Frequently Asked Questions

Sexual Abuse FAQPremium Content

Q: Aren't most offenders strangers?

    A: No. 29% of perpetrators are relatives of the victim, while 60% are
    acquaintances and friends. Only 11 % of perpetrators are strangers.


Q: If sexual abuse only happens once, does it really cause any harm or damage?

    A: Sexual abuse is about power and damage to the core identity of a person. Any incidence of sexual
    abuse leaves an imprint.

Q: If the abuse isn't violent and causes physical injuries, is it really sexual abuse?

    A:
    Abuse is usually coercive. In most cases, the child is engaged by means of
    persuasion, bribes, and threats, rather than by physical force. A
    perpetrator likes to convince the victim and others, that the child was a
    willing participant. This causes many victims to experience confusion,
    shame, guilt, lowered self - esteem, betrayal of trust, fear of intimate
    relationships, and a distorted view of sexuality. Most victims do not have
    physical injuries.

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Holidays are so difficult; Can I just stay home?

Holidays are so difficult; my in-laws are so mean to me. Can I just stay home?

First of all, in order to stay home, would you have to make up an excuse or could you tell the truth about why you wanted to bow out of the activities? In this case, doing the right thing may be very difficult, but no less necessary.

I would guess that you could come up with several people who would be very hurt and disappointed by your absence. My advice is to focus on them. Make those few people your comfort for the day. You can sit by them, talk to them and lean on them for support. Focus on your support system instead of those few hurtful people who try to make you suffer.

Is it possible for a Christian to live without sinning?

Is it possible for a Christian to live without sinning?

I could say that I don't sin-but then I would be lying! There is no way that a person could live free of sin. Pride, selfishness, deceit, greed, lack of faith, or lust... all of those things are sin. But, remember, sin is not always what you do wrong; it is also what you fail to do right. Sin includes the needs around you that you ignore: It is the neighbor to whom you have not witnessed, it is the sick friend whose children you have not offered to baby-sit.

Pornography Addiction: What Can A Man Do?

1. Recognize The Cause of Your Addiction:

First of all the most important thing you can do is figure out why you are addicted to pornography by recognizing what the root of the problem is. Do whatever it takes to bring it out in the open with yourself and then take the necessary steps to eradicate the sexual cravings from your mind. Do you think you can stop at anytime on your own free will? Easier said than done, right?

Do you have negative feelings towards someone or about something bad that happened in your life? If negative issues don't get resolved within your mind your sub-conscience will bring them back out in your actions. Only you can know for sure what it is that has caused pain and suffering within you. And only you can do something about it! Make it right for yourself in your mind, and do whatever you need to do to fix the problem.

2. Take the Blinders Off and Open Your Eyes:

I know this sounds harsh but look what closed mindedness towards God does to you! What you think and believe on a continual basis brings you into a life based upon those thoughts and beliefs. If our mind is not on God then what is it on?

Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? Luke 6:39

Have you ever stopped to think that you're addicted to pornography because of your unwillingness to base your life upon a spiritual and moral foundation? Simply put, your philosophy is with the world and not God. Some of you have even been conditioned into believing that viewing pornography is acceptable for you life. But I encourage you to break free from this kind of thinking, which leads to sin, and seek out the true source and foundation for your life.

My Husband is Looking at Porn. What Should I Do?

Ask Angie: Angie, my husband is a Christian, and I just found out that he has been looking at porn on the Internet for about a month. How do I have a relationship with him after this? We went through this when we first got married 19 years ago...I don't think I can do it again!

Marriage Guidance: You have to see your husband underneath the cloak of this addiction. Addiction is not who he is but what he has allowed to filter into his heart and mind. You need to pray about his recovery and ask God to give you the strength to get through these hard times in your marriage. Some husbands lie to themselves and believe its ok to look at naked women and men. But the truth is its not ok if you have stopped enjoying your wife. It’s not ok if you look forward to viewing women on the Internet instead of the woman you married and that God has blessed you with. It would be a good idea to print this marriage column out and read through it with your husband. Work together on this issue by being supportive and encouraging. Try and be your husbands other half (help mate) rather than an antagonist. You both need to sit down and talk through this with respect and consideration of each others feelings. Some husbands are in denial and believe they don't have a problem with porn. But since you said your husband is a Christian or trying to be a Christian then he is not in denial and should work towards inner healing. Help him do that.

Now that I am ill, why does God seem to be so far away?

Now that I am ill, why does God seem to be so far away?

Regardless of how you feel, if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then He is right beside you. In Hebrews 13:5, we are reminded of a promise that God made,

"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."

Illness can often affect our emotions, and it is possible at times to feel very alone. You must believe that God will never break His promises to you.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Another wonderful promise, the best one, I think, is found in Revelation 21:4:

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Will I ever get over the pain of the child abuse I suffered?Premium Content

Will I ever get over the pain of the child abuse I suffered?

God has a special place in His heart for all little children, but I cannot imagine the way He grieves over an innocent child who suffers at the hand of a parent.

If you are reading this and have never accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord, Savior, and true Father, I can understand that. How difficult it must be for a person who suffered abuse to believe in a loving Father. The heart wants to believe, but the mind shouts, "No, No, protect yourself." Right? Just imagine, though, that God, in His loving mercy, wants desperately to be all that your earthly parent was not. He wants to surround you with love and security, with hope and a future—all that your earthly parent robbed you of. Receive it from Him.

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Is drinking beer or wine a sin?Premium Content

Is drinking beer or wine a sin?

Like most things, this is up to interpretation. Do you feel sinful when you drink alcohol? If so, then stop. God is telling you to stop. There are a few good passages about this subject in the Bible.

1 Timothy 3:3: "Not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money."

Matthew 15:11: "What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.'"

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How can I prevent becoming desensitized to sin?Premium Content

How can I prevent becoming desensitized to sin?

We can do so by seeking with all of our hearts and minds the truth that God has provided. This means reading, studying, and meditating deeply upon God's Holy Word, the Bible. This should be done with much prayer, always seeking God's will for our lives. A good Scripture for us in this regard is:

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. (2 Tim. 2:15)

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I like to gamble for fun, and I know when to quit. Is that okay?Premium Content

I like to gamble for fun, and I know when to quit. Is that okay?

Let’s first identify what gambling is. Merriam-Webster defines gambling as, “to play a game for money or property” and “to bet on an uncertain outcome.” It always puts the believer in the position of taking unnecessary chances with money that he or she has worked hard for. We know that, as Christians, everything we have is the Lord’s; we are then, literally, gambling away the Lord’s money. So, gambling in any form—lottery, casinos, raffles, pools—is not acceptable for a believer.

Further, gambling is profiting on another’s loss. In order to win at gambling, others have to have come before you to pay for your win. How can that be a godly event? Families have been destroyed by the lure of the possibilities of gambling. To profit from another person’s destruction or loss is not only unacceptable; it completely opposes the model behavior of Christ.

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