Love

John 8:12 NRSV
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life."

I am by nature probably more like a chicken than any other animal on the planet. I like to wake up with the sun and go to sleep with the sun. In the winter, I like to sleep for long periods of time in the darkness and in the summer, I am up with the light and energetic until the darkness comes. For me, all this is is a quirk of physiology or training or something. It makes it difficult for me to entertain others long into the night because I begin to drop off after nine, but other than that, it is simply a personal eccentricity. We all have them.

Ask Angie: My husband was raised without anyone showing affection and love. I on the other hand, need it. How do I teach him?

Marriage Guidance: I hope that you did not marry your husband in the hopes that you could change him. We can’t change others to meet our needs -- it will not work, especially if that is the way they were raised. This is not to say that people cannot change for the better but this kind of change happens through Christ. When one spouse demands and controls a behavior of the other all it creates is resentment and animosity between them.

Everyday my husband and I will take a long walk together, alone, away from the children, and with no distractions of any kind whatsoever. I call these walks together “special time”. We do this because we don’t want to lose touch with each other; we want to remain close. I believe all couples should dedicate themselves to having special time with their spouse one hour each day.

You don’t have to take walks to enjoy special time. You might want to meet somewhere, for instance. That meeting might be in a café or on a park bench. It doesn’t matter where you are when you have special time, what does matter is that you make special time an intimate moment for the both of you. It is so easy to lose touch with the person we married. Don’t let that happen to you and your spouse.

Loving our spouse is giving them the freedom to be who it is they are. When we love without WANTING anything in return, that is when we have accepted our spouse for being who they are, faults and all.

This of course, doesn’t include iniquitous behavior because if anyone is carrying on and regularly doing things in err against spouse or God, they certainly are not being the person they were meant to be. Therefore, this article does not apply to them.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change!

If codependency is adversely affecting your life and relationships, this booklet will help.

The truth is ALL marriages go through a period of time, usually after a year or two of marriage where the feelings of love seem to be lost…but it is not love that is lost but those giddy feelings that a person has when they experience a new relationship. Love can’t be lost because love is not a feeling but something you do! When a husband says he lost love for his wife, he means to say, “I want that feeling back so I can love my wife”. Couples BASE their marriage on how they feel rather than principled acts of love.

Why do we use the words, “fall in love” or “fall out of love”? What does it really mean to be “in love” with someone? First of all, understand that you cannot fall “in love” or fall “out of love”. Love just becomes what it is when two people spend a lot of time together and get to know each other.

Marriage thrives on intimacy and closeness with one another and when that declines or discontinues couples feel they are no longer “in love” with their spouse, even though they still care for and love their spouse. So what does that mean? It means they are confused about what love really is.

by Andrea Schwartz
Love at first sight may seem to work out perfectly in novels and film, but rarely are first impressions true or lasting. Along with this myth comes the illusion that family background, religious orientation, and lifetime experiences are of little-to-no importance when it comes to committing to lifelong marriage. Young people smitten by the love bug believe the age-old lies that love will keep them together and that love is all they need. However, doing things God's way remains the touchstone for successful covenant marriage.

Ask Angie: If I as a person am #1 who can I help? Love is not self-seeking. If I seek to help myself first who matters after me? If I choose to help others first am I not full filled? Love is the greatest commandment. So why can't we love?

Matthew 22:37-40 NKJV
Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets."

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul admonishes us to seek love over all things, even over faith: