Posts Tagged ‘verbal abuse’

Concerned About What Others Think?

Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

I think I’ve messed up a personal principle, which prompts today’s word-of-the-week…

OTHERS

Perhaps this is just for me, but I have a sense it might touch a few of you as well.

I’ve been overly concerned lately with what others think.

I value feedback and the counsel of friends. I’d never want to be the guy who doesn’t care about other people. But there’s a point at which that concern tips into worry, and I think I rolled over that line.

“What will people think?” just isn’t a helpful question—unless you want to live in fear.

Better questions:

  • Is this what I believe?
  • Will this be helpful?
  • Can someone learn from this?
  • Will this bring me closer to Jesus?

I’m sure you can think of more questions. What are your thoughts?

Let’s do what matters this week, and stop worrying about what others might think.

 

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Copyright by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

What If You Did It Anyway?

Thursday, May 29th, 2014

Ever wonder what might happen if you didn’t wait for someone with authority to tell you it’s okay?

Seems like a lot of folks say, “I’d like to do something like that, but _____ won’t approve it.” Fill in the blank with my church, my boss, my family, whatever.

It’s a convenient excuse for failure, if you accept it. Or you can go ahead and do it, if you really believe it’s what God’s called you to do. You’ll likely stir things up a bit, cause some commotion, make the bureaucrats uncomfortable.

If you’ve thought it through, folks usually won’t stop you. In fact, I think there are a bunch of folks waiting to follow the guy who’s crazy enough to make a move.

I think following Jesus is sort of like that. We’ve turned it into this make-believe, predictable, buttoned-up, neatly organized suburban neighborhood where everybody’s supposed to color inside the lines.

Except the One we claim to follow pretty much broke all the rules. He didn’t see much need to ask permission from the religious leaders before doing His Father’s work.

Jesus made a bit of a mess in the neat world the religious rulers created for themselves.

What do you think things would look like if we followed His example?

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog here
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article ! Dixon
Copyright by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

How Close to Perfect Are You?

Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

James 3:2: “We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.”


Saturday afternoon, I told a friend I’d learned the hard way not to say anything about anybody.

About three or four hours later, I forgot my lesson and told a different friend something about another person. Can you identify with me?

I was upset with myself and scolded myself. Yvonne, you spoke too soon. You didn’t learn the lesson as well as you thought you had. Will you ever learn?

I stumbled all right. In that moment, I knew for sure I wasn’t a perfect person. I wasn’t able to keep my whole body in check. I wanted to but hadn’t succeeded at least not on Saturday evening.

After I confessed my sin to God, I asked for his forgiveness. Then I went to the person to whom I spoke my criticism of another. I acknowledged my wrongdoing. I asked for her forgiveness too, and she readily gave it to me.

With God’s forgiveness and my friend’s forgiveness, I could start over.

What about you? What do you do when you stumble?

Dear God, I stumbled again. Please help me be more like Jesus Christ. Amen.

Application: What will you do this week to keep your whole body in check?

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Copyright 2010-2013, Yvonne Ortega, LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer.
If you would like to have her speak for your organization or church, please contact her through
her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com

What’s With All The Lines?

Monday, February 24th, 2014


Everywhere you look, someone’s drawing a line.

The line identifies us. You’re either on my side, or the wrong side.

You see the lines everywhere. I scrolled through my Facebook feed yesterday and realized I skipped a lot of items because they were about drawing lines.

I’m tired of lines.

Drawing lines is beyond discussing ideas or expressing opinions. I appreciate new information and different perspectives. Problems arise when one creates a rule that condemns and demonizes those who disagree.

Line-drawing is especially popular among Christians. We draw lots of lines around theology, liturgy, worship, and lifestyle.

Almost all of our lines are human creations. They’re unnecessary false dichotomies intended to force personal preferences on others.

I hear the objections already. “Wait a minute, Rich. Don’t you believe in truth?”

Of course I believe in truth. I also know legal experts were always trying to trap Jesus and get Him to draw lines and list the rules. And He stubbornly refused.

He did respond once when lawyers brought a woman caught in adultery. He wrote in the dust, and suggested they proceed with their planned execution—with the caveat that the sinless man among them should cast the first stone.

Instead of drawing a line, He asked that, for once, they abide by the lines they’d drawn for others. We know how that turned out.

Do I believe in truth?

Jesus said, “I am the Truth.”

He’s not a collection of ideas, a list of rules, or a bunch of lines. So I don’t believe any of that stuff.

He said, “Love.” That’s not a line, it’s a circle and an invitation to bring everyone inside.

So I’m looking for places where I draw lines. I’m doing my best to see and erase them.

I invite you to join me.

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
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Copyright 2008-2013 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

Fear of Offending Others

Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

I got a lesson in fearless this week.

A Facebook friend wrote some courageous thoughts about how the world appears from her perspective. Latter she said she probably lost a few friends because she was so brutally honest and vulnerable.

I reassured her. Real friends don’t walk away because you’re honest. Anyone who deserts you in those circumstances wasn’t really a friend, right? And then I realized how easy, hollow, and empty those words sounded to me.

Why?

If I’m honest, I’m often afraid to say exactly what I think here. I soften the words, talk around the difficult issues, and avoid stating what might be controversial opinions.

I can offer all sorts of excuses. I don’t want to be divisive or become a stumbling block. Those are legitimate concerns, but they’re not the real reasons.

I’m afraid—of offending you, of what you’ll think. I’m afraid of losing you if I say the wrong thing.

I’m not proud of that. God didn’t create us to live in fear. A blog about following Jesus ought to be a place of vulnerability and trust.

But there’s my friend’s harsh experience. And if you don’t believe Christians will attack someone for putting a controversial idea out there, take a look at some of the comments on this post by Don Miller.

I say good for Don and good for my friend. I admire that kind of fearless. I believe Jesus wants us to demonstrate that kind of fearless.

I’m not there yet.

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
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Copyright 2008-2013 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of: Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

What’s The Fear?

Friday, January 31st, 2014

facing fearWhat’s the fear?

That’s my opening question this week in my workshop at Harvest Farm. I hope they don’t turn the question back at me. I’d rather discuss their fears than reveal mine.

This week our small group looked at a passage from Philippians 1. Verse 27 says, “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.”

One of the discussion questions asked if we were doing that—and how we knew. So looking a bit further, verse 28 says one piece of evidence is operating “without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you.”

So we asked ourselves:

Are we living fearlessly, in a manner worthy of the gospel?

And of course we’re not, and we come back to the original question:

What’s the fear?

Let’s be honest—nobody’s going to bomb my house because I follow Jesus. I don’t have to hide my faith. But I don’t live fearlessly.

The day after our study I encountered a Facebook post from someone in another city whom I know fairly well. There were a few comments from folks in my social media circle of influence, and as I read I felt pretty strongly that the discussion missed the mark in an important way.

I carefully composed a response, edited my words, re-read them…and then pressed DELETE. Why? I was afraid.

Afraid I might not say it just right. Afraid I’d offend someone. Afraid of what they’d think. I allowed what I believed to be an untruth, albeit a minor one, to stand unchallenged—among friends—because I was afraid.

Certainly the fate of civilization won’t turn on a small Facebook discussion, but I suspect this is exactly the sort of issue Paul addressed. I think Jesus asks us to be faithful in the small stuff, to treat it like big stuff.

That Facebook interaction bothers me. It’s not about the issue; that’s inconsequential. But the questions demand answers.

Are we living fearlessly, in a manner worthy of the gospel?

What’s the fear?

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Not a member of CIR yet? Join us Today!Dixon
Copyright 2008-2013 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

How to Bring Sweetness and Healing to Your Home

Friday, January 24th, 2014

Proverbs 16:24: “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Did you grow up in a home where a parent or both parents screamed, cursed, and insulted each other?

If you did, with time you probably became a victim of their verbal and emotional abuse too.

Now you are an adult, and your home can be different. You can provide peace and love for your family. You can help your children grow up with self-confidence and self-respect.

Start with pleasant words. No matter what you need to say, say it in a gentle manner.

Set boundaries in your home about communication and lead by example. If you don’t want your children to scream, don’t scream at them or your spouse if you are married. Insist that your spouse and extended family not scream in your home either.

If you don’t want your children to curse and call each other names, don’t curse or call them or your spouse names. Insist that your spouse and relatives also refrain from doing so.

Your goal is pleasant words that are “sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Dear God, help me speak pleasant words and apologize when I don’t. Amen.

Application:  What will you do this week to bring sweetness to the soul and healing to the bones of your family?

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
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Copyright 2010-2013, Yvonne Ortega, LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of

Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer.
If you would like to have her speak for your organization or church, please contact her through
her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com

How Many Times Have You Needed Forgiveness?

Friday, December 27th, 2013

Colossians 3:13: “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Can you imagine fourteen adults going to lunch at a packed restaurant on Sunday in December after church?

We waited for our lunch longer than usual and were hungry. I found the waitress and asked for bread and butter or crackers. She brought homemade bread and oil.

When the food came, my friend and I didn’t get ours. The young waitress was close to tears. She wanted everything perfect.

My friend and I could have been angry and ruined the luncheon for everyone else. We chose to forgive as the Lord forgave us.

Our meal came when our other friends were almost finished eating. However, we received complimentary soup, dessert, and a free lunch.

The waitress thanked me for showing her forgiveness. It was easy to do when I thought of my mistakes and sins. Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins.

We will all make mistakes and sin until we die. There’s one God, and we aren’t the one.

Let’s make this Christmas our best one by letting go of anger, bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness.

Dear God, help me forgive those who have hurt me. Amen.

Application: To thank the Lord for the times he’s forgiven you, whom will you forgive this week?

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Not a member of CIR yet? Join us Today!Copyright 2010-2013, Yvonne Ortega, LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer.
If you would like to have her speak for your organization or church, please contact her through
her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com

Uncomfortable Situation? “Stop! Look! Listen!”

Monday, November 25th, 2013

I know that when I am faced with an uncomfortable situation that my first instinct is to RUN! and run as fast as I can to get away from things.

Lately, God has been teaching me to STOP!

When I was little, before crossing a street, I was always told to “Stop! Look! Listen!”

Am I being confronted by an abusive person? Is worry tormenting me so I cannot rest? Are my emotions being triggered by an event of some sort? Are temptations growing out of control like a run away freight train?

Stop, look and listen…..

I need to stop and don’t run.

I need to look to see what is really going on and what God is doing in my life.

I need to listen to my Savior so I can get the wisdom and guidance I need.

Today, are you running away? or are you choosing to Stop, Look and Listen.

 

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~ * ~
Copyright 1992-2013 by S. O. Brennan.
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
S.O. Brennan is the Director of
Christians in Recovery and the author of the
Christians in Recovery Workbook & Meeting Guide and the
Christians in Recovery Devotional Journal

A Christian Woman in a Domestic Violence Relationship?

Friday, October 25th, 2013

Psalm 55:4: “Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.”

Besides National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, October is also National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Our church members aren’t exempt from breast cancer. Neither are they exempt from domestic violence.

Some men in the church use submission as their excuse to ridicule, punch, kick, curse, name call, and deprive their wives of family, friends, and the necessities of life. Outside of the home, those men seem nice and loving.

Psalm 55:12-14 explains the confusion and fear a woman feels:

If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I could hide from him.
But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend,
with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship.

Your immediate reaction may be to ask why she doesn’t leave the relationship. First of all, she loves the man and wants to keep her marriage and family intact.

The batterer may have apologized and promised not to abuse her again. Statistically, those apologies and promises don’t last long, but she clings to them.

Secondly, shame and guilt overwhelm the abused woman. He has told her if she would clean house better, fix a good meal, be a better wife and mother, he wouldn’t have to hurt her. She thinks it’s her fault.

He tells her she is ugly and dumb, and no one would want her. He threatens to keep the children if she leaves him.

Dear God, help me sense the fear of an abused woman. Amen.

Application: What will you do this week to befriend an abused woman?

CIR Members can share their thoughts regarding this blog HERE
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2010-2013, Yvonne Ortega, LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer.
If you would like to have her speak for your organization or church, please contact her through
her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com