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Frequently Asked Questions
by Michael Tays Carter
Homosexuality was a biblical issue long before it became a political one. This booklet answers six important questions about man's existence and whether or not a God of perfect love exists. Are we only here by chance governed by an amoral "spirit of the universe?" Could it be there is a moral God who has set moral boundaries for our good--a God who loves us enough to literally save us from ourselves?
ONE: What about my Unmet Needs?
There is an Eat-Drink-And-Be-Merry-For-Tomorrow-We-Die party going strong. It is hosted by the famous "I-Have-Needs" with the popular "Get-Your-Needs-Met-Here" to greet you at the door. "Hate-The-Law" is dancing the night away with "New-Christ-Consciousness." "Doubt-The-Bible" has the crowded room in the palm of his hand. No one wants him to leave, but he has had so much to drink he staggers, and "Easy-Way-Out" has to show him to the door. Morning comes, and the place is still packed with people who all have needs at the Eat-Drink-And-Be-Merry-For-Tomorrow-We-Die party.
Married people who cheat have needs. Drug addicts have needs. Murderers have needs. Pedophiles and rapists have needs... What is to stop any of us from meeting our needs as we see fit? Who cares about the idea of rebelling against a moral God or hurting another human being in order to meet our (selfish) needs? When living a pure life seems too hard, what does it matter if we take the easy way out of pain?
Answers to Questions About Personal Recovery
- Is right for Christians to borrow ideas, principles, and techniques from the secular treatment community?
- Isn't the "drunkard" the same person as the addict or alcoholic?
- What about the "disease concept" of alcoholism and drug addiction?
- Doesn't the concept of "recovery"contradict the spiritual truth of becoming a "new creation" in Christ?
- How do "support groups" help the struggling addict?
A man fell into a pit and couldn't get himself out.
A subjective person came along and said, "I feel for you down there."
An objective person came along and said, "It's logical that someone would fall down there."
A Christian Scientist came along and said, "You only think you're in a pit."
A Pharisee said, "Only bad people fall into a pit."
A mathematician calculated how he fell into the pit & the speed of the decline.
A fundamentalist said. "You deserve that pit."
Confucius said, "If you would have listened to me you wouldn't be in that pit."
Buddha said, "You're pit is only a state of mind."
A realist said, "That's a pit. "
We need to serve God more than He needs us to serve Him. Sponsorship and discipling can open doors we never imagined. Many people in CIR are looking for an accountability partner, recovery buddy or sponsor (also known as a mentor, coach or disciple). We encourage you to step forward and agree to worth others. Check the Buddy Forums in the Message Boards if you desire an accountability partner or or if you are willing to be an accountability partner.
What is a Recovery Buddy?
- A buddy can be viewed as a mentor, an accountability partner and/or someone with whom you can share and walk the path of recovery together.
The primary distinctives that differentiate Christian Recovery from other approaches to life change lie in our approach to spirituality.
Here are some of the major theological tenants of the Christian approach to recovery.
- Recovery is truly Christian only if God is part of it.
This God is not just a nebulous "Higher Power", but rather is the Creator of the Universe Who has revealed Himself in the Bible. Additionally, this God is a loving God, who showed His love by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, into this fallen world to save us. John 3:16
- The Word of God is the authoritative rule and guide for our recovery. We believe there is, indeed, some objective TRUTH in this world and that it is revealed in the Holy Scriptures. Hebrews 4:12
Keywords: Bible, Holy Bible, alt.bible, Scriptures, Tanakh, Law, Torah, Prophets, History, Old Testament, Apocrypha, New Testament.
This document covers the following questions:
Matthew 24:10 KJV
And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.
Another stop on the road to recovery takes you to the intersection of people and who I said it to. There many warnings signs, directions, instructions and other signpost to consider as you travel the path to self enlightenment. The foundation of this healthy spirit filled life begins with the journey within.
This journey into self teaches many things about who you are and who you are not. It might be the first time in a long time you realize that some of the things you said in order to belong to the group came back to hurt you and you felt you were betrayed. How did this insane way of getting attention affect you? What can you do to protect yourself in recovery? Addiction and alcoholism are about confusion and deceit. They are based on the smoking glasses and half truths about everything in your life.
Question: I need help, I am the typical enabler and victim and I do not want my life to continue this way. Please help!
Guidance: I know your pain and suffering first hand. My experience comes from both sides. I grew up with an alcoholic step dad. When I got married I was the alcoholic and my husband was the enabler. I can now look back on my behavior and see how sick mentally, emotionally and spiritually I really was. Only when my husband stopped enabling the addiction did I get help for myself. Praise God I have been sober for 15 years! My personal testimony is written in the book Journey on the Roads Less Traveled.
Question: What if you're in a position where the only place your spouse can safely drink is in your home? I have tried the detachment thing only to have my drunken partner stalk me around the house and badger me with his stupid behavior. He's not physically violent but mentally abusive and I would like to ignore it but the words hurt. The only thing I can think of is an ultimatum to not drink in my house. Any suggestions would be helpful... and yes I do ignore him when he's drunk at least 99% of the time... I can't always do this when I'm being verbally attacked or things are being thrown around the house.
Guidance: The home is usually the only safe place for an alcoholic to drink for obvious reasons. You're doing the right thing by trying to detach from the alcoholic behavior. Here are seven more ways to detach from abusive behavior. The best way to get the most from this marriage column is to click on all of the links that will lead you to another article.
Understand that most of what an alcoholic says when drunk they don't really mean. The alcoholic is angry inside-they are holding in a lot of resentment and emotional demons that come out in angry words of abuse to whoever happens to be in earshot. The alcoholic is
For most Christians, this is a special time of joy and celebration. Yet, it can be an extremely difficult and stressful time for those who are just beginning to recover from addiction to alcohol and drugs. Spending Christmas in a shelter or residential recovery program is hard.
Here's a few simple thoughts that can make the experience a little more tolerable:
A. Remember the spiritual significance of the holiday
- This time of year is a major commercial event for America's retailers. It is also a time for special celebrations of family and goodwill. Still, we must remember that Jesus is the Reason for the Season . Above all else, we are celebrating God's sending of His only Son to be our Savior and Redeemer. Keeping Christmas as a spiritual celebration puts all of our other expectations for the holiday season in proper perspective.
B. Don't isolate
- The holidays can be the loneliest time of the year for the recovering addict. One one hand, we are reminded of all the relationships we've messed up. Some will spend Christmas haunted by memories loved ones and friends they've alienated with destructive and manipulative behavior. We know, too, if we want to keep our sobriety, we must avoid people who are still using alcohol and drugs. What's the solution? Take advantage of the new sober acquaintances God has brought your way. Reach out to those around you and use this holiday season s as a special opportunity to get to know them better.