Matthew 12:25 KJV
…Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand:
The wisdom and grace of Jesus tells you about the consequences of a kingdom divided against itself. In chapter 9 of the AA book, it says, “All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love.” The entire family must all come together to solve problems. Recovery does not mean, “I am in control again”. In many ways the house is still divided, even though you might not see it. Problems of money, health, and community relations still need to be addressed. Steps 4 and 5 help to remind you about that. If you own a home and you were not making mortgage payments, you could be facing foreclosure, and maybe even repossession of you car. When you think about how to keep your house standing, remember that you have to take everything to God in prayer.
What can you do to make sure the house will still stand? What can you do to meet on common ground with the rest of the family?
Have a plan.
Family meetings are a significant step in the right direction. When you remember chapter 9 says to meet upon common ground, you set in motion foundation to give every family member a voice. Everybody needs to heard. The good with the bad. Some things will be good to hear others might cause discomfort. When you struggle with something you heard, talk to you sponsor, call somebody, go to a meeting. Whatever happens, do not give up and feel that there is no hope for resolution.
When families come together on a regular basis, they will develop the trust and confidence they will need to deal with issues and concerns that happen in recovery. Issues like getting caught up on back payments, or completing court obligations are just a couple of examples. The family does not have to meet every week at the exact same time. Make sure they happen often and everybody attends.
Have an issue to discuss.
Remember there are good issues as well, Talk about them. Getting a job is a good thing, graduating to the next phase in drug court is a good thing. Don’t make it all doom and gloom. If there is an emergency that should be talked about first. When everybody knows what to expect and can plan, the family and all family members will understand and know that their issues will be heard.
Listen for way to solve a problem. Ask for suggestions and about ways to prevent future problems. If everybody has voice, everybody is heard. You might have the answer but you might not know how to make it work to solve the problem. Addiction and alcoholism clouded reality for a very long time. The serenity prayer lays it out for you. Serenity, acceptance, courage and wisdom.
When you and the family talk about things, you will build a house that is not divided because it will be built on a solid foundation of love, trust, forgiveness, understanding, and God consciousness.
God be with you all