Honesty

The Trigger of Grief

In the work of recovery, we address the danger of triggers. Its very word itself suggests the power to cause us harm:

"Something that precipitates a particular event or situation; To set off; initiate; To fire or explode."


On one August morning of 2003, I encounter such a trigger. The phone rang. My dad was dead.

My grief, for the next year and a half, was an alarming, unexpected reality. And each subsequent "anniversary" proves equally tricky also. Both defy what I thought I would - or should - be experiencing.

After all, coming from an abusive childhood, I didn't think the loss of this pain-inflicting parent would register as significantly as it did.

Are You a "Cutter" and Don't Even Know It?

Are you a "cutter" and don't even know it?

Self-injury, largely through the behavior of "cutting," is often experienced, in tandem with disordered eating.

But, I am putting it out there, that almost all of us are affected with this harmful condition in one way or another. Sound like an exaggeration?

How else do you explain the many self-inflicted, tormenting thoughts, words or deeds we engage in, on a daily basis.

Have you ever been on a diet? Have you ever said to yourself or others, "I'm too fat?"

Self-created Hells

Let all things be done decently and in order. 1 Corinthians 14:40

Internet surfer that I am, I recently came across a meme which could be described as a drama queen's motto:

"I don't want to be overdramatic. But today felt like a hundred days in hell."


Yes, within the faith community, it is often agreed eternal torment is some kind of reality, even if it is beyond our finite minds.

Nevertheless, we do ourselves a large disservice to ignore our own self-created and contained versions of this most unpleasant torture. For indeed, even those pious Christian versions of us need to admit something hardly "Christ-like" or flattering. Sometimes we like to create our own little Hells. And then we further enjoy tossing others - and ourselves - INTO them.

Know the Difference: Healthy or Unhealthy Support System?

"Know the difference between those who stay to feed the soil and those who come to grab the fruit."


This sobering statement recently came to my attention. I don't know who originally said it, but it resonates, all the same.

It has personally factored in heavily as I have learned, firsthand, who was a part of my healthy support system...and who was NOT.

Indeed, this concept plays a MAJOR role for each of us as we navigate our addiction/recovery journeys. It is usually not too long in life, before we encounter the all too common cliché dysfunction of co-dependency, narcissism and/or exploitation.

Reconciliation A Process of Re-Connecting With God

A PROCESS OF CHANGE
The word "reconciliation" refers to the process of recognizing that we have the desire to do what is good, but we cannot carry it out and the process of recognizing that it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. The bottom line is that it is not our process but God's process. He can do a much better job of changing something thoroughly and He can adjust everything to His standard.

The Mentality of Addiction (Switching Addictions)

In a recent Time magazine essay, Lance Morrow writes that "the mentality of addiction, of alcoholism, prevails in zones of American life even when no drugs are involved." How true! This means, of course, that no "war on drugs," no "drug czar" will be able to solve our problems with addictions because drugs are not the problem. When one addictive substance or behavior is not available to us, we can surely choose another. A long list of socially acceptable addictive behaviors and processes (work, shopping, religion etc.) are available for those who are not attracted to chemicals. Anesthetics for the emotional pain of life are, and will always be, cheap and readily available.

The Four Absolutes: Honesty, Purity, Unselfishness, and Love

What are these "Four Absolutes?"

You have to be around A.A. for quite a while before you hear much about the "Four Absolutes."

What Do You Want to do with Your Addiction?

I know that you can jump the hurdle of addiction and live a content filled peaceful life because I did, and I am. In my marriage and life I went through a lot of terrible emotions and marital issues during my bout with alcohol addiction. I have been sober for fourteen-years now, and I have never craved a drink, nor have I ever wanted to have a drink, socially or otherwise.

Addiction, like any adversity we face in life is just another hurdle we need to overcome. It’s not the end of your life because you have a problem with drinking today. It’s the beginning of a learning experience for tomorrow, and not just for the alcoholic, but for the loved one of the alcoholic as well. Adversity definitely makes people stronger. I cannot say that I am stronger because of my own doing but because of what God has done for me in my life. There is a difference. After spending years enveloped within an addiction, I came to realize that I was powerless to stop drinking and remain sober on my own. It is not our own strength but God’s strength within us.

What do you want to do with your addiction?

The New Year: With the Hope?

"In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again."
~Lewis Carol, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"

The new year: it is a minefield. There can be this weird concoction of hope and discouragement, effort and apathy.

A social media post, once again, caught my attention concerning this point. It was of the literary figure, Alice, from Carol's classic work, essentially binging.

And this was the image's caption...

"I can relate to Alice. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking everything she sees with the hope that it might actually solve all her problems."

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