Honesty

I Had to Choose Between Death and Life

"I'm not an Alcoholic, you are! Don't try to push your problem on me..." Sound familiar? This is what "they" call denial and I had it BAD. It wasn't until the good LORD broke me, that I faced up to the truth. I have a problem. Alcohol is NOT my friend.

I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior but my walk really began six months before that when I had only two choices... death or life. Since I chose life, I had to make major changes. STOP Drinking had top billing. It's amazing how the other changes began falling into place after that... only something was missing. I began going to church, but I was missing something... was it my attitude? I thought, if I can find young people like me, I'll be okay. HA HA

I Always had Those "Feelings" When Growing Up

I grew up in a very small town of about 600 people. My parents are saved and we always had all kinds of missionaries, special speakers from around come and stay with us. Our home was never quiet :) From a very age I heard the Word of GOD preached and we always went to church every time the doors would open. At age 4 I thought that is how I would get into heaven by going to church, being a "good girl" and by doing works. I never really believed or accepted Christ as Savior until much later. Everybody in my hometown knew everybody's else's business.

I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I'm 36 now...

I have been keeping a secret since I was 7, I'm 36 now. No one knows about this secret, except for the one person who was hosting the Same Sex Attraction (SSA) Meeting last night.

I feel as though the Holy Spirit came and held me and then whispered in my ears (and fingers) to share...to go ahead and get it off my quiet little mind.

I feel as though I experienced a miracle here at Christians in Recovery so that is why I want to share this with you... I think if I experienced a miracle in my life that I'm to share it with everyone here at cir.... because God has given me Christians in Recovery (CIR) in my life to help me grow and heal. It's been a journey these past 3-4 years here.

My Dance with the Bottle

Hi, my name is Rob.

I was born in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I lived all my school years here and then went into the Army when I was 19. I gave my life to Christ when I was 14. Then began a long uphill battle. I was extremely shy in school and was always trying to find a place to fit in. I experimented with drugs, but they scared me too much. Then came alcohol. I went to a party when I was in the 12th grade. They had beer, I drank, I got drunk, I got sick.... I cooled it for awhile after that, and tried to stay on the straight and narrow with God. I got baptized and became a member of a church. I was happy with Jesus in my heart.

I had 14 Felony Counts

I had to walk through tough times with the courts. I had 14 felony counts. Three counts of sales, loaded handgun, stolen property etc.... When I had my day in court, I was 5 months clean and sober, with two treatment facilities under my belt. I was sentenced to 1 year county jail (not prison) and three years felony probation. The effort I put forth on "changing" my lifestyle (before my court date) made a big difference in the way the Courts, Probation and the District Attorney viewed my case. This year in jail was probably the best thing that happened to me. I see now that I was not arrested, I was rescued.

Remind Me Not to Use Pot!

My sister is a pot user, so was my ex. Matter of fact they still are. I was fortunate or not fortunate... depending on how I want to look at it, of living with them both.

Examples of what is NOT happening.

My sister felt so good after awhile that she forgot everything she was supposed to remember. She finally had to get one of those things that record your voice and play it back to herself to remember. I wished as I lived with her that she could remember many things she forgot...like how to be human and how to care for her kids. But I guess the recorder didn't have that much space on it.

My ex used to forget how to get home or that he was married at all. I should have remembered for him to get one of those recorders, maybe that would have saved our marriage.

Get to a MeetingPremium Content

If you want to remain clean and sober, I suggest that you get to a meeting, and frequently.

Early in my recovery, there was one thing that I did tire of – the act of defending myself. I was so occupied with convincing others that I was not using, it seemed certain that I was. So, in the hopes of eliminating that annoyance, I started going to meetings. I chose to do doing something that came highly recommended – I began to just listen. I'm not saying that you shouldn't share, but in the beginning just sit quietly and pay attention. The first couple of meetings may surprise you. With the exception of one or two, the people around you look normal, healthy, content, satisfied, and to some degree – successful. They do not look like winos, drunkards, junkies, or residents of skid row.

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Forgiveness of Yourself

You are not a failure. You are a Christian in recovery who failed. Satan wants you to forget what you have accomplished so far and to focus on a few moments of inappropriate behavior. Jesus wants you to focus on Him!

"I am in a Bible study and I feel I should give up this privelege."

No way! That is Satan talking to you again. Stay in the Word.
Pray and commune with God. Ask for forgiveness and then accept His grace and mercy.

  • Ask the LORD to forgive and cleanse you of your error.
    Isaiah 1:18
    Come now, let us reason together,"
    says the LORD.
    "Though your sins are like scarlet,
    they shall be as white as snow;
    though they are red as crimson,
    they shall be like wool.

Does Your Pride Deceive You?Premium Content

The pride of your heart has deceived you. Obadiah 1:3

We know that most portions of the Scriptures were written to specific groups of people, but we also know that God's Word is timeless and His instructions applicable to our lives today.

I was struck with that reminder the other day when I read the words in Obadiah: "The pride of your heart has deceived you." I nearly fell from my chair at the implications -- not that I didn't already know how pride can harden our hearts and steer us into sin, but I suddenly realized that EVERY TIME I have been deceived, it has been because of pride.

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Time for a Heart CheckPremium Content

And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many. Hebrews 9:27-28

Years ago I had my then preschool-age granddaughter with me when I made a stop at the cemetery to deliver some flowers. My granddaughter was naturally curious about what sort of place a "sembletery" was, so I did my best to explain. As we read a few markers and headstones, I told her what the dates meant, and we figured the ages of a few of the deceased.

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