Honesty

Colossians 3:12-17 NRSV
As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

November, traditionally in America, is the month where we turn our thoughts toward being thankful. One of the things I’ve been enjoying on Facebook are the many who are daily listing the things for which they are thankful. In a cynical world, thankfulness silences the critics and raises one’s spirit.

Psalm 119:74 NRSV
Those who fear You shall see me and rejoice, because I have hoped in Your word.

I want people to like me. I mean, I really want people to like me. I think many of us do. It’s a natural thing, to want to be liked and accepted. But more than that, whether consciously or unconsciously, we all work at trying to create a culture around us that’s comfortable. We want our friends and associates to share our morals, values, and habits. And it becomes uncomfortable when we find ourselves planted within a group of people with whom we have little of value in common.

As you take inventory you will be tempted to become defensive. Our life patterns are part of us. When we start to look at them honestly for the first time in our lives, our immediate reaction is to dig in our heels and try to justify our past behavior.

In the fourth step you have to be relentlessly honest. You have to look at yourself objectively and refuse to defend anything that is wrong in your life (past or present). The first step out of your dark pit and into the light and victory starts with complete honesty.

I grew up in an alcoholic environment, but no one ever told me that my step dad was an alcoholic; I thought it was normal for people to drink 10 beers every night. After all he went to work every day, early in the morning and never missed a day of work. How can that be an addiction? Many alcoholics get up early every morning and go to work, have families, and even go to church and profess to be Christian, but none of that can take the addiction away from them -- it only gives them justification to continue to drink.

This is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him while we are walking in darkness, we lie and do not do what is true. 1 John 1:5-6 NRSV

Honesty and lies. These aren't topics much talked about these days. In fact, it may be that the American culture is on its way to being completely delusional, believing that lies are the truth simply because it's what we believe.

Everyone can benefit from a good Sponsor/Sponsee relationship. It can be invaluable to have a recovery buddy with whom you are accountable. There are many benefits of sponsorship. A sponsor/recovery buddy should be an emotional safe haven who provides support and guidance.

Some recovery relationships simply peter out because of family obligations, conflicting goals, stress at work or lack of shared values. Others might be destroyed by deceit or manipulation on the part of one or both parties.

Denial is actually a defense mechanism implemented to protect us, to keep the mind solvent in lieu of perceived danger. It's a form of personalized reframing, neuro-linguistic manipulation meant to increase survivability. Yet many of us turn it into a catalyst which allows us to continue our voluntary journey into perdition.

Denial is the ability to lie to one's self in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It is the ability to delude one's self with reasonable to superb success. Only when denial diminishes does character take root.

And, once again, character is identified and maintained by one's personal beliefs.

It happens without warning. It creeps into your life and all of a sudden, you’re hooked. At first you’re the life of the party, and later you’re the drunk of the party. When you’re young, twenties and thirties, your body can handle all the booze, no problem. But mentally it impairs the way you view and feel the world around you.

Most of the time, alcoholics don’t know that alcohol has taken hold of their life. This is called the denial stage. Alcoholics feel if they can get up and go to work everyday, even though secretly they have an excruciating headache, they don’t have a problem.

But what keeps the alcoholic going throughout the workday is in knowing that after work, they’ll have those highballs or beers, which will in fact; make them feel like their old self again.

A mentor/recovery buddy/sponsor can provide vital support, encouragement and accountability during the eating disorder recovery process. And what a difference that can make to the sponsee. However, it's important to understand the role of a sponsor - what does he or she does and does not do.

A quality mentor/recovery buddy/sponsor has good listening skills and the ability to tune into what the sponsee is feeling. A sponsor provides a safe place to talk so the sponsee can feel comfortable sharing his or her needs.