Peace/Serenity

I am Freed from Being a Lesbian

Some of you, my friends, have asked me, "How did God or what circumstances did He use to free me from being a bi-sexual/lesbian?"

When I first came on the Internet, I didn't really tell anyone right away about my problem of being a lesbian. All my life I had wanted to change this part of me. I couldn't stand being a lesbian, with all those perverted thoughts and images and (yes doing the act with a woman) going on in my head. I knew there had to be a way to be free from it, but didn't know how to be set free. I couldn't talk about it to anyone for fear of being rejected, unloved, and even neglected especially by GOD.

I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I'm 36 now...

I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I'm 36 now. No one knows about this secret, except for the one person who was hosting the Same Sex Attraction (SSA) Meeting last night.

I feel as though the Holy Spirit came and held me and then whispered in my ears (and fingers) to share...to go ahead and get it off my quiet little mind.

I feel as though I experienced a miracle here at Christians in Recovery so that is why I want to share this with you... I think if I experienced a miracle in my life that I'm to share it with everyone here at cir.... because God has given me Christians in Recovery (CIR) in my life to help me grow and heal. It's been a journey these past 3-4 years here.

The Mountains have been Marvelous, But the Valleys were Killers

My name is Sharon. I have been in recovery from childhood trauma for seven years. The mountains have been marvelous, but the valleys were killers. However, with each up and down I grew in faith. On November 14, I was in a low valley. I felt no one understand the pain of my heart. The only person who understood was my counselor, but she was paid to understand. I needed a Christian brother or sister who had walked before me. I decided I would end it all by taking an overdose.

God had another plan. While in the hospital the Lord spoke to me, and pointed out that I had accepted Jesus as my Savior, but never in my 40 some odd years, had I ever really trusted God with my days, not even one moment. Well, I left the hospital determined to find the heart of God.

I was Drowning

To tell what CIR has meant to me is to tell a story of survival - a life saved - spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

I do not consider it a mere coincidence or stroke of luck as to how I came to find Christians in Recovery. I have no doubts whatsoever that God led me directly to this wonderful place. I was literally losing my life, drowning in a sea of addictions, SSA, depression, and drugs... all the effects of past sexual abuse.

I Consumed 40 oz. of Liquor per Day, Was Lost and Undone

I was lost and undone until I met His Son, when he reached down His hand for me. I will be a Christian in Recovery for 19 years. I don't tell you this to boast in any way, because I certainly didn't accomplish this miracle, God did. I'd tired every thing anyone could do and I couldn't stop drinking. I drank a 40 oz. bottle every day of my life just to survive.

The Potter and the Clay

The sky was clear, such a beautiful day, a good day for a bike ride with Joshua. We will ride and be happy, we will ride and be happy, we will ride and be happy! I remember those days, how good I felt just to see the happy face of my boy. Those days I could find contentment in so many simple things of life. There is an emptiness somewhere. If I can't fill the void with the joys of living, I once felt, I think I will die in my addiction. I struggle for the joy of living. The great simple joys of life have been torn from me by the thief of addiction. I will not ride and be happy; not for a long time.

Peter and Pot

I began smoking pot eight years ago when I was fourteen years old. Prior to my smoking pot, I was considered a very bright and "gifted" child. Even in elementary school I was placed in advanced classes. I started to smoke pot for several reasons. Although my parents seemed to be very functional people, I found out my mother is schizophrenic. She had been diagnosed schizophrenic many years before I was even born, but she had been stable and very functional all my life, until this point. I also happened to be very involved in the heavy metal music of the day.

I Realized I was No Longer in Control

My name is Michael, and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for over 15 years now. I once said this: "Almost from day one I was scared and I have been scared ever since." That is not true anymore. Yes, I do have fear, but I know, in Jesus name, where that fear comes from and how to handle it. Knowing this is a miracle. I once hid behind alcohol and other things in order to avoid the fear.

God Worked Powerfully in My Life

In the late sixties, long before I committed to follow the Lord, God delivered me from an intense IV Meth addiction. There were no withdrawal symptoms of any kind, I simply stopped.

In the mid-seventies, I lived in a hippie-type community in Pennsylvania. I smoked as many packs of cigarettes a day as I could get my hands on. Filtered or non-filtered, it didn't matter. When I ran out of cigarettes, I rolled my own with Blue Bugler, the cheapest package tobacco you could by at that time. I looked physically fit, but every morning, I woke up congested with phlegm and I could not walk up a flight of stairs without stopping several times to catch my breath.

Living a Double Standard

My feelings of guilt and shame towards a same-sex attraction began at an early age. I experienced frequent sexual abuse from an older male friend during most of my teen years, and hustling for money soon followed.

Years later, I was baptized in a Mennonite Brethren church as a public declaration that I would follow Christ. My secret desire was that maybe now my attraction and sexual fantasies towards men would disappear. They didn't, and the fantasies soon turned into years of acting out behaviours.

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