Why Are Unhappy People Unhappy?

This article is about unhappy people – not depressed people.

True happiness is within self. Unhappy people are usually unhappy because they have not mastered the ability to be happy within themselves. Therefore, they may try and gain happiness/pleasure through others no matter what that entails. Don’t get confused with my usage of unhappiness and then compare it to depression because they are two different things.

An unhappy person often uses others to get what they need out of life. At first this may work, but after a while the relationship begins to experience problems because their partner cannot tolerate the life getting literally sucked out of them. This kind of needy and spongy behavior is what the medical and psychiatric establishments like to call, “codependency”.

There is nothing really wrong with these kinds of people, except for the fact they need to come out of their selfishness, grow up, be accountable and take responsibility for their own happiness. Unfortunately when certain establishments coin codependency as some life long emotional problem, people don’t take responsibility for their behavior. For them it’s always someone else’s fault why they drink, why they look at porn, why they do drugs, why they have an anger management problem, why they feel like the whole world owes them

a favor, and why they continue to live a bitter filled existence.

“Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~Og Mandino

The problem begins when the unhappy person does not get all of their needs and desires met through someone else and believe they are unhappy because of the person they married. But in actuality nothing is further from the truth. Unhappy and bitter people have made an addiction for themselves – they have a compulsion to wallow in their misery. They are stuck inside of their discontent and bitter heart and can’t get out, no matter how much they continue to use and abuse others for happiness.

The miserable person may even seem jovial to others on the outside – they go to work every day, take care of their families, and seem to have a normal life, but on the inside something is amiss with these unhappy, bitter folks. They often complain about others, and try and control any one they can to get their needs and desires met. But marriage, and any relationship for that matter, cannot stand up under such abuse and the marriage usually ends in divorce.

So, what can an unhappy person do to help themselves out of their misery? First off the unhappy person should realize that happiness does not grow on trees – you cannot get happiness through others. You are hurting so many people in the process of creating happiness for yourself and that is very wrong.

Happiness is found within the person you are – you master happiness for yourself, once you master the art of connecting with your Creator. If your connection is faulty so will be the person you can be – the whole and complete person you were created to become. Happiness is made through building up your spiritual connection with God. God gives us everything we need to sustain ourselves with. If you have made room in your heart for His wisdom, knowledge and love, then you will find happiness within.

Jesus said,

“Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you shall receive, and your JOY will be complete.” John 16:24 NIV