Sex Addiction

Are You Tending Your Garden?

Recovery is much like tending our own garden. A garden needs water, fertilizer, sunshine, good soil and a lot of attention by the gardener. We, as Christians and recovering people need:

  • the water of prayer, meditation, and communing with God
  • the fertilizer of fellowship
  • the "Sonshine" of resting in Him (letting go and letting God)
  • the rich soil of God's Word in which to firmly anchor our roots. Not only must we read the Word but we must *understand* it and *actively apply* it to our own lives. Roots must be anchored in the soil, they must take up the nourishment and then send it to the entire system of the plant so it may flourish.
  • a lot of attention by us, as our own gardeners, to remove all weeds that appear.

What's Love Got to Do With It?

What does love have to do with recovery? EVERYTHING! Easily a book could be written on this subject but I only have a few lines, so here goes.

Lack of self-love results in a tremendous amount of inner pain. Low self-esteem often leads people to look to sources outside of themselves for the love that they do not feel for themselves. This can result in "looking for love in all the wrong places" like same sex relationships, drugs, abusive relationships, codependent relationships, eating too much, alcohol, improper sexual relationships, etc. Or one might try medicating the pain with drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, etc.

Beliefs & Characteristics of Sex Addicts

Common Characteristics of Sexual Addiction

Use of sexual thoughts and behaviors as primary coping methods.

Use of sexual arousal as our drug of choice.

A pattern of compulsive, out-of-control sexual behaviors: behaviors that are either illegal, illicit or believed to be "bad".

Experience harmful consequences to themselves and others due to their sexual behaviors.

Lack of emotional intimacy.

Am I a Sex Addict?

Questions to ask Yourself:

    1. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?

    2. Have you regularly purchased sexually explicit magazines?

    3. Did your parents have trouble with sexual behavior?

    4. Are you often preoccupied with sexual thoughts?

    5. Do you believe that your sexual behavior is not normal?

Sex, Love & Porn Addiction FAQ

Those who are dealing with Sex, Love & Porn Addiction (SLA) and/or Same Sex Attraction (SSA) often believe that God has abandoned them.

There is an incredible tug of war within. One side of the individual wants desperately to do God's Will while the other side aches for intimacy. Inner turmoil reigns between passion and Godly living. It is easy to feel as if one is drowning in a sea of emotions and no help is on the horizon. It seems an endless struggle with no where to go for consolation and strength. One feels a victim of addiction and/or attraction. Frustration leads to feelings of futility. This futility kindles feelings of self-hatred and guilt as well as anger at God.

Family Members and Your Addiction

Are you witnessing a decline in your family's lifestyle and overall happiness? Maybe you are the culprit.

As your tolerance level for your drug of choice or habit increases, more and more of the substance or act is needed to get the desired effect. Though your behavior is now having an obvious negative effect on you and those around you, they rationalize, excuse and minimize the problems just as you do.

Do You Worship a Thing?

The traditional symbol of the medical profession, the serpent on a pole, is commonly known as the staff of Asklepios. This was the name of a Greek physician of the eighth or ninth century BC. And it involved one of the most anomalous events in the Bible. Yet the roots of the serpent and pole symbol go back farther, to the Exodus from Egypt around 1200 BC. When the children of Israel were plagued with venomous snakes, Moses was instructed to "……. "Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a standard (pole); and it shall come about, that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, he will live (Num. 21:8, 9)."

How does a Christian handle temptation?

How does a Christian handle temptation?

If I have an addiction, can I still be saved?

If I have an addiction, can I still be saved?

Yes! We are not called to perfect ourselves before we come to God. If we could do that, then Jesus could have spared himself the agony of dying of the cross in payment for our sins. He would have simply instructed us to live sin-free lives. He knew, though, that man is utterly incapable of cleansing himself, as demonstrated throughout the Old Testament.

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