Reconciliation

22 Years of Active Addiction

My story is really way to long for me to share my 22 years as a prescription addicted to opiates, sedatives, hypnotics, barbiturates, and marijuana. I can tell you however that I am now 47 years old, and in the process of getting my Chemical Dependency Counselors license in Texas. I am also a licensed southern baptist preacher. I have been clean five years.

At one time in my life, scoring and cracking scripts was all I did. The final two years of my addiction darn near cost me my life, as well as my whole family. My wife and I have been married 15 years. The first 10 were spent in drug addiction. Both of us strung out.

Jesus answered my hearts desire to be clean, and delivered me, and my wife on the same day. I haven't looked back since.

I had 14 Felony Counts

I had to walk through tough times with the courts. I had 14 felony counts. Three counts of sales, loaded handgun, stolen property etc.... When I had my day in court, I was 5 months clean and sober, with two treatment facilities under my belt. I was sentenced to 1 year county jail (not prison) and three years felony probation. The effort I put forth on "changing" my lifestyle (before my court date) made a big difference in the way the Courts, Probation and the District Attorney viewed my case. This year in jail was probably the best thing that happened to me. I see now that I was not arrested, I was rescued.

I Consumed 40 oz. of Liquor per Day, Was Lost and Undone

I was lost and undone until I met His Son, when he reached down His hand for me. I will be a Christian in Recovery for 19 years. I don't tell you this to boast in any way, because I certainly didn't accomplish this miracle, God did. I'd tired every thing anyone could do and I couldn't stop drinking. I drank a 40 oz. bottle every day of my life just to survive.

I Am Taking the Steps

At a time in my life when I couldn't see clearly, Christians in Recovery helped me to take the steps I needed to take. I am in counseling right now because of someone from CIR leading me to the place where I received help to find a counselor. I have come really far through the help of CIR and especially through Christ Jesus.

Right now I am taking the steps that I need to take. For the first time in years I went to a church. If I can do that with His help I am positive that I will be able to go back to work in time. It is written I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

This comes from a woman who used to think she couldn't do anything, and actually she can't but praise Jesus because HE can!!

The Potter and the Clay

The sky was clear, such a beautiful day, a good day for a bike ride with Joshua. We will ride and be happy, we will ride and be happy, we will ride and be happy! I remember those days, how good I felt just to see the happy face of my boy. Those days I could find contentment in so many simple things of life. There is an emptiness somewhere. If I can't fill the void with the joys of living, I once felt, I think I will die in my addiction. I struggle for the joy of living. The great simple joys of life have been torn from me by the thief of addiction. I will not ride and be happy; not for a long time.

Peter and Pot

I began smoking pot eight years ago when I was fourteen years old. Prior to my smoking pot, I was considered a very bright and "gifted" child. Even in elementary school I was placed in advanced classes. I started to smoke pot for several reasons. Although my parents seemed to be very functional people, I found out my mother is schizophrenic. She had been diagnosed schizophrenic many years before I was even born, but she had been stable and very functional all my life, until this point. I also happened to be very involved in the heavy metal music of the day.

Jailed Twice Before I was 18 for Selling Drugs

I grew up in an alcoholic family. Both my father and my mother came from alcoholic homes as well. I lost a brother to a drunk driving accident. He was 24. Because I grew up in such a very chaotic home, I was running the streets from an early age.

I had my first drinking experience was when I was just twelve years old. I was "turned on" to pot at age fourteen, and went to jail twice for selling marijuana, hashish, and LSD, before I was eighteen years old.

Living a Double Standard

My feelings of guilt and shame towards a same-sex attraction began at an early age. I experienced frequent sexual abuse from an older male friend during most of my teen years, and hustling for money soon followed.

Years later, I was baptized in a Mennonite Brethren church as a public declaration that I would follow Christ. My secret desire was that maybe now my attraction and sexual fantasies towards men would disappear. They didn't, and the fantasies soon turned into years of acting out behaviours.

God's Plan for Us: A Family of Love

IN THE PROCESS OF RECOVERY
Often, those of us who struggle with issues relating to your behavior, fail to realize that recovery is a process, not a goal that once reached we think that we do not have to put out an effort. Paul writes in 2 Timothy 4:7-8, that he has ran a good race, and finished the course, and have kept the faith. What a wonderful statement. Paul was describing the process of life.

In Sickness and in Health

When does a person think about health? For me, this question surfaced when I was sick, when I was far from healthy. For years I thought I was a healthy person. My doctors had declared how healthy and strong I was for my age. Then, very much to my surprise, I discovered that I had cancer. Health flew from my mind and disease and debilitation and death took health's place. The plain and simple fact that a biopsy had found a significant cancer in my body immediately effected my identity. My sense of self was instantaneously altered . I became, from that hour of discovery, different. I was no longer healthy. Who was I? I was no longer even myself, but a cancer victim, and might soon become a cancer survivor. Whatever the outcome of this dread discovery, I thought I would never be the same.

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