Honesty

Talking to the Children About the Alcoholic ParentPremium Content

I grew up in an alcoholic environment, but no one ever told me that my step dad was an alcoholic; I thought it was normal for people to drink 10 beers every night. After all he went to work every day, early in the morning and never missed a day of work. How can that be an addiction? Many alcoholics get up early every morning and go to work, have families, and even go to church and profess to be Christian, but none of that can take the addiction away from them -- it only gives them justification to continue to drink.

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Honesty, Lies and Self-Delusion

This is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him while we are walking in darkness, we lie and do not do what is true. 1 John 1:5-6 NRSV

Honesty and lies. These aren't topics much talked about these days. In fact, it may be that the American culture is on its way to being completely delusional, believing that lies are the truth simply because it's what we believe.

When a Sponsor/Sponsee Relationship Goes BadPremium Content

Everyone can benefit from a good Sponsor/Sponsee relationship. It can be invaluable to have a recovery buddy with whom you are accountable. There are many benefits of sponsorship. A sponsor/recovery buddy should be an emotional safe haven who provides support and guidance.

Some recovery relationships simply peter out because of family obligations, conflicting goals, stress at work or lack of shared values. Others might be destroyed by deceit or manipulation on the part of one or both parties.

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Denial Needs to GoPremium Content

Denial is actually a defense mechanism implemented to protect us, to keep the mind solvent in lieu of perceived danger. It's a form of personalized reframing, neuro-linguistic manipulation meant to increase survivability. Yet many of us turn it into a catalyst which allows us to continue our voluntary journey into perdition.

Denial is the ability to lie to one's self in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It is the ability to delude one's self with reasonable to superb success. Only when denial diminishes does character take root.

And, once again, character is identified and maintained by one's personal beliefs.

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How Alcoholism Controls Your LifePremium Content

It happens without warning. It creeps into your life and all of a sudden, you’re hooked. At first you’re the life of the party, and later you’re the drunk of the party. When you’re young, twenties and thirties, your body can handle all the booze, no problem. But mentally it impairs the way you view and feel the world around you.

Most of the time, alcoholics don’t know that alcohol has taken hold of their life. This is called the denial stage. Alcoholics feel if they can get up and go to work everyday, even though secretly they have an excruciating headache, they don’t have a problem.

But what keeps the alcoholic going throughout the workday is in knowing that after work, they’ll have those highballs or beers, which will in fact; make them feel like their old self again.

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What a Sponsor Does and Does Not DoPremium Content

A mentor/recovery buddy/sponsor can provide vital support, encouragement and accountability during the eating disorder recovery process. And what a difference that can make to the sponsee. However, it's important to understand the role of a sponsor - what does he or she does and does not do.

A quality mentor/recovery buddy/sponsor has good listening skills and the ability to tune into what the sponsee is feeling. A sponsor provides a safe place to talk so the sponsee can feel comfortable sharing his or her needs.

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The Nature and Basis of Assurance

At the commencement of Matthew 5 we find the Lord Jesus pronouncing blessed a certain class of people. They are not named as "believers" or saints," but instead are described by their characters; and it is only by comparing ourselves and others with the description that the Lord Jesus there gave, that we are enabled to identify such. First, He said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit." To be "poor in spirit" is to have a feeling sense that in me, that is, in my flesh, "there dwelleth no good thing" (Rom. 7:18). It is the realization that 1 am utterly destitute of anything and everything which could commend me favorably to God's notice. It is to recognize that I am a spiritual bankrupt.

"Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery" - Workshop TranscriptPremium Content

note: You may discuss this workshop in the Message Boards HERE

Obie-Host Welcome to the "Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery" Workshop
Please join me in welcoming Chaplain Michael Clark who will be leading the workshop. He is involved with Shadows of the Cross Ministries as well as Prison and Recovery Ministry. Chaplain Clark is a noted Speaker and Writer, Addiction Counselor/Professional as well as a Recovery Support Specialist. He will speak for several minutes after which we will open the floor for questions and comments from you for Chaplain Clark.

Let us open in prayer this evening.

Heavenly Father,
We ask Your blessings upon Chaplain Clark as he leads this workshop today.

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Bickering with Kevin: Discussions with an Accountability PartnerPremium Content

Over the years, I have shared how my friend Kevin and I bicker all the time. We bickered in the early years, when we first met and became accountability partners. We bickered during the ministry years, when we ran a Living Waters Program at our church. And we bicker in 2011, four years into Kevin’s decision to return to the gay lifestyle.

Although Kevin and I see each other a lot less socially nowadays, we sit within 4 feet of each other 8 hours a day, 5 days a week at our place of employment. We have been coworkers since 1999. This environment is very conducive getting on each other’s nerves and releasing all that pent-up irritation through bickering when we hang out.

These are some of our more-vivid bickering sessions:

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Learning to Live as We are Commanded

John 13:35 NKJV
"By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

Back in the 60's, when worship choruses first began to become widely popular, a certain chorus made the rounds in the churches, "They’ll Know We Are Christians by Our Love" (common tune, lyrics by Peter Scholtes). The words go like this:

We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
And we pray that all unity may one day be restored
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
Yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love

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