Some of you, my friends, have asked me, “How did God or what circumstances did He use to free me from being a bi-sexual/lesbian?”
When I first came on the Internet, I didn’t really tell anyone right away about my problem of being a lesbian. All my life I had wanted to change this part of me. I couldn’t stand being a lesbian, with all those perverted thoughts and images and (yes doing the act with a woman) going on in my head. I knew there had to be a way to be free from it, but didn’t know how to be set free. I couldn’t talk about it to anyone for fear of being rejected, unloved, and even neglected especially by GOD.
I do know that I was a very lonely person and my life was a very hard one. Trying to keep this a secret was bad enough as well. I wanted to fill a void in my life so I went this way. But in my heart I KNEW it was wrong and a lie straight from Satan himself.
You see God would never say its OK to do this. This isn’t what he created and designed us to be. I found out that being a LESBIAN, kept me in bondage for over 35 years. When I pursued this lifestyle, I became suicidal, had a self hatred for me, no self respect at all, and lots of guilt as well. I just wanted to be set free from the DEMONIC hold that SATAN had on my life, my thoughts, even my sexuality. And all that perversion that SATAN kept feeding my heart and mind with. Especially the images. I believed in SATAN and his lies that is was OK to be a bi-sexual/lesbian. But you see friends, some of you started praying for me and none of you ever let up on me on your praying for me to be free. I know even right now, they are still praying for me.
I started reading the “Left Behind Series” by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. It got me to thinking that if GOD came right now to take his children home with him, I wouldn’t be allowed into heaven. You are probably saying, “why would I say that” I started searching the BIBLE for verses that tells me if I was still participation in the Lesbian lifestyle (or sexual immorality), then I would be left behind.
Here are some verses that took hold of my heart and mind, to help me see what I was doing to GOD and to my hubby as well:
Leviticus 18:22—talking about women laying with women—to me that is lesbian and it is wrong to do this
Romans 1:18-32–This is talking about GOD”S wrath is revealed against all of the godlessness and wickedness of men–including Homosexuality. Also in these same verses he describes homosexuality as a wicked perversion of God’s gift.
I Corinthians 6:9-10—it says that the wicked–including homosexuality will not inherit the kingdom of GOD.
Also in Galatians 5:17-21—these verses say the same things as in
I Corinthians 6:9-10
James 1:8–talks about having a double minded man–that is how i felt and felt unstable in all areas of my life.
Last in Revelation 21:8—–it does say if we are still practicing any form of sexual immorality (including lesbian) stuff when he come back for us–we will not inherit the Kingdom of GOD.
All of these verses griped my heart and mind and i knew that GOD was speaking to me and telling me to “STOP THE SIN OF LESBIAN” STOP DOING THE ACT OF LESBIAN” and start doing what i was meant to do with my hubby.
For the last 3 months I haven’t acted on them or out anymore. The desires to be with another women sexually and that are gone. PRAISE GOD!!!! Sometimes the thoughts creep back in my heart and mind, but with GOD”S help we fight this together.
There is a void in my life since he has taken those desires away, and sometimes i get real lonely this way, but I know in my heart that GOD is still working on me to be more like HIM in HIS image. To be free from all the perverted stuff that SATAN tries to throw in my face and heart and mind and soul.
I thank GOD for all of you that have stuck by me and prayed with me and listen to me while I complained and struggled to be from this SIN in my life.
~ MJ, a member of CIR