Marriage

Relationships: My "Rights" or God's Will

Proverbs 21:9 NRSV
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
than in a house shared with a contentious wife.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4 NRSV

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21 NRSV

What Do Couples Need From Each Other In Marriage?

What does a wife need from her husband? I can't answer that question for all women, but I do know what I need. I need my husband to be supportive of my endeavors and ideas. I want my husband to realize that the marriage does not center only around him and what he needs, but on what we both need. I want for my husband to make time for me. I want to be put on the top of his priority list, after God, and not on the bottom. Does that sound selfish? It's not selfish when you know that he gets the same treatment from me.

Why Do Marriages Fail?

Marriages do not fail; it is the people in marriage that fail. God would never design a marriage program that failed. God is perfect and He has established perfection in marriage. Marriages fail because we are not taking responsibility for ourselves in the marriage. If we don't work the program, we won't know what to do when trouble strikes, and ultimately we will fail the marriage class.

Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. Proverbs 8:33,34 NIV

When the Wheels Come Off

I grew up in the 70's and 80's when parents still told their kids to go outside and play. My friends and I would spend all day in the yard and when we got hot and sweaty enough we'd run to the back patio, open the water spigot on the side of the house and get down on our hands and knees so we could get low enough to turn our mouths up for a drink of water that splashed all over our faces and down our necks. In the evenings I remember seeing my parents shaking their heads as they watched the oil crises in the 1970's unfold on the nightly news. Gas prices skyrocketed to 73 cents a gallon! "Turn it off," my mother would say to my dad. "Good grief! The wheel's are coming off but they make it sound like the world's ending."

How Can I Trust My Husband Again?

Ask Angie: I am finding it hard to trust my husband again. We've been married for 31 years. this Valentine's day and in year 28 I found out he was heavily into drugs, which he now claims to be free of, but I still have a hard time believing him because of the extent he wants to hide his use. All the lies, deceit, and now the unwillingness to discuss it with me, leaves me with many unanswered questions.

How Can We Balance Recovery and Our Marriage?

Ask Angie: Hello friend in Christ...just wanted to tell you my husband and I have been having issues for a while now. He is in recovery and I am not (although I am not an addict) I need Alanon in my life but find it hard to arrange a ride (no car) and sitter for my 6 yr. old. My husband lives three houses away from our home. I try not to hassle him about time with us but he seems to need time with the AA family more and we really need him to show us emotionally he cares to keep the family together too. I understand he has to stay sober to be a dad/husband of any kind, but to me there is a huge vacancy in our life. I love him with all my heart. We need counseling terribly and church makes me so happy. I'm without a vehicle so life is kind of challenging now.

Questions For Couples

1. What are some of the ways you can learn to not dwell on the negative of your marriage?





2. Do you think there are areas in your marriage that you try and control and change? Write down what those areas are. Now write down alternate ways to handle those areas rather than trying to control or change your spouse.

Areas you now try to control:

a.





b.





c.





What alternate ways can you stop trying to control or change those areas:

a.





b.





c.





Relationships: Trusting God and Not Ourselves

Proverbs 19:5 NRSV
A false witness will not go unpunished,
and a liar will not escape.

Our mouths get us into more trouble than most other things, particularly if we are the kind of people who consider ourselves to be moral. I mean, we would never consider shooting someone or punching them out. But it’s nothing to gossip about them with a co-worker in a hidden corner. Rather than express our anger and fear to someone else, we need to learn how to pray.

Codependency FAQ

What is Codependency?
There are probably as many definitions of codependency as there are people who consider themselves to be codependent. Basically, if you identify with the posts here, and with the info in the books found on the subject, you might consider yourself to be codependent.

In "Codependent No More," Melody Beattie gives several definitions. She includes Earnie Larsen's definition:

    "Those self-defeating, learned behaviors or character defects that result in a diminished capacity to initiate or to participate in loving relationships."

Melody Beattie's own definition is:

Marriage FAQ

The following questions and their answers link to the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (BGEA) web site. This does not imply an endorsement of BGEA and its related ministries by CIR or visa versa.

How can we resolve the problems we are having in our marriage?

My marriage is in shambles since my spouse cheated on me. How do I deal with this?

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