Compass Point: Repentance

22 Years of Active Addiction

My story is really way to long for me to share my 22 years as a prescription addicted to opiates, sedatives, hypnotics, barbiturates, and marijuana. I can tell you however that I am now 47 years old, and in the process of getting my Chemical Dependency Counselors license in Texas. I am also a licensed southern baptist preacher. I have been clean five years.

At one time in my life, scoring and cracking scripts was all I did. The final two years of my addiction darn near cost me my life, as well as my whole family. My wife and I have been married 15 years. The first 10 were spent in drug addiction. Both of us strung out.

Jesus answered my hearts desire to be clean, and delivered me, and my wife on the same day. I haven’t looked back since.

I had 14 Felony Counts

I had to walk through tough times with the courts. I had 14 felony counts. Three counts of sales, loaded handgun, stolen property etc…. When I had my day in court, I was 5 months clean and sober, with two treatment facilities under my belt. I was sentenced to 1 year county jail (not prison) and three years felony probation. The effort I put forth on “changing” my lifestyle (before my court date) made a big difference in the way the Courts, Probation and the District Attorney viewed my case. This year in jail was probably the best thing that happened to me. I see now that I was not arrested, I was rescued.

God Worked Powerfully in My Life

In the late sixties, long before I committed to follow the Lord, God delivered me from an intense IV Meth addiction. There were no withdrawal symptoms of any kind, I simply stopped.

In the mid-seventies, I lived in a hippie-type community in Pennsylvania. I smoked as many packs of cigarettes a day as I could get my hands on. Filtered or non-filtered, it didn’t matter. When I ran out of cigarettes, I rolled my own with Blue Bugler, the cheapest package tobacco you could by at that time. I looked physically fit, but every morning, I woke up congested with phlegm and I could not walk up a flight of stairs without stopping several times to catch my breath.

Living a Double Standard

My feelings of guilt and shame towards a same-sex attraction began at an early age. I experienced frequent sexual abuse from an older male friend during most of my teen years, and hustling for money soon followed.

Years later, I was baptized in a Mennonite Brethren church as a public declaration that I would follow Christ. My secret desire was that maybe now my attraction and sexual fantasies towards men would disappear. They didn’t, and the fantasies soon turned into years of acting out behaviours.

The Gospel – Key To Change

by Tim Keller

The Greek term “gospel” (ev-angelion) distinguished the Christian message from that of other religions. An ‘ev-angel’ was news of a great historical event, such as a victory in war or the ascension of a new king, that changed the listeners’ condition and required a response from the listener.So the gospel is news of what God has done to reach us.It is not advice about what we must do to reach God. What is this news? God has entered the world in Jesus Christ to achieve a salvation that we could not achieve for ourselves which now:

1) converts and transforms individuals, forming them into a new humanity, and eventually

2) will renew the whole world and all creation.

This is the ‘good news’—the gospel. And it is good news in three important ways.

Taking Step 4

When I was first told about making a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself I was filled with FEAR. And then to admit to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs — YIKES! Where to start??

Instead of starting with me, I think it starts with God and His Word. We need to hear, read and study scripture. By doing this we learn what God wants us to be–what His standards for us are. We must make ourselves available to God through meditation, prayer and by serving Him rather than our own needs, material desires, and lusts.

Guilty Victim or Sinner?

Proverbs 18:5 NRSV
It is not right to be partial to the guilty,
or to subvert the innocent in judgment.

What is wrong with homosexuality?

What is wrong with homosexuality?

A whole lot of things, but mostly this: It’s an abomination to God. He said this not once, not twice, but several times…and it wasn’t all in one breath, but was spread out over 1,500 years. In the beginning, God created man and then He created a woman to be man’s helpmate. I imagine that if God had thought homosexuality was okay, then he would have created another man…or just two women. But He didn’t, so that’s the beginning.