Homosexuality

Ten Tips for Preventing RelapsePremium Content

1) Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop this picture. Never think of yourself as failing; never doubt the reality of the mental image. That is most dangerous, for the mind always tries to complete what it pictures. So always picture "success" no matter how badly things seem to be going at the moment.
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:6

2) Whenever a negative thought concerning your personal ability or strength come to mind, deliberately voice the words of God:
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."Isaiah 41:10

3) Do not build up obstacles in your imagination. Depreciate every so-called obstacle. Minimize them. Difficulties must be studied and efficiently dealt with to be eliminated, but they must be seen for only what they are. They must not be inflated by fear thoughts.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

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What Does Healed from Homosexuality Mean Anyway?Premium Content

When I say I'm ex-gay, people often stare at me with that same suspicious look, usually reserved for people who:

    A. Claim to have seen Elvis' ghost enjoying a Value Meal at McDonalds
    B. Testify they were abducted by aliens and forced to have sex with them in a corn field.
    C. Promise you will make millions of dollars and retire by age 35 simply by placing one tiny ad in a newspaper from the convenience of your own apartment.

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Asking for Support: Getting the Help You Need - Part 2Premium Content

by Dale & Juanita Ryan | see: Part 1

We resist getting help

In spite of the abundance of God's love and grace and the many ways in which love and grace are available to us, we do not easily reach out for the help we need. Even when we have acknowledged our need for help, we may find ourselves hesitating, finding excuses, resisting. Resistance to getting help is often the result of a mixture of fear and despair and shame.

Fear

It can be frightening to get help. In the process we feel vulnerable and exposed. Jim's Dad had made cutting remarks about him all his life. Jim was so accustomed to hearing that he was lazy and stupid and irresponsible that every time he shared in his support group, he expected to hear these same hurtful comments in response. Even though people didn't respond this way, Jim imagined that everyone must be privately thinking these things about him. As a result, he would sometimes begin to share only to freeze with fear and find himself unable to talk.

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Asking for Support: Getting the Help You Need - Part 1Premium Content

by Dale & Juanita Ryan
See: Part 2 | Part 3

The God of the Bible is a God who saves and heals. The Bible is clear about this: He will deliver the needy who cry out, he will rescue them from oppression and violence. Psalm 72: 12,14) When we see our need, acknowledge our inability to save ourselves, and cry out, God delivers us. God rescues us from oppression and violence. Whether it is the oppression and violence of our compulsions and addictions or the oppression and violence of abuse and neglect, God delivers us and heals us. God is powerful enough and loving enough to deliver us from all of the oppression and violence we face.

This is the good news proclaimed in Scripture. And it is the basis for our hope on the recovery journey. We cannot save ourselves. Or heal ourselves. But God can. And God will.

Sound simple? It turns out to be anything but simple. There are several reasons for this. First, we find it hard to believe that God is

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Rights and Wrongs: The Moral Absolutes of The Christian Premium Content

We have what is well known as The Seven Deadly Sins
Pride -opposite of humility
Covetousness – opposite of liberality
Lust – opposite of chastity
Anger – opposite of meekness
Gluttony - oppositie temperance
Envy – opposite of brotherly love
Sloth – opposite of diligence

Pride we have discussed as being snobby, above others such as the so-called prayer the Pharisee prayed beside the sinner/tax collector.

Covetousness has been discussed within the 10 Commandments. Be happy with what you have and be happy for what others have. There is no room for jealousy in God's home.

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Our "Pet" Sins: Can a Christian be a Christian and still sin?Premium Content

Romans 6:15-18 NRSV
What then? Should we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that you, having once been slaves of sin, have become obedient from the heart to the form of teaching to which you were entrusted, and that you, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.

Can a Christian be a Christian and still sin? I think that all of us know that is true. Unfortunately, our churches have been teaching (for many years) that it's possible for a Christian to be a Christian and still embrace sin. And that's not true.

We would like it to be true. All of us have "pet" sins that we do embrace, attitudes, expectations, desires, lusts that make us feel good, that help dull the pain in our lives. And, if we are brutally honest with ourselves, we don't want to give those up. It's that simple.

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Homosexuality: The Root Problem, Repentence and GrowthPremium Content

See Part 1: What is Homosexuality?
See Part 2: Common Myths about Homosexuality
See Part 3: How Do Homosexual Attractions Develop?
See Part 4: What Does Homosexuality Provide?
See Part 5: The Root Problem, Repentence and Growth
See Part 6: What is a Friend to Do? & References

WHAT IS THE ROOT PROBLEM?
There is no doubt that those entangled in the web of homosexuality have troubled hearts that are scarred with relational disappointments, misunderstandings, and assaults. As significant as these are, they do not represent the fundamental problem within homosexuality.

The root problem is the same as the source of any immoral, idolatrous thought or behavior. At the deepest levels, homosexual relationships reflect our demand to live life on our own terms. Even when convinced that our ways are wrong, we scratch and claw for autonomy. With two-fisted independence, we ignore the God who designed us to find rest and completeness in Him. Homosexuality is one of many ways to suppress the truth about the One who created us to find our life in Him.

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What Does Homosexuality Provide?Premium Content

See Part 1: What is Homosexuality?
See Part 2: Common Myths about Homosexuality
See Part 3: How Do Homosexual Attractions Develop?
See Part 4: What Does Homosexuality Provide?
See Part 5: The Root Problem, Repentence and Growth
See Part 6: What is a Friend to Do? & References

People who are hurt and angry, and who feel insecure and out of place as males or females, come to see homosexual activity as a means of finding relief, securing safety, and taking revenge. It rarely starts out this way. But once they get a taste of what homosexuality provides, they're hooked. As they start to pursue more of what they've stumbled across, they begin to believe that what homosexuality provides is necessary and deserved.

Finding Relief.
Many who engage in homosexual activity find it to be a way of getting the love and acceptance they didn't receive from their same-sex parent and/or peers. They hope to gain a sense of completeness and relief to the aching void in their souls. They describe the period just before and during homosexual activity as a time when something gels inside or falls into place in a way that touches their emptiness. As one man described it, "I am trying to put something right in myself, something I didn't get as a child."22

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How Do Homosexual Attractions Develop?Premium Content

See Part 1: What is Homosexuality?
See Part 2: Common Myths about Homosexuality
See Part 3: How Do Homosexual Attractions Develop?
See Part 4: What Does Homosexuality Provide?
See Part 5: The Root Problem, Repentence and Growth
See Part 6: What is a Friend to Do? & References

People do not change simply by gaining more insight into how same-sex attractions develop. But a deeper understanding can be an important first step.

No one develops homosexual attractions in exactly the same setting. Nor can we put into words all that's involved for every individual. Yet those who tell their stories often report a few common themes that seem to make a person susceptible to developing homosexual attractions. These themes frequently center around parent-child relationships, peer interactions, and childhood sexual abuse.

This is not to suggest that all of these themes exist or occur to the same degree in every case. Nor are they the only factors that contribute to homosexual attraction. Nevertheless, they appear to be the major contributing influences.

It's noteworthy to point out that factors such as genetics and hormones may cause some to be born with certain physical traits that may make them more susceptible to the formation of same-sex attractions, but these are indirect factors. They don't assure that a person will develop homosexual attractions any more than a person who is tall and agile will develop an interest in playing basketball.15 Furthermore, these factors are minor in comparison to the following:

Parent-child Relationships.
The potential for enormous benefit and harm exists in every parent-child relationship. Many who struggle with homosexual attraction report that their childhood relationships with their same-sex parent and/or opposite-sex parent was a time of great disappointment and rejection.

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Homosexuality: What is a Friend to Do? and ReferencesPremium Content

See Part 1: What is Homosexuality?
See Part 2: Common Myths about Homosexuality
See Part 3: How Do Homosexual Attractions Develop?
See Part 4: What Does Homosexuality Provide?
See Part 5: The Root Problem, Repentence and Growth
See Part 6: What is a Friend to Do? & References

Jesus was a friend of sinners.

As His followers, we need to consider what it means to be involved as friends in the battle for the souls of people. If we want to be friends to those who struggle with homosexuality, we first need to be open to the fact that there are many forms of lustful struggles going on below the surface of life, including homosexuality.

A friend or family member's struggle with homosexuality surprises and frightens far too many Christians. Many feel shocked and afraid, and typically withdraw. At best, some recommend counseling or encourage them simply to stop. In either case, they miss the core issues of pain and sin.

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