ANON (Those Who Love Dysfunctional People)

Do the Faults of Others Bother You?


There is a duty of fault-finding. The Master Himself teaches it. In the Sermon on the Mount, He makes it very plain. We must note carefully, however, where the duty begins. We are to look first after our own faults. "Why do you look at the mote that is in your brother's eye--but do not consider the beam that is in your own eye?"

We must consider the beam that is in our own eye!

"Excuses" - Workshop Transcript

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How Can I Forgive When It Hurts So Bad?

I know it hurts. It hurts so bad we don’t want to forgive. The pain is unbearable at times and all we really want to do is get revenge, or keep wallowing in the pain that our feelings give us and remain resentful and angry. This is such a common problem in marriage today, so I feel it is worth more than rubies and gold to keep writing about it.

Offering Unsolicited Advice

How should you offer unsolicited advice? You shouldn’t.

This morning I rode a bike trail that includes an underpass and a particularly steep ramp. It’s one of my favorite routes, but for me that ramp is a killer. No matter how hard I try I can never get quite enough momentum to crank to the crest. I always stall just before reaching the top, so I have to just hold myself steady, make sure I don’t roll backward, and inch my way the final three or four feet.

So this morning I was maintaining my stalled position and creeping forward when a guy rolled past. He called over his shoulder, “You should shift to a lower gear before climbing a hill.”

Wow. If only I’d known…

Detach with Love from the Alcoholic

To detach with love from the alcoholic means to not allow what they do while drinking harm your emotional and or spiritual well being.
Detaching with love is something learned that over time becomes a habit-a good habit actually.

To understand how detaching with love works, we must first understand what not detaching is, and what it does to us, as well as the alcoholic you live with. When we don't detach we get angry, resentful, and sometimes fearful over the behaviors of the alcoholic. This happens because we are "too" consumed with the behaviors of the alcoholic or better known as the symptoms of the drinking.

Don’t Make Me Your Project

What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like. Saint Augustine

“I hate feeling like I’m someone else’s project!”

I’d just finished sharing part of my story with the group. I expressed my gratitude for the people who wove the story of Relentless Grace and my belief that God sent this small circle of folks who refused to let me quit on life.

Why Bother Helping People Who Hurt You: Puppies & Porcupines

Yesterday I asked How Do You Help An Injured Porcupine? Today I’m thinking of a different question:

Why bother?

Ever cuddle a puppy? They curl up in your lap and lick your face. Everything about a puppy is somehow warm and soft and fuzzy.

Cuddling a puppy is fun and rewarding. Puppies do cute stuff—even their mischief elicits smiles. They appreciate and respond to kindness. They trust. If you get angry they forgive.

Even non-dog-lovers have a soft spot for puppies. If hurting people were like puppies, helping them would be easy. Folks would line up for the opportunity.

Shine Your Light: Don't Force Unbelievers

If you accidentally married, or are going to marry someone who is an unbeliever, or who says they are a believer, but behaves differently, you cannot make them believe like you after marriage. You cannot plead, coax, bribe, yell, intimidate, or push your spouse into going to church, reading the bible, or accepting Jesus for their life. The more you push, the more they pull away.

How To Change Another Person

river runs through itWhy is it the people who need the most help… won’t take it? Norman Maclean (A River Runs Through It)

Who’s that person in your life who needs to change?

Perhaps a boss bullies and controls or fosters chaos through indecisiveness. Maybe a coworker refuses to communicate or a friend follows a self-destructive path. Possibly a child breaks your heart with obviously bad decisions or a spouse drifts silently away.

Why is Life So Unfair?

Do you ever wonder why life is so unfair?

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