ANON (Those Who Love Dysfunctional People), Info & Help

How to Not Change Your Spouse Premium Content

Loving our spouse is giving them the freedom to be who it is they are. When we love without WANTING anything in return, that is when we have accepted our spouse for being who they are, faults and all.

This of course, doesn’t include iniquitous behavior because if anyone is carrying on and regularly doing things in err against spouse or God, they certainly are not being the person they were meant to be. Therefore, this article does not apply to them.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change!

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What it Means to Detach From the AlcoholicPremium Content

Ask Angie: What can I do as a Christian woman to stop my husband from drinking too much beer? He doesn't think it’s a big deal because he is not drunk and because in his eyes he is a good man.

Ask Angie:What about love? I get the detachment thing, but will the love I still have in me disappear too? That is a fear.

**This marriage column has three marriage videos that go along with it. Listening to these videos will help you get a better understanding about what detachment from addiction really means for you and for the alcoholic. These videos talk in more detail about how to detach with love and to let go...<.em>

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Talking to the Children About the Alcoholic ParentPremium Content

I grew up in an alcoholic environment, but no one ever told me that my step dad was an alcoholic; I thought it was normal for people to drink 10 beers every night. After all he went to work every day, early in the morning and never missed a day of work. How can that be an addiction? Many alcoholics get up early every morning and go to work, have families, and even go to church and profess to be Christian, but none of that can take the addiction away from them -- it only gives them justification to continue to drink.

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Detaching From the AlcoholicPremium Content

Ask Angie: Hi Angie, I was reading your article titled "Do You Love an Alcoholic - Setting Boundaries for You". I'd like to follow these suggestions, but I have some questions. How long should I detach myself before I should move out? We have two kids (3 and 5). How do I go about detaching when we all live together? Should I move me and my kids out for a while? How do I explain to them what's going on?

Marriage Guidance:

How Long Should I Detach Before Moving Out?

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Can You Love in the Midst of Hate?

1 John 2:9-11 NRSV
Whoever says, "I am in the light," while hating a brother or sister, is still in the darkness. Whoever loves a brother or sister lives in the light, and in such a person there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates another believer is in the darkness, walks in the darkness, and does not know the way to go, because the darkness has brought on blindness.

How Alcoholism Controls Your LifePremium Content

It happens without warning. It creeps into your life and all of a sudden, you’re hooked. At first you’re the life of the party, and later you’re the drunk of the party. When you’re young, twenties and thirties, your body can handle all the booze, no problem. But mentally it impairs the way you view and feel the world around you.

Most of the time, alcoholics don’t know that alcohol has taken hold of their life. This is called the denial stage. Alcoholics feel if they can get up and go to work everyday, even though secretly they have an excruciating headache, they don’t have a problem.

But what keeps the alcoholic going throughout the workday is in knowing that after work, they’ll have those highballs or beers, which will in fact; make them feel like their old self again.

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Dealing with Resentment When Living with and Loving an AlcoholicPremium Content

Question: After 30 years of marriage to an alcoholic even as a believer I struggle with resentment towards my husband. I know that is as great a sin as the alcoholism, which leaves me feeling like I am no better than he. This causes me to freeze up when it comes to asking God for healing in his life and I feel all bottled up unable to even pray. Most of the time all I can do is cry as I have begun right now. God gives me peace daily and I know HE loves me personally. I do feel isolated as going to church I can't participate in married functions nor do I qualify for singles events. The Lord gave me 6 children that have filled my life with busy years of which are about over.

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Sexual Intimacy With Alcoholic Husband: Setting Personal BoundariesPremium Content

Question: I am having a really hard time deciding on appropriate boundaries for me and what would be in his best interest as well. I have explained in the past that my husband is typically much sweeter when he has drank and easier to get along with, unless a conflict arises. Most evenings he will have a few beers before he comes home from work (I'm not sure how many) and whenever we have date nights he orders a few beers or margaritas. We went to a Christian marriage counselor in the past and he was helping us come up with a compromise in this area. He thought a good one would ask my husband to limit his drinks to two when we are out on a date or a social gathering or whatever. Do you think this is a good boundary or should I require no drinking when we are out together?

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How Can We Turn our Suffering into Joy?

Is it even possible to turn our suffering into joy? I believe it is because I have done it many times. The joy we feel while in the midst of suffering is our connection to God and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit within us!

In Romans 5:3 it says that we should be rejoicing in our sufferings. What does that mean? It means that Christians will face difficulties in this life, throughout their lives, and through those difficulties, if they remain faithful to God, they spiritually grow and build Godly Christian character in the Lord.

"Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery" - Workshop TranscriptPremium Content

note: You may discuss this workshop in the Message Boards HERE

Obie-Host Welcome to the "Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery" Workshop
Please join me in welcoming Chaplain Michael Clark who will be leading the workshop. He is involved with Shadows of the Cross Ministries as well as Prison and Recovery Ministry. Chaplain Clark is a noted Speaker and Writer, Addiction Counselor/Professional as well as a Recovery Support Specialist. He will speak for several minutes after which we will open the floor for questions and comments from you for Chaplain Clark.

Let us open in prayer this evening.

Heavenly Father,
We ask Your blessings upon Chaplain Clark as he leads this workshop today.

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