How Do I Say Good-Bye?

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you. Isaiah 43:2 NIV84

The tears ran down my cheeks in never-ending rivers, as congestion choked off my breathing and and rage threatened to overwhelm me. "Why can't I just be calm?" I cried out to Jesus!

I thought I had peace in my heart about my impending Mom's death before she was gone, but now that it had become a reality and the Lord had called her Home, there seemed to be no end to the waves of anxiety, depression, rage, despair, agitation, frustration, and every other emotion but calm that seemed to be rushing at me. I could not understand why, with so much faith in God, and knowing that I had not wanted my beloved mother to suffer, I was so angry now. Then my pastor called to ask me how I was doing, and I honestly shared with him the truth. He prayed that I would allow the Holy Spirit to comfort me in my grieving, and that I would find the acceptance of the Truth that my mother is now in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. That is when it hit me: I was angry at God because I wanted Mom to stop suffering, but I had wanted her to stop suffering here! The Lord had not done things my way, and so I was not accepting her death. And because I was in denial, the rage I was experiencing was preventing me from entering into the loving arms of my Saviour to surrender my emotions to Him. Without that surrender, I could not find peace.

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