I often find myself going over and over the past,like when I am trying to go to sleep at night and can’t because of these thoughts. All the fear and panic of the past creeps into my present. It is as if I re-live it all in real time. It can be extremely painful both spiritually and emotionally.
I have come to learn a few things.
1. I can always learn from my past and I think we are supposed to learn from our past mistakes and missteps.
2. Satan can use the past to keep me in bondage. And that is certainly not the will of God. The last thing I want is to be doing what Satan wants. So, when these thoughts come back to me I pray. I ask God for healing in this area of my life.
When the past comes back to haunt me it can be something from years ago or from just yesterday. Usually the result is confusion in my entire being. But scripture teaches:
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. 1 Corinthians 14:33
So I have to wonder if it is not Satan who drags some of this stuff up to confuse me, to make all of these emotions boil over and create a mess. Now, I am not saying I have to ignore these feelings and emotions. They should and must be dealt with in a godly and biblical fashion. But I cannot allow them to create confusion and a mess in my life. I have to be aware of these emotions and deal with them, not allow the pot to boil over.
I picture in my mind a big pot of oatmeal boiling away, starting to rise in the pot as it starts to boil over and finally it does boil over and what a mess it makes!!!!!!
I have to see the pot… realize that it is starting to boil over… and then realize it is too much heat creating the problem… take to pot off of the fire. How to do that? Take all this boiling mess to Christ and not allow Satan to continue turning up the heat on the pot.
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.
No matter what is going on in my life God can and will bring peace…
and he will return the joy to my life.
But I have to turn to Him…
not the pot…
not the heat…
not the oatmeal…
I picture in my mind’s eye putting all these past experiences in a bag, leaving them at the foot of the cross and walking away in freedom and joy in the Holy Spirit.
If these things come creeping back I claim the blood of Christ. I rebuke Satan. I claim total and complete healing.
3. God does not intend for me to be prisoner of the past.
Jesus came to set us “free, free indeed!” Those are His words. When I keep living in the past or experiencing the pain of the past I cannot heal or move forward because I am chained to the past. If these things still persist in haunting me then I need to review things.
Is there a lesson I have not learned?
Have I not applied the lessons learned to my life?
Have I failed to surrender this to the Lord 100%?
It is said we are all products of our past and that is true to some extent. I have to remember that ultimately,
I am a creation of God. (see: Isaiah 64:8)
I am His child. (see: John 1:12)
I am covered in the blood of Christ.(see: 1 John 1:7)
I am held in the palm of His hand.(see: Isaiah 49:16)
I am protected. (see: Psalm 91:1-16)
I am being healed. (see: Psalm 147:3)
I am blessed. (see: Philippians 4:19, James 1:17)
That is what matters.
That is TRUTH.
Yes, the past has happened but it is in the PAST — it is not today. I am learning to live in the moment and no longer in the past.
I refuse to allow the past to dominate my now.
I allow God to dominate my now.
It is my choice…..
Image Credit: “Time to let (her) go!” by Fish Gravy – Time to let (her) go !. Licensed under CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Time_to_let_(her)_go!.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Time_to_let_(her)_go!.jpg