ACOA Fantasies

1. That I can control my emotions.

2. That I can control someone else's emotions or actions or thoughts.

3. That I deserve:

. . .to get something good.

. . .to get something bad.

. . .to be punished for mistakes.

. . .to be rewarded for perfection.

. . .to be rewarded for good behavior, intentions, thoughts, feelings, whatever.

4. That I can "make" sense out of anything. ("Making" sense is not the same as "discovering" sense.)

5. That I am responsible for

. . .for outcomes.

. . .for other people's feelings, thoughts or actions.

6. That I am not responsible for my own actions��that it is all someone else's fault.

7. That my feelings have to be acted on. (e.g., when I'm afraid, I should attack or flee.)

8. That I can solve other people's problems��or that they can solve mine. <

9. That wishing or wanting equals doing.

10. That I am capable of a "perfect action."

11. That if I do something somebody doesn't like, even if they are totally unreasonable, I am bad.

12. That if only I had the right tools, I could do it right.

13. That if I do nothing about it��if I can efface myself or disappear�� the problem will go away.

14. That I have to be careful not to make other people angry.

15. That lying changes reality.

16. That other people's expectations of me have to be lived up to.

17. That if only I do the right thing, everything will turn out okay.

18. That if only I think the right thoughts, everything will turn out okay.

19. That if only I feel the right feelings, everything will turn out okay.

20. That those who hurt me deserve to be punished for their "sins," and if God doesn't punish them, I should.

21. That I can punish someone by hurting myself.

22. That if I am "weak" (vulnerable, helpless, needing assistance), then I am just like my dad/mom who I had to care for as a child.

23. That if I sit and do nothing in my chair, I am useless.

24. That I am "wrong," "imperfect," or "not the way I'm supposed to be."

25. That my guilt is the right way of defining myself for God.

26. That my charm is the right way of defining myself for other people.

27. That I can not talk and still get better.

28. That. . .

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