Spiritual Wellbeing

Know the Difference: Healthy or Unhealthy Support System?

"Know the difference between those who stay to feed the soil and those who come to grab the fruit."


This sobering statement recently came to my attention. I don't know who originally said it, but it resonates, all the same.

It has personally factored in heavily as I have learned, firsthand, who was a part of my healthy support system...and who was NOT.

Indeed, this concept plays a MAJOR role for each of us as we navigate our addiction/recovery journeys. It is usually not too long in life, before we encounter the all too common cliché dysfunction of co-dependency, narcissism and/or exploitation.

Uncomfortable Silence is a Teacher Too

Recovery-from much of anything - is often not done in the steady hum of encouragement. It's frequently done in intimidating quiet. Even with support groups, sponsors, treatment centers, churches and any number of "support structures," we are still left with our true selves. And, no matter what affirmations we have heard and learned, we alone are left to apply them. There is no uplifting outside cheerleader. There is just our decision.

I know this comes across as negative, especially concerning "the Higher Power" factor.

As a person of faith, I'm not dismissing the role The Most High plays. Rather, I see how the Divine shows up in disguised forms, one of those being the unanswered quiet.

Wisdom to Know the Difference

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.James 3:17


The Serenity Prayer is believed to have been written by American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr sometime in the 1930’s. Although at the time it was written, it was not directly related to alcoholics, later it was adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous as the prayer stated at each of their meetings. It would then become a regular prayer at many other recovery meetings, including that of adult children of alcoholics.

Self-Esteem: "I wish I looked like..."

"I wish I looked like..."

For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. James 3:16

In day two of this national eating disorder awareness week, we turn our attention to appearance. Indeed, wishing, coveting and image are right there in our lives. The outside world displays some aspirational form of aesthetically pleasing and powerful messages; beauty,
especially within the definition of a rigid, thin beauty, becomes its dominant depiction.

This hierarchy of human value, intensified with its dangled promises of untold perfection, happiness and a problem-free existence, can often find us is a position to covet, to envy and to further exemplify less than positive character attributes in the process.

A sound heart is the life of the flesh:
but envy the rottenness of the bones.
Proverbs 14:30

And it stems from a place of fear: we fear we are inadequate as is. Scripture, however, negates that concept...

Are You Armed and Ready?

Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Ephesians 6:11


Once I admitted my issues with control, trust, retail therapy, and co-dependency, I found the love of God waiting for me. Since I had not previously walked the Christian walk, I had a lot to learn. I am an overachiever and a perfectionist by nature, so naturally I wanted to know as much as I could in a relatively short period of time.

I dove in head first into studying God's Word. I prayed without ceasing. I thanked Jesus on a daily basis for saving me. I did everything right, right?

Dealing with Tragedy

One day after visiting the grave of my brother, I began to stroll through the cemetery and found the grave of woman whom I had grown up with. Not only was she buried there but also her teenage son. As I stood there reflecting on what could of went wrong in their lives, I noticed as two car loads of young men parked and exited their vehicles. I waited for a few seconds as the men stood behind me and then I turned and ask them "Was this someone's mother? One of the men stepped forward and said "No, her son was our friend." My response was "I see." Then I proceeded to share with them that I had grown up in the same Santa Ana, CA neighborhood as the mother and began to mention names of her family members.

"I wish I could be happy..."

But let all those who take refuge and put their trust in You rejoice; let them ever sing and shout for joy, because You make a covering over them and defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You and be in high spirits. Psalm 5:11


Again, as day five of this eating disorder awareness week continues, we are confronted with another toxic theory: happiness can be attained via pursuing our image wishes. We often chase and erect our thin idols, to the detriment of our awareness that they were never created to satisfy. They will only fail us.

“I wish I was acceptable...”

Since thou wast precious in my sight... I have loved thee... Isaiah 43:4


Our eating awareness week continues with acceptability. Indeed, there is the pervasive lie out there which tells us how beauty equals acceptance.

And, certainly within our culture, we are inundated with more than enough evidence that this theory is "fact." Look how we fawn over Hollywood, the fashion world and particular image aesthetics. We are convinced "the beautiful people" are more valuable, more relevant and definitely more accepted than anyone who is not fitting that criteria.

Workshop: Heart Hunger-Letting Jesus Satisfy Our Deepest Spiritual NeedsPremium Content

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hungryforjesus Abba Father
YOU are a Good Good Father
and You love us
with an everlasting Love
a love we cannot fully comprehend
but we can believe
and grow in
and learn from
Member #6 an d find healing and strength
new understandings
mercies new
every morning
grace sufficient
Thank You Holy God for this chance to meet with others
and to grow in YOU as we seek YOU
for who YOU are
in Your might y name
Name above ALL Names
we pray

hungryforjesus Hello from Ottawa, Canada the frozen north, eh

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God's Washrag

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. Isaiah 1:18 KJV

When I get up in the morning, I wash my face so that I will be alert and clean. There are many times during the day when I have to wash it again because I get hot and it refreshes me. So it is with Jesus. When we pray the sinner's prayer and ask Him to forgive us and wash us in His atoning blood, He cleanses us from all sin. However, because of living in a world that is sinful and corrupt, our hearts sometimes become filled with unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness, jealousy, sarcasm and criticism.

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