Self-Esteem

Am I Codependent or being a Good Christian?

On the surface, codependency messages sound like Christian teaching:

    "Codependents always put others first before taking care of themselves."
    (Aren't Christians to put others first?) .

    "Codependents give themselves away."
    (Shouldn't Christians do the same?).

"Codependents martyr themselves."
(Doesn't Christianity honor its martyrs?)

Those statements have a familiar ring, don't they? Then how can we distinguish between codependency, which is unhealthy to codependents and their dependents, and mature faith, which is healthy.

Codependency says:.

    I have little or no value.
    Other persons and situations have all the value.

Giving Faith the Victory Over our Fears

A study on Life Controlling Fears

    8:35-37, NKJV
    Then they went out to see what had happened, and came to Jesus, and found the man from whom the demons had departed, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed and in his right mind. And they were afraid. They also who had seen it told them by what means he who had been demon-possessed was healed. Then the whole multitude of the surrounding region of the Gadarenes asked Him to depart from them, for they were seized with great fear. And He got into the boat and returned.

Am I Codependent?

If you think or believe the following statements, it may be a sign that you are codependent:

    My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.

    My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.

    Your struggles affect my serenity. My mental attention is focused on solving your problems or relieving your pain.

    My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.

    My mental attention is focused on protecting you.

    My mental attention is focused on manipulating you "to do it my way."

    My self ­esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.

    My self ­esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.

The Breath of Life: How Do You Feel About Yourself?

Do you like yourself? How do you feel about yourself? How do you view yourself? In the eyes of those around you? Your peers? Your family members? Your employers and the other authority figures in your life? In the eyes of your Lord Jesus Christ?

Personally, for as long as I could remember, I had dwelt beneath a shadow of deep inner shame. Shame that whispered in my ear, tortuously accusing me with words such as, "You are dirty; you are worthless and deserving of punishment; you are unlovable and warrant no merit in this world."

Proverbs 23:7 teaches us that, For as he thinks in his heart, so is he [Amplified Bible]. Like the leper in Luke 5:12, I knew (or so I thought) that I was unclean. However, unlike the leper in Luke 5, I had no idea that Jesus could make me clean, and that He desired to do so. I was lost in a deep ocean of deceit with the waves of false belief tossing me against the sharp and slippery rocks created by the lies of the enemy - Satan - along with many falsehoods from my past without God. Furthermore, I was being dragged beneath the dark surface by the undertow of lack of knowledge:

Affirming My Assets

If I feel that I am defeated and have lost confidence in my ability to win, I need to sit down, take a piece of paper and make a list, not of the factors that are against me, but of those that are for me.

If anybody thinks constantly of the forces that seem to be against him or her, that person will build them up into a power far beyond that which is justified. They will assume a formidable strength which they do not actually possess.

Workshop: Father/daughter, Mother/son Relationships

Looking at how the strengths, weaknesses, and dynamics of relationship with our opposite~sexed primary caregiver affects us as we enter adulthood and pair up with a partner.

  • How our earliest relationships affect our mate selection
  • How we learn from that and look for healthier traits in our adult relationships
  • Why we are attracted to certain kinds of people

Lead by Tracy R. Warring Against Relational Sabotage

Host Welcome to the workshop on Father/daughter, Mother/son relationships Workshop Leader will be sharing with you on ... Reactive Attachment Disorder and ...Looking at how the strengths, weaknesses, and dynamics of relationship with our opposite-sexed primary caregiver affects us as we enter adulthood and pair up with a partner. I will open with prayer..

Motivating Addiction Recovery Program Participants (Part 1)

The more time I spend with rescue mission recovery programs, the more I’ve become convinced that the most important “gift” we can give homeless addicts is community, a place to belong. Homelessness is a state of complete disaffiliation—being cut off from all meaningful and supportive human relationships. Suc­cessful mission residential programs actually provide a supportive “family” environment where homeless addicts can examine their lives and take the difficult initial steps toward a new, sober, and productive life.

There are two other important communities that program participants must become involved with so the process of change begun at the mission continues after they leave. The first is the Church, the Body of Christ, where program graduates experi­ence fellowship with other believers and spiritual nurture.

The second is the recovering community where involvement with support groups for recovering addicts give them a place to continue personal growth through mutual sharing and encour­agement with others who have overcome addiction.

Diamonds, Horses & Grass (poem about Marriage Renewal)

If you find yourself losing the joy in your life
And your blessing is more like a curse
And you wonder what's wrong with that sweet little girl
That you've taken for better or worse,

You look at her now and hear yourself say,
"A11 she does is gripe and complain."
But maybe if you took a look at yourself,
You would find what exactly has changed.

Now, you didn't used to call on that girl
With chicken hanging out of your teeth,
Your pants undone and your hair not combed
With whiskers you've had for a week.

You'd take three baths and put on cologne,
Shine your shoes and wax your car.
Then, you'd stand at a mirror and work on your hair
Till you looked like a Hollywood star.

Do You Know You are Chosen and What it Means?

Psalm 89:3a (NRSV) "I have made a covenant with my chosen one."

There is amazing power in this statement for three reasons. The first is that we -- as God's adopted children -- were chosen by Him! Isn't that wonderful? It's beyond comprehension for me that, at the beginning of creation, even before time began, God looked down at all the souls and chose me! (He chose every person who would respond to His love and His call to salvation). Paul writes:

Just as He chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before Him in love. He destined us for adoption as His children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace that He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:4-6 NRSV

I'm adopted. My birth mom, as I understand it, was an unwed pregnant teen and, with an amazing amount of courage, understood that she was ill prepared to care for a baby. So, my parents who couldn't have children, chose to adopt me. They didn't have to. They could have even come to the hospital, viewed my bald head and tiny feet, and rejected me. But they didn't. Instead, my parents chose me and gave me a wonderful home and childhood.

Quilter from Texas

Quilter from Texas

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