To everyone, who is afflicted by the insidiousness of alcohol. Please share this important information with the alcoholic you love and work together to overcome addiction to alcohol. Addiction is a family affair and that means the whole family should be involved in the process of its healing in all areas, physical, emotional and spiritual.
Ask Angie: What do you do when your husband who has been sober for 19 years starts drinking again? For the last three years he has been drinking, binges mostly at first, then in the last year, he will go a couple of days, sometimes as long as two weeks, then it starts back up slowly at first, and then fifths of alcohol, disappears for days and is terribly ugly to me when he is drunk. He pretends all is well when he actually shows up at home and goes to church with me on Sundays and he helps in a children’s church classroom on Wed nights. He lies to me all the time and hides his activities from me as best he can. I feel like I’m living with the enemy all the time and as much as I try to boot him out, my husband brings in him. I have two children left at home, 11 and 12, who are blissfully unaware of their Dad’s problems. I don’t know whether I am helping my husband by not leaving or by not speaking out. I don’t know whether it would be appropriate to talk to my pastor about what is going on, or whether that would be appropriate. I know my husband would be very angry if I did that. I’m not sure what to do, and honestly I’m tired of all the ugliness.
Ask Angie: My husband is an alcoholic. I’ve begged him to get help but to no avail. After a last ditch effort to save our marriage I begged him to go to marriage counseling but after only one session he stated he couldn’t be the man I wanted him to be and left-devastating me and our 4 kids. Five weeks later he was arrested for a drunk driving accident and went to a rehab for a month. Thru all of it I became a Christian-turned to church, Christian friends, prayer and scripture for support as well as alanon meetings. I’ve tried to detach w/ love and have prayed for my husbands healing and return to our family. But, I am suffering greatly and my perseverance is wavering. My husband is cold and distant w/ me and although I know it is part of his disease (self-loathing, shame, trying to blame others etc) I’m struggling to keep hope-what do I do?
Ask Angie: My partner of 27 years has a drinking problem. He binge drinks and although not that regularly the impact of those times is great. Two years ago he picked the kids aged 6 and 9 up from school when he was 4 times over the legal limit. I was devastated, as I had no idea anything was wrong. He didn’t drink for a year after that and did go to a counselor but since then has just had another episode on our sons 8th birthday. He drank a bottle of port, he says, and then came out of his room during the day at intervals abusing me, swearing and all in front of the kids. He won’t leave and says he doesn’t want to be like that but I see it as a cycle that is repeating itself. My kid’s don’t want the family to be split up but I am tired of not knowing if I am coming home to a sane person or a drunk/drugged one. My father was also an alcoholic when I was growing up and I hated it but he eventually reformed. I just want a normal family life.
Marriage Guidance:
Too many marriages are broken and suffering because of alcohol addiction! Let’s get the TRUE healing we need. GOD IS OUR HEALER!
There are three main areas within our body that trigger alcoholism. The three areas are physical, emotional and spiritual. All three of these areas work together in our body and mind to bring on alcohol addiction. All three areas, the physical, emotional and spiritual can be healed through the alcoholic’s willingness to get well and their relationship with Jesus Christ. We must humble ourselves and trust in God with our life! The alcoholic needs to repent and turn away from the sinful life and chose to renew their minds through rebirth in Jesus Christ.
“Come o me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Mathew 11:28-29 NIV
Physical Cravings to Alcohol
Our book Sugar Overload Syndrome gives hope to the alcoholic and shows them how to overcome the physical cravings to alcohol through proper diet. The physical symptoms of alcoholism are the craving of sugar, which causes the alcoholic to feel they NEED a drink. The physical aspects of addiction are craving of sugar, not the craving of alcohol. I realized this on my own about 20 years ago. Let me explain.
Alcoholism and low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) almost always go hand in hand. Where there is alcoholism, there is low blood sugar. I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia when I was 14-years old. My low blood sugar was not from alcohol but from poor diet. I ate a lot of sugary foods and soda pop when I was young. Unfortunately when I had my first drink, I was hooked physically. It made me feel better in all areas of my life.
Alcoholism creates low blood sugar and the constant craving to drink. But understand just because a person may have low blood sugar, does not mean they will become alcoholic. It almost always works the other way around; meaning alcohol abuse creates low blood sugar. Alcoholics usually have most of the other triggers as well that predispose them to alcoholism.
To heal the physical aspect of addiction to alcohol one must change diet to eating only natural whole grains and natural sugars from natural sources. After two weeks of not eating any chemically processed sugar, including alcohol and processed grains (white flours) the body goes through many positive changes.
These positive changes begin to work on healing the pancreas; liver and kidneys as well as balancing out the brains hormones so the alcoholic will not crave alcohol. A whole grains, beans, lentils, fish, whole fruits and vegetable diet will also help with emotional outlook, such as with depression and bipolar.
But…there are still two more aspects of addiction that need healing. To learn more about the physical cravings to alcohol, and how diet can help, see our book Sugar Overload Syndrome: Healing Mental and Physical Disorders Naturally.
Emotional Aspects of Alcoholism
The second aspect of alcoholism that must be explored is the emotional and mental qualms within the alcoholic. Most alcoholics have low self-esteems and have a difficult time dealing with stressful situations and the negative emotions within them. A lot of alcoholics are resentful and angry and they take this deep-seated anger out on those closest to them, usually a spouse.
Alcoholics have learned, through habit, to medicate their inner turmoil with alcohol. This is what I call the band aid affect. It is only a temporary solution to their emotional problems. Understand that just because the alcoholic is healed physically, through diet, from the cravings of alcohol does not mean they won’t drink—it only means that if they are healed physically from the cravings of alcohol, it is one less trigger causing them to want to drink.
In other words, even though they may be on a better diet, the alcoholic still needs emotional and spiritual healing—they may still suffer inside, which triggers drinking. All aspects of addiction must be healed for total sobriety, or it is inevitable the alcoholic will drink again. Just because he or she goes to AA does not mean they will get sober and stay sober.
What I have personally witnessed from AA is that people remain lingering in their past on pity-pots, rather than apply the twelve steps to their lives and forgive through Jesus Christ. They are sober but still exhibit signs of being a dry drunk. They attend meeting after meeting, but nothing changes for them. Much forgiveness, humbleness, and honesty with oneself is needed to overcome the emotionally aspects of addiction. The twelve steps are good for applying into your life and then getting past them, not lingering in them.
Also, Jesus Christ is needed for putting away the past and starting anew. And from my experience from attending two meetings of AA many years ago, most people did not make Jesus Christ the most important aspect of their sobriety—they we’re still hanging onto self and the selfish lifestyle to allow Christ in. This is why AA did not get me sober. God in my life and humbling my total life to Him is how I got sober.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2
This family chaos and turmoil caused from alcoholism is “why” they call alcoholism “the insidious disease”. I have to admit alcoholism is insidious but since alcoholism can be healed through proper diet and our relationship with Jesus Christ, I do not believe it is a disease. To learn more about healing ourselves emotionally from addiction, check out our book The Alcoholism Trap: Understanding Why You Drink and What You Can Do To Beat Alcohol Addiction For Good and Achieve Total Sobriety.
Healing Takes the Work of God
The spiritual aspect of addiction just means we lack the spiritual Christ from intervening on our behalf from our afflictions—we’re not taking the problem to Him!! It is ironic how most alcoholics have low self-images but yet put themselves on a pedestal, above their Creator. Alcoholics are just selfish—that’s all. Not to offend anyone, but that is just the way it is. It is always about “me-me” with the alcoholic, even in bouts of sobriety! Believe me, I know this first hand. We don’t realize how selfish we are until we are completely healed and made whole again in Christ.
This “me attitude” is what keeps people from God and trusting is Jesus Christ for their sustenance. They trust Coors light and Mr. Jim Beam more than anything else. But this addictive behavior can all change! It can change when the alcoholic decides they cannot go on living in this life without God! They must deny self and accept Jesus Christ into their life. The alcoholic must go to God with a sincere heart and begin trusting in Him for the healing they so desperately need. God will heal your heart and restore your mind.
The alcoholic must firmly believe that the power of the Holy Spirit within them will protect them and lead them in the right direction towards inner healing. In essence, the alcoholic and anyone who is living a life of sin needs to humble themselves to the Living Christ!
“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it”. Matthew 10:39
All three aspects of addiction need to be healed for total sobriety to take place. An alcoholic cannot skip the spiritual aspect and think they are healed. They can’t continue to eat a poor diet of white flour, and sugars, and junk food and think they are healed, because the brain, minus any “happy hormones” (endorphins) will tell them otherwise and they will still crave alcohol!
To learn more about total sobriety for the alcoholic and to find out what you can do to help yourself and the alcoholic we suggest The Alcoholism Trap and Sugar Overload Syndrome. SOS also discusses the healing of other emotional and mental ailments within the body, such as depression through diet and herbs. We are always available for encouragement and support through email.
What Can a Loved One of the Alcoholic Do to Help?
Loved ones always need to keep praying for the alcoholic and be supportive in whatever manner is available to them according to their circumstances. Be encouraging to the alcoholic, especially if they are willing to take the steps needed towards total sobriety. And as the young lady said above in her testimony, she is not angry being married to an alcoholic because she has found God as her comfort and hope, which frees her from falling into the addiction trap with her husband. We pray that you find your peace and contentment in Jesus Christ as well.
God is YOUR Healer!
Who forgives all your sins, and heals all your diseases. Psalms 103:3