Encouragement

I Searched to Find a Touch from God

When I was lost and so alone,
my heart felt such despair.
I searched to find a touch from God,
Or just a friend to care.

Yet fear had built a wall of stone
Around my trembling soul,
And kept me from the path of hope
where God could make me whole.

I searched at church to try to find
Acceptance, love and hope,
But there I found folks just like me,
Deep pain with masks to cope.

One day I found in cyberspace
A haven safe and kind,
Where I could be just who I am
And share what's on my mind.

I grew by steps and then by bounds,
God's love became so real.
Becoming free by sharing pain,
My heart began to heal.

So thank you friends at CIR
For daring to reach out.

I was Drowning

To tell what CIR has meant to me is to tell a story of survival - a life saved - spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

I do not consider it a mere coincidence or stroke of luck as to how I came to find Christians in Recovery. I have no doubts whatsoever that God led me directly to this wonderful place. I was literally losing my life, drowning in a sea of addictions, SSA, depression, and drugs... all the effects of past sexual abuse.

I was Close to Hell, Then Jesus Set Me Free

When Jesus saved me I was close to hell
The devil had me in a deep dark well
Yes I found Jesus or did He find me
It doesn't matter, He set me free

Now the road I'm walkin' ain't all up hill
As I try to follow my saviors will
yes I found Jesus or did He find me
It doesn't matter, He set me free

He guides my footsteps He leads the way
and I will follow come what may
Yes I found Jesus or did He find me
It doesn't matter, He set me free

22 Years of Active Addiction

My story is really way to long for me to share my 22 years as a prescription addicted to opiates, sedatives, hypnotics, barbiturates, and marijuana. I can tell you however that I am now 47 years old, and in the process of getting my Chemical Dependency Counselors license in Texas. I am also a licensed southern baptist preacher. I have been clean five years.

At one time in my life, scoring and cracking scripts was all I did. The final two years of my addiction darn near cost me my life, as well as my whole family. My wife and I have been married 15 years. The first 10 were spent in drug addiction. Both of us strung out.

My Dance with the Bottle

Hi, my name is Rob.

I was born in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I lived all my school years here and then went into the Army when I was 19. I gave my life to Christ when I was 14. Then began a long uphill battle. I was extremely shy in school and was always trying to find a place to fit in. I experimented with drugs, but they scared me too much. Then came alcohol. I went to a party when I was in the 12th grade. They had beer, I drank, I got drunk, I got sick.... I cooled it for awhile after that, and tried to stay on the straight and narrow with God. I got baptized and became a member of a church. I was happy with Jesus in my heart.

I Consumed 40 oz. of Liquor per Day, Was Lost and Undone

I was lost and undone until I met His Son, when he reached down His hand for me. I will be a Christian in Recovery for 19 years. I don't tell you this to boast in any way, because I certainly didn't accomplish this miracle, God did. I'd tired every thing anyone could do and I couldn't stop drinking. I drank a 40 oz. bottle every day of my life just to survive.

One day a Pastor friend who had listened to my sad tales of woe many times, confronted me in his office with not only what my problem was, but exactly what I hadn't done about that problem. He forced me to look at myself and admit that I had tried everything else except prayer and that nothing had worked. Then he asked me if I really wanted to get some help? Did I really want to be sober bad enough, to ask God for His help? I was at a point in my life when I was beaten and ready to be finished being sick and tired, of being sick and tired. I answered in the affirmative and we knelt down by a chair in the Pastors office and he prayed for me.

Then I asked God, if there is a God, can I please have some help. I've tried to do this on my own and I can't stay sober. Please come into my life and help me.This was without a doubt, the first time in my life that I had ever prayed in earnestness and honesty. (Oh! I had prayed often when I was in trouble, "God get me out of this mess and I'll never do it again." Of course I was lying through my teeth, I was no more out of that mess when I would be back out there trying to create another mess for myself. I don't suppose any of you could ever relate to that, could you?) There were no great thunder clashes or lightening strikes. There was just a warm fuzzy feeling all around and over me.

I Am Taking the Steps

At a time in my life when I couldn't see clearly, Christians in Recovery helped me to take the steps I needed to take. I am in counseling right now because of someone from CIR leading me to the place where I received help to find a counselor. I have come really far through the help of CIR and especially through Christ Jesus.

Right now I am taking the steps that I need to take. For the first time in years I went to a church. If I can do that with His help I am positive that I will be able to go back to work in time. It is written I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

The Potter and the Clay

The sky was clear, such a beautiful day, a good day for a bike ride with Joshua. We will ride and be happy, we will ride and be happy, we will ride and be happy! I remember those days, how good I felt just to see the happy face of my boy. Those days I could find contentment in so many simple things of life. There is an emptiness somewhere. If I can't fill the void with the joys of living, I once felt, I think I will die in my addiction. I struggle for the joy of living. The great simple joys of life have been torn from me by the thief of addiction. I will not ride and be happy; not for a long time.

Some doctors would tell me I didn't have enough chemical stuff in my brain to make me feel good about myself and that was the reason I did what I did, the reasons don't always matter, what is Important is to survive today without filling the brain void with any mood altering substance.

How I look back and think of the simplicity of stopping. I hear the voice, Please just stop! The truth is, when I can't experience the joy for life I once had, simplicity would be to start using immediately. I have a brain that knows the joy of living. I have a brain that will destroy me with a consuming lust for deceptive pleasure.

Peter and Pot

I began smoking pot eight years ago when I was fourteen years old. Prior to my smoking pot, I was considered a very bright and "gifted" child. Even in elementary school I was placed in advanced classes. I started to smoke pot for several reasons. Although my parents seemed to be very functional people, I found out my mother is schizophrenic. She had been diagnosed schizophrenic many years before I was even born, but she had been stable and very functional all my life, until this point. I also happened to be very involved in the heavy metal music of the day. The fact that I was scared and did not know how to deal with or accept my mother's condition, the exposure I had to the drug from concerts and music "heroes", and probably my own obsessive behavior developing, I decided one day that I wanted to smoke weed. Nobody offered it to me in school or anything like that. I asked for it!

Since then, I began smoking pot quite regularly with friends in junior and senior high school while thinking it was not a dangerous nor addictive drug. Soon, I found pot was shaping many things in my life and was becoming a major part of it. I also began drinking on occasion, but never often (I was never too fond of alcohol). I remember reading about negative effects found in studies of ten or more year marijuana smokers and telling myself, "I would never be a ten year pot smoker". My academic career was put away instead for the option of playing music and smoking pot for the rest of my life. By the time I was seventeen I was smoking pot as often as I could... for breakfast, lunch, dinner, after meals, before meals, in the car, in my home, at work, before band practice, after band practice.

Jailed Twice Before I was 18 for Selling Drugs

I grew up in an alcoholic family. Both my father and my mother came from alcoholic homes as well. I lost a brother to a drunk driving accident. He was 24. Because I grew up in such a very chaotic home, I was running the streets from an early age.

I had my first drinking experience was when I was just twelve years old. I was "turned on" to pot at age fourteen, and went to jail twice for selling marijuana, hashish, and LSD, before I was eighteen years old.

My life began to unravel. God used "the law" to get my attention. It looked like I would be "busted" for selling drugs for a third time. The fear of a long prison sentence finally brought me to the end of myself. I became so desperate that I started listening to those "Jesus freak" friends of mine. Anybody remember Jesus freaks? They were former hippies who came to know Christ. As far as I was concerned, they were really kind of spooky people who floated around and were all "smiley" and they weren't doing any dope. Although I could not figure out what they had in their lives, I just knew I needed it, too.

I visited a friend I had known in the "drug scene" who had become saved. He was living in a Christian "commune" in Chicago. While there, he explained how I could know Christ, myself. I had a tremendous spiritual experience when I prayed with him to surrender my life to the Lord. Yet, once I returned to my home in Upper Michigan, I struggled for a year and a half to quit using drugs.

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