ANON (Those Who Love Dysfunctional People)

How Alcoholism Controls Your Life

It happens without warning. It creeps into your life and all of a sudden, you’re hooked. At first you’re the life of the party, and later you’re the drunk of the party. When you’re young, twenties and thirties, your body can handle all the booze, no problem. But mentally it impairs the way you view and feel the world around you.

Most of the time, alcoholics don’t know that alcohol has taken hold of their life. This is called the denial stage. Alcoholics feel if they can get up and go to work everyday, even though secretly they have an excruciating headache, they don’t have a problem.

But what keeps the alcoholic going throughout the workday is in knowing that after work, they’ll have those highballs or beers, which will in fact; make them feel like their old self again.

Dealing with Resentment When Living with and Loving an Alcoholic

Question: After 30 years of marriage to an alcoholic even as a believer I struggle with resentment towards my husband. I know that is as great a sin as the alcoholism, which leaves me feeling like I am no better than he. This causes me to freeze up when it comes to asking God for healing in his life and I feel all bottled up unable to even pray. Most of the time all I can do is cry as I have begun right now. God gives me peace daily and I know HE loves me personally. I do feel isolated as going to church I can't participate in married functions nor do I qualify for singles events. The Lord gave me 6 children that have filled my life with busy years of which are about over.

Sexual Intimacy With Alcoholic Husband: Setting Personal Boundaries

Question: I am having a really hard time deciding on appropriate boundaries for me and what would be in his best interest as well. I have explained in the past that my husband is typically much sweeter when he has drank and easier to get along with, unless a conflict arises. Most evenings he will have a few beers before he comes home from work (I'm not sure how many) and whenever we have date nights he orders a few beers or margaritas. We went to a Christian marriage counselor in the past and he was helping us come up with a compromise in this area. He thought a good one would ask my husband to limit his drinks to two when we are out on a date or a social gathering or whatever. Do you think this is a good boundary or should I require no drinking when we are out together?

How Can We Turn our Suffering into Joy?

Is it even possible to turn our suffering into joy? I believe it is because I have done it many times. The joy we feel while in the midst of suffering is our connection to God and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit within us!

In Romans 5:3 it says that we should be rejoicing in our sufferings. What does that mean? It means that Christians will face difficulties in this life, throughout their lives, and through those difficulties, if they remain faithful to God, they spiritually grow and build Godly Christian character in the Lord.

"Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery" - Workshop Transcript

note: You may discuss this workshop in the Message Boards HERE

Obie-Host Welcome to the "Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery" Workshop
Please join me in welcoming Chaplain Michael Clark who will be leading the workshop. He is involved with Shadows of the Cross Ministries as well as Prison and Recovery Ministry. Chaplain Clark is a noted Speaker and Writer, Addiction Counselor/Professional as well as a Recovery Support Specialist. He will speak for several minutes after which we will open the floor for questions and comments from you for Chaplain Clark.

Let us open in prayer this evening.

Heavenly Father,
We ask Your blessings upon Chaplain Clark as he leads this workshop today.

How Do I Detach From an Alcoholic Spouse?


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To detach with love from the alcoholic means to not allow what they do while drinking harm your emotional and or spiritual well being.

Detaching with love is something learned that over time becomes a habit-a good habit actually.

How Can I Deal with My Alcoholic Spouse?

Ask Angie: I have been married to an alcoholic for 16 years. I have detached in love and have been very active in my church and creating a life for me and my children outside of the alcoholism. The alcoholic in my life doesn't seem to mind any of this and it actually seems to relieve him from the responsibility to be a dad and husband. He does work hard on his job and so he feels that’s all of his responsibility and likes when he's home to drink all day and play video games and ignore us. I hate being with him. It's a very lonely marriage. My two older children are becoming more upset by his lack of desire to be with them.

Passing Judgment on Others

Do not judge according to appearance,
but judge with righteous judgment.
John 7:24

Have you noticed that one of the most popular and oft-quoted verses from the Bible is some sort of mutilation of the admonition not to judge? This is particularly popular with those who are not familiar with the Scriptures and/or want to justify their own behavior. But does the Bible really teach us not to judge, or does it simply give us guidelines in how to judge correctly?

Stop Rescuing the Alcoholic and Start Rescuing You

Ask Angie: Dear Angie, I have been married to an alcoholic husband for eight years now and we have two young children together. We have taken marriage courses and I have been reading the Love Dare. I have tried the detach method but it is difficult since he starts drinking every day at around 9 or 10 in the morning (since he was laid off over six months ago) and drinks until he goes to bed which is usually midnight. If I don't talk to him when he's drinking he gets angry. How can I make the detachment work in this situation and how can I protect our children from his anger?

Loving the Unlovable

Matthew 22:37-40 NKJV
Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets."

In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul admonishes us to seek love over all things, even over faith:

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