is what we need - and it will be right - for us.

And, for each of us, that means putting away childish things; it means growing up.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13:11

We all have a ways to go in this area.

So, on the childish scale, where do you fall?

We don't need to remain in our baby clothes, in our childish pigtails. We can grow up. We can get better.

It is our decision.

Do we want to stay stuck as an unruly child, or, do we want to say, in our continuing lives and circumstances, "when I was a child?"

It's up to us.


Copyright by Sheryle Cruse.
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Sheryle is the author of
Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder.
Visit her web site: http://www.freewebs.com/daughterarise

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