Posts Tagged ‘rebellion’

Rights? or Responsibility?

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

So much emphasis is put on rights these days.  “I want my rights!” “Give me my rights!!”

When was the last time you heard anyone say “I want my responsibilities!” “Give me my responsibilities!!”

An interesting thing occurred to me as I was writing this blog. Most blogging software has what are known as “Word Clouds.” The key words used most often appear in bigger print and the words used less often are in smaller print. After a period of time I noticed these two words right next to one another:

This blog is about being a Christian in recovery. It is obvious from the word cloud that here we talk a lot more about responsibility than we do rights. Then I started thinking about the Bible. What does it talk more about: our rights? no…. Scripture emphasizes our responsibilities!

In your recovery which word is larger? What carries more weight: your rights? or your responsibilities? Why do you think this is so?

How does this affect your recovery? your faith?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

~ Obie

Angry At God?

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Have you ever been angry with God?

Last week I spoke to an amazing group of kids. Reality Youth Center serves young people from tough environments. Poverty, abuse, neglect, absent parents—nearly every member of the audience has experienced a challenging childhood.

After I told them about my injury, I confessed that I spent a lot of time being angry at the world, at my friends, and at God. Then I asked, “Do you guys think it’s okay to be mad at God?”

Almost universally, they shook their heads or quietly said, “No.”

Their response surprised me. How about you?

I stopped for a moment. In a different setting I would have asked for some discussion to understand their thinking, but with 100 kids in a worship time that didn’t seem practical.

What would you have done at that point?

I chose honesty. I repeated that I felt anger toward God and that I thought it was okay. Since that wasn’t the main point of my message, I moved forward.

I wondered, though, where they got the message that it’s wrong to be mad at God.

I’ve always figured that God wants authenticity. After all, what’s the point of pretending when He knows what I’m thinking anyway? So when I talk to Him, I try to be as honest as possible.

I think God’s okay with me expressing my true feelings. I think He understands, because He’s been there.

I’m not claiming that being angry with God is a good thing or that it accomplishes anything worthwhile. Like most anger, it’s wasted energy aimed in the wrong direction.

But when I do feel angry, I think He wants me to talk to Him about it.

What do you think?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance
. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

Is it Accountability or Dependability?

Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

Accountability is defined as:  Being obliged to answer to an authority for your actions

Dependability is defined as:  Worthy of reliance or trust

What are you learning about accountability in your own recovery?
What exactly do you need to be accountable for? and to whom do you need to be accountable?

I thought that if I was dependable that was the same as being accountable.
People could depend on me so I was “OK”. Right?
WRONG

I was not accountable. I did not answer to the higher authority of God.I was doing things that were definitely not pleasing to him. Although they were pleasing to myself (self-destructive as they were) it was not until I understood what accountability was that recovery started to become a reality for me.

I fell into the trap of thinking if I just prayed God would fix me. But those prayers went unanswered and recovery was elusive.

That went on for years.

It did not truly assume responsibility until I learned what accountability was all about. I had to become accountable to God for everything that passed my lips: every fork full, every drink, every word I uttered.

I had to think, were these actions glorifying God? or were they just temporarily making me feel better? Of course when I was eating, drinking or saying things for my own pleasure –  the guilt and shame would always follow shortly thereafter. But when I ate and drank and spoke in ways that were pleasing to God — when I was accountable — there was no guilt and shame. And eventually there was a joy that arose from these new behaviors and habits.

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

~ Obie
Executive Director, Christians in Recovery

Letter Or Spirit?

Friday, August 12th, 2011

Do you think it matters “why” you do the right thing?

Training for Rich’s Ride is teaching me a lot. If nothing else, riding mostly alone for 3-4 hours per day provides a lot of time to think.

I thought I knew about getting in shape. There’s a process—you do certain things, follow the steps, and eventually you reach your goals. But I’ve never trained for this kind of long-term endurance event. I’m discovering that doing the training, following the steps, is really not the biggest part of the battle.

The hardest aspect of this kind of training is mental. I’m finding that I need to change how I perceive what I’m doing.

I remind myself several times during each workout why I’m doing the work. I want to honor God, serve others, share my story. The exercise is a means to an end; it’s not the end.

You may think it doesn’t matter what I’m thinking as long as I get the workout done, but I’m finding that it matters a lot. When I forget the foundations, exercise becomes drudgery, a series of expected behaviors I “have to” complete. All I want is to get done. The joy vanishes and workouts become self-imposed rules I “have to” follow.

That might work for a short period, but over time frustration builds and motivation lags. I begin seeking shortcuts and excuses, or I do the work half-heartedly so I can check it off the list. That’s not a formula for long-term success.

Look at the previous three paragraphs. Change the context. Replace “exercise” with your job, church, quiet time, marriage, friendship, family time, or whatever adds long-term quality to your life.

  • Have you reduced an essential area of life to a perfunctory set of behaviors?
  • Are you experiencing a sense of “have to”?
  • Are you conforming to rules or formulas?
  • Are you fulfilling the “letter of the law” or the spirit behind it?

He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Corinthians 3:6

I always thought religion was about a long list of rules, things you should do and shouldn’t do—mostly things you shouldn’t do. And I was right. That’s what religion is about.

But following Jesus is something entirely different. He doesn’t want me to change my behavior, He wants to change ME. He doesn’t want me to conform to some code. He wants me to allow Him to transform my heart.

The letter kills. The Spirit gives life.

Has “letter” replaced “Spirit” in some important aspect of life? What needs to change?

Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

Dixon
Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance
. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

O Think Upon Your Dignity!

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011


Christian! You are a child of God’s love, an heir of His glory, and reckoned among His favorites! O think upon your dignity, and consider:

Will an Emperor live like a beggar?

Is it befitting for those who are clothed in scarlet–to wallow in the mire?

Am I born of God–and shall I live like a beast?

Has God raised my soul to the purest excellencies–and shall I stain my dignity with the world’s filth?

May I feed upon Christ–and shall I feed upon empty vanities?

Shall I who am to judge the world–be a drudge to the world?

Has Christ prepared for me a mansion in the heavens–and shall I be groveling in earthly mire?

Am I a child of light–and shall I commit the works of darkness?

No! I am born to greater and higher things–than to be a slave to lust, and a drudge to the world!

Thomas Sherman, “Divine Breathings; Or, a Pious Soul Thirsting after Christ”

A.A., Charlie Sheen, and David Arquette

Friday, March 11th, 2011

This Is All about the News Accounts

I believe it was the famous star and commentator Will Rogers who said: “All I know is what I read in the newspapers.” And, while I have 24-plus years in A.A., the only thing I know about Charlie Sheen and David Arquette is what I’ve watched almost daily on TV and seen in the news stories. The gist of the news seems to be that A.A. is mentioned in most of the accounts.

Charlie Sheen has blasted A.A.. And David has just celebrated 60 days of sobriety in A.A. despite his recent auto accident. What a difference!

Alcoholics Anonymous and What It Offers

Early A.A.-with the 75% success rate early A.A. claimed among its “seemingly-hopeless” and “medically-incurable” pioneers; and early Cleveland A.A.’s documented 93% success rate, and its growth from one group to 30 in a year-offers a compelling lesson for those who enter 12-Step programs today.

Following his visit to Akron in February 1938, Frank Amos, John D. Rockefeller, Jr.’s agent, summarized the original Akron A.A. “Program” in seven points. Here are those points, as quoted on page 131 of the A.A. General Service Conference-approved book Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers (New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., 1980):

  • An alcoholic must realize that he is an alcoholic, incurable from a medical viewpoint, and that he must never drink anything with alcohol in it.
  • He must surrender himself absolutely to God, realizing that in himself there is no hope.
  • Not only must he want to stop drinking permanently, he must remove from his life other sins such as hatred, adultery, and others which frequently accompany alcoholism. Unless he will do this absolutely, Smith and his associates refuse to work with him.
  • He must have devotions every morning-a “quiet time” of prayer and some reading from the Bible and other religious literature. Unless this is faithfully followed, there is grave danger of backsliding
  • He must be willing to help other alcoholics get straightened out. This throws up a protective barrier and strengthens his own willpower and convictions.
  • It is important, but not vital, that he meet frequently with other reformed alcoholics and form both a social and a religious comradeship.
  • Important, but not vital, that he attend some religious service at least once weekly.
  • The message carried by the successful ones-a message that can still be found in the fourth edition of Alcoholics Anonymous, A.A.’s “Basic Text” (affectionately known as the “Big Book”)-was: “God has done for me what I could not do for myself.” A.A. cofounder Bill Wilson was even more specific. According to page 191 of the fourth edition of the Big Book, Bill stated to the wife of A.A. Number Three (Bill D.):

    Henrietta, the Lord has been so wonderful to me, curing me of this terrible disease, that I just want to keep talking about it and telling people.”

    Bill’s cofounder partner, Dr. Bob, put it emphatically in the last line of his personal story quoted on page 181 of the fourth edition of the Big Book:

    Your Heavenly Father will never let you down!

    Many in today’s A.A. don’t subscribe to the statements in the foregoing paragraph.  But tens, if not hundreds of thousands, do.

    Regrettably, the news accounts today simply don’t mention the help of God as an option for the afflicted alcoholic and drug addict.

    The Charlie Sheen Story

    By all news accounts, Charlie may be clean, but he clearly still needs help. The key question is does he really want the help he needs to stay clean and sober. And if so, what kind of help does he want? There is no mention of God. There is lots of condemnation of A.A. The TV gurus who talk about his problems have claimed several possibilities: (1) He is in the throws of typical and severe withdrawal. (2) He is hypomanic. (3) He is narcissistic. (4) He is bipolar. (5) He is in great danger; and, some say, needs an intervention.

    What about Charlie? He rants on and on, and frequently suggests he is “Winning.”

    Many years back, a well-known A.A. oldtimer in Marin County, California-an alcoholic for sure-told of his incarceration in a mental ward. Finally, as he was about to be discharged, he remonstrated to the gatekeeper that he was still crazy. The reply was: “If you don’t drink, maybe nobody will notice it.”

    Many of us watch the erratic behavior, have seen it before among some AAs, and just wonder if Charlie will recognize that-with his admitted use of seven grams of coke on at least one occasion-there’s not much chance that anyone will be sure if he’s crazy or not. Lots of us might point out, however, that if he will decide to quit alcohol and drugs once and for all, turn to God for help, stick to his guns in treatment and A.A., and start helping others, maybe nobody will notice the mental diagnoses.

    The David Arquette Story

    I know practically nothing about David Arquette. I read that he just celebrated 60 days of sobriety in A.A. I read that he was in an auto accident, swerving into the other lane. I read that he was sober and refused pain pills. And I read that he hustled himself off to an A.A. meeting. No mention in the news of God, the Big Book, the Twelve Steps, a Sponsor, or the frequency ofhis attendance at A.A. meetings. And nothing about his helping others.

    But, at 60 days of sobriety in A.A., enmeshed in his typical recovery problems, it was refreshing to see that he was doing something about his alcoholism problem and refraining from blaming it on A.A. or someone else. It takes time to recover. And it’s good to see someone is bending an effort to bring recovery about.

    I hope to see that Arquette has also turned to God for help, cleaned house, and decided to devote himself to helping others-as a few of the other successfully-recovered celebrities have done.

    © 2011 Anonymous. All rights reserved
    [Dick B. is a writer, historian, retired attorney, Bible student, CDAAC, and an active and recovered member of the A.A. fellowship. He has published 42 titles and over 500 articles on the history of Alcoholics Anonymous and on the Christian recovery movement]

    Who’s In Charge?

    Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

    Who’s in control?

    Ultimately, of course, God is in control. But what if we narrow the scope a bit? If I think about myself and my own reactions or responses, who’s in control?

    I asked that question earlier this week in a group of eighth grade boys. How do you think they answered?

    I worked with middle school kids for a long time, so their answer didn’t really surprise me. Still, I felt a sense of dismay as I listened to their convictions.

    These young men are absolutely convinced that others have the ability to “make” them lash out in anger or run away in terror. They truly believe that, in at least some situations, they’re powerless to determine how they respond. They think courage means fighting when someone challenges them.

    Isn’t that incredibly sad? And before you dismiss their feelings of powerlessness as adolescent immaturity, let’s wonder how many of us harbor more subtle versions of the same heartbreaking notion.

    How often does another driver cut in front of me, “causing” me to yell because he “made” me angry? Do I ever fall into the trap of gossip because “everyone else is doing it”?

    You made me afraid. She made me depressed. He made me sad. They made me lonely.

    Does any of this sound familiar? Am I the only one who habitually gives away my power to choose and blames someone else for my own internal interpretations and external reactions?

    These might be familiar statements, but they’re lies. No one else holds the power to “make” me angry or depressed or lonely. If I hadn’t been talking to those boys in a public school classroom, I might have reminded them that Jesus died so they could be free from that nonsense.

    It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. [Galatians 5:1]

    This passage usually refers to freedom from sin, but what’s more sinful than surrendering my own self-control and self-respect? What’s more sinful than handing over the self-worth and freedom for which Jesus died?

    I told those boys they were worthwhile and worthy of respect, not because of what they accomplished but because they were valuable as individuals. I told them they held the power to choose their responses. We worked through some activities, but I honestly don’t know if they believed me. It’s difficult to counter a lifetime of reacting and blaming.

    I wanted to tell them that they’re so worthwhile and worthy that Jesus died for their freedom.

    I wanted to tell them that Jesus “…did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant…and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! [Philippians 2:6-8]

    I wanted them to know that Jesus values them so much that He let go of being God and died for them.

    That’s the truth I couldn’t tell them in that setting.

    But it’s still the truth. You and I are so valuable that Jesus was willing to take our place and confront death so we could be free.

    The next time I’m tempted to blame someone else for my own reaction, I hope I’ll remember the price at which my freedom to choose was bought.

    Maybe I won’t give it away so cheaply.

    Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

    Dixon
    Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.

    Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:

    Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance. Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

    What Measuring Stick Do You Use?

    Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

    But they, measuring themselves by themselves,
    and comparing themselves among themselves,
    are not wise (2 Corinthians 10:12).

    If there is any one criterion that distinguishes us as either wise or foolish, it’s the measuring stick by which judge ourselves. When we want to excuse our own words or actions, we can always find someone else to use as a comparison: “I may do this, but so-and-so does that, which is so much worse!” And that may very well be true. But what do the Scriptures have to say about offering such excuses for our own behavior?

    Second Corinthians declares that those who measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves among themselves “are not wise.” God’s wisdom is quite different—and superior—to man’s wisdom. Romans 1:22 says, “Professing to be wise, they became fools.” Though God’s Word clearly states that wisdom is not found in comparing ourselves to other flawed human beings, we often do that, don’t we? In the process, we become fools. And what is a fool, according to Psalm 14:1, but someone who says in his heart, “There is no God; [I will set my own standards].”

    God’s criterion for distinguishing between the wise and foolish is how we compare ourselves and judge our own behavior. If our measuring stick is other people, we will always find someone who, in our eyes at least, is worse than we are. But if we adopt God’s standards, the only One against whom we can judge ourselves is Jesus—and He is perfect.

    That’s the bottom line, isn’t it? There really are only two ways to get to heaven (yes, I said TWO!): We can be perfect from the moment we’re born until the moment we breathe our last on earth (I don’t see anyone standing in that line, do you?), or we can repent of our pride and failures as we see them so clearly in our comparison to Christ, and then allow the perfection and righteousness of God’s Son to seal us to the Father’s heart and assure our place with Him for eternity.

    When I step from this earth into the presence of a holy and righteous and perfect God, I want to do so not as a fool who lived my life according to the standards of others, but rather as one who is wise and depended solely on the standards of the Savior. There is great peace in that choice, my friends—and great promise for eternity.

    Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !
    Kathi Macias, all rights reserved. Used by permission.
    Kathi Macias is a multi-award winning writer who has authored 26 books. Her newest books are:
    “Beyond Me. Living a You-first Life in a Me-first World”


    and


    “Mothers of the Bible Speak to Mothers of Today”

    Her new novels:
    No Greater Love
    More than Conquerors
    The author can be reached at: http://www.kathimacias.com

    Moving from Passive Victim to Active Seeker

    Thursday, July 1st, 2010

    Curiosity has its own reason for existing. Albert Einstein.

    I’ve been thinking a bit (an unusual and dangerous development) about the notion of overcoming adversity. As a paraplegic, I’m often asked questions like: How did you deal with it? How did you get past it? What helped you move forward?

    When I recall twenty-one years of adjusting to life in a wheelchair, first impressions include frustration, anger, and isolation. Each challenge seems to elicit a sense of impossibility and hopelessness, and my initial reaction is capitulation. It’s as though I’m programmed to greet difficult circumstances with: I’ll never be able to …

    I can’t sometimes lingers for moments, sometimes for years. But as I analyze how I surmounted insurmountable obstacles, a consistent theme emerges. After I tired of I can’t, I discovered an innate curiosity that prompted surprising creativity. And I think that creative urge is part of how I was created in God’s image. He’s inherently creative.

    In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. (Genesis 1: 1-3)

    In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. (John 1: 1-5)

    The first thing God tells us about Himself is that He created, and John echoes that creative element in his initial description of Jesus. I think that understanding this central aspect of God’s character explains how we can approach obstacles in a more positive, productive manner.

    After my accident I wasted several years mired in depression and hopelessness, until a counselor encouraged me to begin a journal. As I expressed my feelings and thoughts, I encountered an unexpected sense of peace and curiosity. Rather than simply venting, I began probing and exploring, searching for patterns and insights. And gradually I moved from passive victim to active seeker. I discovered that I enjoyed writing, and an exciting new career path appeared.

    I’ve published more than two dozen magazine articles and a book. I’ve cranked a hand cycle more than ten thousand miles. I’ve spoken to large and small audiences about overcoming adversity. I’ve successfully taught middle school mathematics.

    Each of these was delayed and nearly prevented by I can’t. Each accomplishment proceeded when I stopped focusing on impossibility and allowed myself to creatively seek new approaches.

    As a follower of Jesus, I want to do life God’s way. When I encounter a challenge, I want to tap the power and joy of creativity that’s part of my identity in Christ.

    What’s an obstacle you face that might look different if you approached it with curiosity and creativity?

    Don’t miss CIR’s Daily Article !

    Dixon
    Copyright 2010 by Rich Dixon, All Rights Reserved. Used by permission.
    Rich is an author and speaker. He is the author of:
    Relentless Grace: God’s Invitation To Give Hope Another Chance
    . Visit his web site www.relentlessgrace.com

    Tangles Which Our Fingers Cannot Unravel

    Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

    “Show me the way I should walk, for I have come to you in prayer. Psalm 143:8

    We cannot know the way ourselves. The path across one little day seems very short, but none of us can find it ourselves. Each day is a hidden world to our eyes, as we enter it in the morning. We cannot see one step before us, as we go forth. An impenetrable veil covers the brightest day, as with night’s black robes. It may have joys and prosperities for us–or it may bring to us sorrows and adversities. Our path may lead us into a garden–or the garden may be a Gethsemane. We have our plans as we go out in the morning–but we are not sure that they will be realized. The day will bring duties, responsibilities, temptations, perils, tangles which our fingers cannot unravel, intricate or obscure paths in which we cannot find the way.

    What could be more fitting in the morning than the prayer, “Show me the way I should walk!” God knows all that is in the day for us. His eye sees to its close–and He can be our guide.

    There is no promise given more repeatedly in the Bible, than that of divine guidance. We have it in the shepherd psalm, “He leads me in the paths of righteousness.” Paths of righteousness are right paths. All God’s paths are clean and holy. They are the ways of His commandments.

    But there is another sense in which they are right paths. They are the right ways–the best ways for us. Ofttimes they are not the ways which we would have chosen. They do not seem to be good ways. But nevertheless they are right–and lead to blessing and honor. We are always safe, therefore, in praying this prayer on the morning of any day, “Show me the way I should walk!”

    (J. R. Miller, “For a Busy Day” 1895)