How to Love Your Spouse

Why do married people need encouragement to love, or have to be told how to love their spouse?

Most married people do not know how to love -- they have lost the ability to, or never had the ability to truly love another. Love is all about sacrifice and giving of ourselves. Love is not “what can I get out of this relationship or circumstance or predicament.

Our relationship with Jesus Christ gives us the ability to love others in the right ways. If we do not have a personal relationship with Christ we will have a difficult time understanding the proper ways to love our spouse.

Love is something learned and once learned it grows within us and we become love. Love comes from God and without God you will have no love to give!

5 Ways Phony Love Gets Confused With Real Love – Don’t Let This Happen to You!

  • Having affairs
  • – Cheating on your spouse and thinking “this new person is now the one for you”. That’s not love -- it’s fake -- it’s phony!! You have allowed your emotions to control your senses. This is why most affairs never last. You are being used emotionally and physically and you are using another in the same way.

  • Addictions
  • – Becoming ensnared within an addiction will control us to love it MORE than our spouse. How can an addicted person love another without compromising their love for the addiction? They can’t!! They first must overcome the addiction through Christ and learn to love.

  • Not Having a Personal Relationship with Christ
  • – Most of us believe in God and we go to church but that is not enough. We have to understand and accept God’s workings in our lives through Jesus Christ by Faith before we can actually be able to love another. Faith is shown by our actions. Are we following Christ or are we following something else? Some folks say they are following God and are Christ Ones but are actually following their own selfish, prideful ways -- they have more faith in their own feelings than they do God’s will for their lives. That’s not faith. They want to be “seen” going to church but they don’t live very Christ-like in their walk or in their relationships.

  • False Praise and Admiration for Another
  • – Some people are fakes -- they don’t do what they say, and they behave in ways that are contrary to what they say to others. To your face they say one thing, but their walk says another. Many people falsely praise others for their own gain. You’ll know later by their walk -- is there any fruit in their lives?

  • Pride / Sin
  • – Living in sin keeps us from loving others properly. I’m talking about prideful sin. Prideful sin is seen in our anger, bitterness, jealousy, envy, judging, pride, egotism, selfishness, faithless, unforgiving heart, and the list goes on and on here. We ALL, at times need to take ourselves OFF THE PEDESTAL and put God on there where HE BELONGS! We have to stop acting and behaving as if we are the CREATOR and LET God, through Christ go to work in our lives!! LET it GO!

If you find yourself dealing with any of these issues or areas in your marriage or personal life then you’re not loving your spouse properly. Don’t allow these ungodly things to keep you from being the person/spouse/parent that God wants you to be!

Bring God’s principles into your marriage and learn how to love according to principled acts of love rather than the need to “feel” good with every situation. In other words, LOVE because you are committed to the relationship no matter what, but don’t love because you are needing to be loved back for a feeling. Don’t let marital difficulties hinder how you will love. What does love mean?

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Copyright by Angie Lewis.
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Angie is a noted author of

How Do I Detach From an Alcoholic Spouse?

which gives you and your loved ones the
encouragement and insight you need to overcome.

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