Posts Tagged ‘respect’
Monday, January 30th, 2012
The more I think about it the more I’m convinced that the notion of “special needs” isn’t biblically sound.
My friend Tim pastors a church in Denver, and he talks a lot about the “Y’all Come In” mentality. In that view, if the church opens the door and puts down a welcome mat, that’s enough.
Except that it’s not enough.
At Tim’s church they send people to homeless shelters and by-the-week motels. They sit with people one-on-one, talk with them, assure them they’re valued and needed.
Those aren’t the comfortable church people. Often they’re dirty and smelly. Sometimes they’re manipulative or mistrustful. They’re certainly the most materially needy, and they’re also the least likely to respond to “Y’all Come In.”
In Tim’s eyes this isn’t a special ministry to special people who need the church. It’s a biblical ministry seeking folks with essential gifts the church needs.
I think it’s a lot like that with people who face physical, emotional, or mental challenges. I suppose it would be ideal if everyone felt equally welcome and accepted. They don’t. We don’t.
Suppose it’s not about meeting “special needs.” What if it’s about really believing that every person brings unique gifts to the table and that every excluded person means an incomplete body?
There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many. 1 Corinthians 12:4-6, 12-14
I don’t know how to make this happen. Well, actually, I do—we all do. What I really don’t know is how to make it comfortable.
It’s uncomfortable to be around those who are different. It’s just easier to worship in familiar surroundings with familiar people and familiar ideas. Folks with disabilities, folks who don’t “fit in” in some way—they make us uncomfortable. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that.
What’s wrong is letting that discomfort control us. Folks who look or act differently, who evoke feeling of discomfort—we can’t just open the door and say “Y’all Come In.” And we can’t shuffle them off to the side into “special” sections or “special” programs that that serve our needs much more than theirs.
We need to go get them. We need to include them. We need to equip them to use their unique gifts in ministry.
Just like everyone else.
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2008-2012 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of: 
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, disabilities, fellowship, judgement, ministry, motives, rejection, respect, Responsibility, salvation
Posted in Attitudes, Choices, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Step 12, Things to Ponder | Comments Off
Friday, January 27th, 2012
Humble yourselves. That sounds obscene. At least to the culture of self-promotion and “get ahead at all cost” and “don’t look back, the competition is gaining on you” it sounds obscene.
Humility is a forgotten virtue. Often confused with weakness or timidity, humility is about knowing our proper place in the world without flaunting it. Only God can exalt in a permanent way, so the key is to know our place before him and let him put us in the place he chooses to honor him.
A humble heart is tender towards God, and He responds when it cries out to Him. And that may be why He sometimes allows hard things into our lives – to bring forth the fruit of humility.
As God does great things in our midst, we don’t ever want to forget what He’s brought us through. We can do nothing without His intervention. But as we keep humble, contrite, tender hearts, there is no end to what He can accomplish not merely in our own lives, but for our children’s children.
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2010-2012, Chaplain Michael Clark
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Chaplain Clark is a Speaker and Writer,
Addiction Counselor/Professional
as well as a Recovery Support Specialist
Shadows of the Cross Ministries, Prison and Recovery Ministry
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, healing, humility, New Beginning, rebellion, respect, Responsibility, self-will
Posted in Attitudes, Choices, Faith, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, New Beginning, Renewal, Responsibility, Step 10, Step 2, Step 3, Step 4, Step 5, Step 6, Step 7, Step 8, Step 9 | Comments Off
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012
Over the weekend I encountered (in Scripture) today’s word-of-the-week…
BUSYBODY
It’s a word I’ve never noticed in the Bible, but there it is:
We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. 2 Thessalonians 3:11
According to one dictionary, a busybody is “a person who meddles or pries into the affairs of others.”
I hope I’m not that guy.
Yesterday our pastor talked about priorities, putting first things first, and investing in efforts that really matter. As he spoke I thought about the energy I too often waste in places that just don’t matter. I wondered what I do that actually gets in the way of someone knowing Jesus.
Jesus clearly stated priority #1 for His followers (Matthew 6:33): “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness.”
It’s a good reminder as we begin a new year. Let’s be busy doing the right stuff. Let’s not be busybodies.
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Tags: Abuse, Attitudes, Choices, criticism, fellowship, judgement, relationships, respect, Responsibility, temptation, verbal abuse
Posted in Abuse, Attitudes, Choices, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, Responsibility | Comments Off
Wednesday, December 28th, 2011
Are you engaged?
I experienced the Christmas holiday a bit differently this year. For many positive reasons, Becky and I spent the weekend in separate locations.
It’s not something I want to establish as a family tradition, but spending the holiday weekend mostly in solitude allowed some worthwhile introspection. I explored a great book (more later), looked back at a wonderful year, and found a bit of clarity about direction for 2012.
My main focus for 2011 involved expanding the circle. That certainly occurred—most of my blog and speaking metrics increased significantly. But I also learned a valuable lesson: a bigger circle (more people) isn’t the point.
Of course I want more people to read and hear the words—that’s sort of the point of writing and speaking. But unless something happens, unless we learn and grow and change the world, it’s all a bit empty. Something’s missing.
God designed us for relationship. Unless we engage with one another, the circle ends up looking like this. The gears turn, lots of energy’s expended, but very little of value occurs. I’m not interested in attracting more people to this kind of circle.
Engage
So my major focus for 2012 is engagement. If this or any other circle is going to have much impact, it needs to look more like this.
I’ll admit that this scares me. I’m not really sure how to make it happen. I’m stepping into territory that makes me uncomfortable. It’s much safer to just spin my little cog in my own little protected circle.
And—engaging is tricky. Everybody’s spinning in their own direction at their own speed, and if you’re not careful you get a lot of grinding and even some stripped gears. Frankly, I’m tempted to delete all of this and choose a less challenging direction.
This is the point at which I’m forced to confront my personal core values: Agape, Grace And Truth, Courage. I don’t want them to be empty words on a page, so I’ll skip the DELETE button.
The problem with relationships is that they involve humans, which makes them complex and difficult and messy. But I’ll risk a little gear-grinding to follow the path in which I believe I’m led.
So I’m establishing goals that’ll guide me to increase engagement. More about that next time—for now, a question:
How can you become more engaged in 2012?
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, fellowship, motives, New Beginning, relationships, respect
Posted in Attitudes, Choices, Family, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, New Beginning, Responsibility, Step 11, Step 12 | Comments Off
Wednesday, December 7th, 2011
Rich’s Ride provided countless rewards and a few challenges. One significant test arrived in the form of a question.
A Christian disability-advocacy group invited me to a meeting. I began as I often do with a small audience, by asking what they wanted me to talk about. After a short pause, a lady began the discussion with a statement/question I’m still processing.
“You’re doing this amazing project that inspires everyone, especially people like us. Can you tell us how you’re able to function so well in an able-bodied world?”
Before reading further I invite you to ponder those lines for a moment. What stands out for you?
Her question still challenges me on several levels, but one phrase honestly stops me cold: an able-bodied world.
What’s your immediate reaction? Do we live in “an able-bodied world”?
If so, I’m an interloper; I don’t belong. An able-bodied world might tolerate me, even make allowances for me, but I’m at best a resident alien. A guy who’s paralyzed below his chest cannot claim full citizenship in an able-bodied world.
This was a Christian organization, and they assumed God created the world for people who meet some arbitrary physical, mental, and emotional standards. I guess those of us who fall short ought to stay out of the way and feel grateful that we’re allowed to hang out on the edges.
I’m not blind to reality. I want to figure out how to follow Jesus in real life, and it’s clear that I face a unique set of physical challenges. There’s no point in pretending.
But words have incredible power to shape our attitudes. Description becomes perception, and perception becomes reality. I hope you’ll leave a comment here with your thoughts on some questions that challenge me.
- What are my unspoken assumptions about who belongs and who doesn’t?
- Where do my words and behaviors marginalize others?
- Where’s the line between being realistic and simply catering to my own comfort zone?
Do we live in “an able-bodied world”?
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com
Tags: Abuse, Attitudes, Choices, criticism, disabilities, hatred, rejection, relationships, respect, rights, verbal abuse
Posted in Ability to Overcome, Abuse, Attitudes, Choices, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Pain, Things to Ponder | Comments Off
Wednesday, November 30th, 2011
What’s your personal understanding of “character”?
I appreciate questions.
I guess that’s one reason I still love teaching—I enjoy the challenge of creating an environment that fosters open, frank discussion. I value tough, sincere questions even though I often don’t possess answers.
A few weeks ago during Rich’s Ride I tossed out a statement that prompted quite a few comments:
I think God values our character more than our comfort. Character is a long-term issue, and it’s often developed and tested in uncomfortable settings.
A reader sent a great question. “Character is one of those words we use a lot, and I wonder if we agree on what it means. What is character?”
Hmmm…I thought about it a lot during the ride, and I’d like to see what you think of my ideas.
To me, character development rests on at least three factors:
- Knowledge: understanding the facts of a situation.
- Discernment: determining the right thing to do based on your knowledge.
- Skill: the capacity to do it.
Knowledge: It’s not much use wanting to do what’s right if I have no clue about the situation. Character development requires an open mind, a willingness to learn, and the flexibility to adapt as new information develops.
Discernment: I determine my best understanding of what’s right based on available information, input from those I trust, and my own wisdom based on experience and guidance from the Spirit.
Skill: Knowing what’s right isn’t all that helpful unless I develop the skills required to actually do it.
Character: I see character as the willingness to do what’s right. Character development is the lifelong process of growing in knowledge, discernment, and skill, and intentionally nurturing the habit of doing what’s right.
Some will object that we cannot always know the right response in particular circumstances. I agree. It’s rare that we have access to every scrap of relevant information. Our discernment is colored by personal bias. We can always refine our skills.
Too often these become excuses for failure to act. So perhaps a more workable definition of character might be doing my best to determine what’s right based on available knowledge, and then doing that right thing to the best of my ability.
Will I frequently get it wrong? Of course. Will I fail at times? Certainly. But the real troubles in my life haven’t happened because I didn’t know what to do.
Almost without exception, the significant issues in my life occur when I KNOW what’s right and don’t do it.
Is this what character means to you? What would you add?
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, relationships, respect, Responsibility, strength
Posted in Ability to Overcome, Attitudes, Choices, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, New Beginning, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Things to Ponder | Comments Off
Monday, November 14th, 2011
Every time I read of some new person’s lambasting Alcoholics Anonymous, it cuts. Every time I hear a few Christian writers incessantly claiming you are on your way to hell if you help someone in Alcoholics Anonymous, it hurts. Every time, I see the new creations made by writers who insist on claiming you can choose your own god, or no god, or just go to meetings, It causes the zeal to flag.
Maybe the royal law in James has some relevance.
Maybe the selflessness of Jesus Christ and of Paul and the other Apostles has some relevance.
Maybe their commitment to daily fellowship with God, His Son, and other believers has relevance.
Maybe God’s will has lots of relevance.
But all the relevance in the world means little if you are not in the trenches loving, serving, helping, laughing, encouraging, and all the rest that Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount and Paul’s 1 Corinthians 13 suggest.
Then comes a day like today. Someone comes all the way to Maui and asks if he can pay us a visit. He’s new. He’s about to lose it all. He looks back on a life of horrible mistakes. And he looks like he’s licked. In fact, you can even help him see how near the end of the road might be without change.
If so, why did he come to visit? Did God have a role? Did God present us with a new opportunity? Did God offer us another chance to give substantial help and comfort to someone who still suffers?
If He didn’t, it’s no coincidence that we were talking about this very thing yesterday.
I can only say that all the doubt, discouragement, concern, and even disgust go out the window when the newcomer comes in the door. You shake his hand. You give him a hug. You listen to his story. You explain that there’s a way out if he’s had enough. You talk to him about God. You talk to him about becoming one of God’s kids. And you talk to him about recovery being the same kind of daily daily daily love and service to others that you received. And that the First Century Christians gave.
And you’re up and at em again. Is it worthwhile? You bet it is. And all the critics and charges in the world are no substitute for the great joy that inevitably follows every moment showing the newcomer what God can do for him that he isn’t doing for himself.
Then you ask him to call you every day while he’s here and get on the daily choo choo train of love and service the moment he gets back. It is worthwhile? You bet it is. I’ve enjoyed it all for quite some time, and I’m not leaving now. In fact, I can hardly wait for the next visit. And wouldn’t you know it, an email just arrived telling me another recovered believer and his wife will be here in February. Well so will I.
Sometimes it’s easier to listen to the debates on TV than to hear the negatives spewed out about A.A.
It would be easy at 25, almost 26 years of sobriety, to chuck it. To say, I’ve got mine; let him get his. Or to say, this is a selfish program, and I’m here for myself and only to keep from taking a drink today.
I’ve heard it all. I’ve read it all. Maybe the first chapter of James on temptation has some relevance.
~ * ~
Copyright 2009-2011 by Richard G. Burns, J.D.
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Dick B. is a writer, historian, retired attorney, Bible student,
CDAAC, and an active and recovered member of the A.A. fellowship.
He has published 42 titles and over 500 articles on the history
of Alcoholics Anonymous and on the Christian recovery movement
Contact Dick B.
PO Box 837, Kihei, HI 96753-0837
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, fellowship, healing, ministry, relationships, respect, Responsibility
Posted in Attitudes, Choices, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Pastors & Recovery Pros, Responsibility, Step 12, Things to Ponder | Comments Off
Tuesday, May 31st, 2011
Proverbs 24:26: “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”
When we think of a kiss on the lips, we think of something good, of love and tenderness. God’s Word compares an honest answer to a kiss on the lips.
One man told me, “I tell it like it is.” He said he and his wife went shopping. She asked him what he thought of an outfit she tried on. He said she looked fat in that ugly outfit.
Maybe what he said was true, but his “honest” answer was not like a kiss on the lips, and his wife wouldn’t shop with him anymore.
The way he spoke to his wife showed a lack of respect for her. I suggested he find a kind way of being honest.
I reminded him she chose him for a husband. If her choice of clothing was that bad, what did that say about her choice of a husband?
God wants us to tell the truth in our relationships, but he wants us to do so in love.
Dear God, help me give an honest answer in love. Amen.
Application: When you speak, let your honest answer be like a kiss on the lips.
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2011, Yvonne Ortega, LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer.
Visit her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com
Tags: Abuse, anger, Attitudes, Choices, criticism, judgement, Pain, reconciliation, relationships, respect, Responsibility, verbal abuse
Posted in Abuse, Attitudes, Choices, For Friends & Family of Dysfunctional People, General Recovery, Responsibility, Step 12, Things to Ponder | Comments Off
Wednesday, March 30th, 2011
Christian! You are a child of God’s love, an heir of His glory, and reckoned among His favorites! O think upon your dignity, and consider:
Will an Emperor live like a beggar?
Is it befitting for those who are clothed in scarlet–to wallow in the mire?
Am I born of God–and shall I live like a beast?
Has God raised my soul to the purest excellencies–and shall I stain my dignity with the world’s filth?
May I feed upon Christ–and shall I feed upon empty vanities?
Shall I who am to judge the world–be a drudge to the world?
Has Christ prepared for me a mansion in the heavens–and shall I be groveling in earthly mire?
Am I a child of light–and shall I commit the works of darkness?
No! I am born to greater and higher things–than to be a slave to lust, and a drudge to the world!
Thomas Sherman, “Divine Breathings; Or, a Pious Soul Thirsting after Christ”
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, failure, God's Love, healing, New Beginning, rebellion, respect, Responsibility, self image, sin, slip
Posted in Ability to Overcome, Attitudes, Choices, General Recovery, New Beginning, Renewal, Responsibility, Things to Ponder | Comments Off
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011
Matthew 14:8-9: “Prompted by her mother, she said, ‘Give me here on a platter the head of John the Baptist.’ The king [Herod] was distressed, but because of his oaths and dinner guests, he ordered that her request be granted.”
Many times in life, people will ask us to do or accept something that is illegal or against God’s Word. God has gifted us with free will.
If we, like Herod, seek the approval of others, we will probably do as he did. Out of fear, we will make the wrong choice, and innocent people will suffer because of our choice.
We can stand up for what is right and not allow evil to occur to us, our families or in our job/ministry.
When we choose what is right, we will face opposition and ridicule.
A family member may want us to do or accept what is wrong. If we choose what is right, that person may question our love and accuse us of not being loyal.
We need to remember that our first love is God, and our loyalty is to him.
Dear God, help me to love you first. Amen.
Application: How will you stand up for what is right this week?
Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
Copyright 2011, Yvonne Ortega, , LPC, LSATP, CCDVC
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
Yvonne is a Speaker, Author, Counselor, Cancer Survivor and
serves on the Board of Directors of Christians in Recovery.
She is the author of Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer.
Visit her website: http://YvonneOrtega.com
Tags: Attitudes, Choices, motives, relationships, respect, Responsibility, sin
Posted in Attitudes, Choices, General Recovery, Responsibility, Step 12, Things to Ponder | Comments Off
