Anger never resolves issues. If you live with an angry spouse you should learn to detach so the anger won’t gobble you up with it. Anytime you retaliate with angry and abusive words back to an angry person you’re fueling the fire. Simply walk away. You want to put the fire out, not rekindle it. Anyone who lives with an angry person needs to learn how to emotionally detach from the anger. Don’t let the abuse control how you feel or control what you do, or control your behaviors.
By learning to detach emotionally from the angry person you do not allow the abuse to control you. There is no reason you should take the brunt of anyone’s abuse, ever. Leave the room. Go to a friend’s house. Take the kids out for ice cream. Take a walk. But try not to fight back with an angry person—that’s not going to get anything resolved. Let your angry spouse know that you would love to talk with them when they are calm and ready to talk. But as long as they remain filled with aggressive emotions you are unable to be around them.
Don’t facilitate your spouse’s angry outbursts; walk away, leave the room and or leave the home if you have to. Be an example—show the proper way for releasing emotions and stress through your own actions. When you detach in a loving way you send signals to the angry person that their behavior is not tolerable with you any longer. Eventually they will learn that if they want to get a point across, behaving verbally abusive is not the way to express it. When we detach from the angry person that is when they realize they have an anger problem.
Encourage your spouse to let go of hurt and pain they may be feeling inside. Let them know it is ok to talk about their feelings with you because you care about them and want to help. But understand it’s like dealing with an alcoholic. They have to see the problem or wound within themselves and heal that wound through the only way that actually works, and that is through the acceptance and forgiveness of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Pray for your spouse. Read the bible together.
Anger is a sin because having an angry heart leads to violence, hatred and sometimes murder. What is within our heart and mind comes out in our actions. Angry people need God just like any other person who is controlled by an addiction needs God. God is our Healer!! Without Jesus Christ living within us we are nothing!!