Step 1

Indulgence or Self-discipline?

When I was younger, there was a hepatitis outbreak on my college campus. Unfortunately, I was one of the young people to get it. Our family doctor recommended a diet regimen and rest for three months, giving my liver a chance to recover. At the end of the three months, he pronounced me well and told me that I could go back to my regular activities. The problem was, I was still tired. Tired all the time. I asked the doctor about it, afraid that I still had active hepatitis. He told me that I was fine, but that the inactivity had caused my body to feel tired. What I needed to do was ignore my tiredness and get active again. Do exercise. Get out. Eventually the tired feeling would disappear.

Utter Confusion

Utter confusion, misery and pain,
Humiliation, remorseful, ashamed.
Dreading to face the light of each day,
Not wanting to hear what people would say.

Like, "Where is your power? Where is your pride?"
They don't understand that deep down inside
I wish I knew the answers to give,
Or how to find the courage to live.

Psalm 151 (a Psalm of Addicts)

Prayer of Powerlessness
For the Twelve Steps. Do not destroy.

1 Almighty and Most Powerful God,
Why am I cursed with this addiction?
2 Your children starve in foreign lands
while my compulsion drives me
to want more and more.

Jumping the Hurdle of Addiction

I know that you can jump the hurdle of addiction and live a content filled peaceful life because I did, and I am. In my marriage and life I went through a lot of terrible emotions and marital issues during my bout with alcohol addiction. I have been sober for fourteen-years now, and I have never craved a drink, nor have I ever wanted to have a drink, socially or otherwise.

Guilty Victim or Sinner?

Proverbs 18:5 NRSV
It is not right to be partial to the guilty,
or to subvert the innocent in judgment.

Where to Start Recovery

Understanding the First Step

Worksheet to help you with understanding Step One.

Sex & Love Addiction Step Zero

Sex, Love and Porn Addiction Worksheet for Step 0 (before the First Step).

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