Reconciliation

I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I'm 36 now...

I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I'm 36 now. No one knows about this secret, except for the one person who was hosting the Same Sex Attraction (SSA) Meeting last night.

I feel as though the Holy Spirit came and held me and then whispered in my ears (and fingers) to share...to go ahead and get it off my quiet little mind.

I feel as though I experienced a miracle here at Christians in Recovery so that is why I want to share this with you... I think if I experienced a miracle in my life that I'm to share it with everyone here at cir.... because God has given me Christians in Recovery (CIR) in my life to help me grow and heal. It's been a journey these past 3-4 years here.

The Mountains have been Marvelous, But the Valleys were Killers

My name is Sharon. I have been in recovery from childhood trauma for seven years. The mountains have been marvelous, but the valleys were killers. However, with each up and down I grew in faith. On November 14, I was in a low valley. I felt no one understand the pain of my heart. The only person who understood was my counselor, but she was paid to understand. I needed a Christian brother or sister who had walked before me. I decided I would end it all by taking an overdose.

God had another plan. While in the hospital the Lord spoke to me, and pointed out that I had accepted Jesus as my Savior, but never in my 40 some odd years, had I ever really trusted God with my days, not even one moment. Well, I left the hospital determined to find the heart of God.

I was Drowning

To tell what CIR has meant to me is to tell a story of survival - a life saved - spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

I do not consider it a mere coincidence or stroke of luck as to how I came to find Christians in Recovery. I have no doubts whatsoever that God led me directly to this wonderful place. I was literally losing my life, drowning in a sea of addictions, SSA, depression, and drugs... all the effects of past sexual abuse.

I was Close to Hell, Then Jesus Set Me Free

When Jesus saved me I was close to hell
The devil had me in a deep dark well
Yes I found Jesus or did He find me
It doesn't matter, He set me free

Now the road I'm walkin' ain't all up hill
As I try to follow my saviors will
yes I found Jesus or did He find me
It doesn't matter, He set me free

He guides my footsteps He leads the way
and I will follow come what may
Yes I found Jesus or did He find me
It doesn't matter, He set me free

22 Years of Active Addiction

My story is really way to long for me to share my 22 years as a prescription addicted to opiates, sedatives, hypnotics, barbiturates, and marijuana. I can tell you however that I am now 47 years old, and in the process of getting my Chemical Dependency Counselors license in Texas. I am also a licensed southern baptist preacher. I have been clean five years.

At one time in my life, scoring and cracking scripts was all I did. The final two years of my addiction darn near cost me my life, as well as my whole family. My wife and I have been married 15 years. The first 10 were spent in drug addiction. Both of us strung out.

Jesus answered my hearts desire to be clean, and delivered me, and my wife on the same day. I haven't looked back since.

I had 14 Felony Counts

I had to walk through tough times with the courts. I had 14 felony counts. Three counts of sales, loaded handgun, stolen property etc.... When I had my day in court, I was 5 months clean and sober, with two treatment facilities under my belt. I was sentenced to 1 year county jail (not prison) and three years felony probation. The effort I put forth on "changing" my lifestyle (before my court date) made a big difference in the way the Courts, Probation and the District Attorney viewed my case. This year in jail was probably the best thing that happened to me. I see now that I was not arrested, I was rescued.

Jailed Twice Before I was 18 for Selling Drugs

I grew up in an alcoholic family. Both my father and my mother came from alcoholic homes as well. I lost a brother to a drunk driving accident. He was 24. Because I grew up in such a very chaotic home, I was running the streets from an early age.

I had my first drinking experience was when I was just twelve years old. I was "turned on" to pot at age fourteen, and went to jail twice for selling marijuana, hashish, and LSD, before I was eighteen years old.

Living a Double Standard

My feelings of guilt and shame towards a same-sex attraction began at an early age. I experienced frequent sexual abuse from an older male friend during most of my teen years, and hustling for money soon followed.

Years later, I was baptized in a Mennonite Brethren church as a public declaration that I would follow Christ. My secret desire was that maybe now my attraction and sexual fantasies towards men would disappear. They didn't, and the fantasies soon turned into years of acting out behaviours.

God's Plan for Us: A Family of Love

IN THE PROCESS OF RECOVERY
Often, those of us who struggle with issues relating to your behavior, fail to realize that recovery is a process, not a goal that once reached we think that we do not have to put out an effort. Paul writes in 2 Timothy 4:7-8, that he has ran a good race, and finished the course, and have kept the faith. What a wonderful statement. Paul was describing the process of life.

In Sickness and in Health

When does a person think about health? For me, this question surfaced when I was sick, when I was far from healthy. For years I thought I was a healthy person. My doctors had declared how healthy and strong I was for my age. Then, very much to my surprise, I discovered that I had cancer. Health flew from my mind and disease and debilitation and death took health's place. The plain and simple fact that a biopsy had found a significant cancer in my body immediately effected my identity. My sense of self was instantaneously altered . I became, from that hour of discovery, different. I was no longer healthy. Who was I? I was no longer even myself, but a cancer victim, and might soon become a cancer survivor. Whatever the outcome of this dread discovery, I thought I would never be the same.

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